Hi Papabear!
This is my first question I am going to ask you, and possibly more, but I’m only going under a fake name because I'm uncomfortable sharing my real name with someone I don’t know, but anyways, I wanted to ask this question: How do I make more furry friends in my school, while trying to stay away from gossip and backlash around me? Here is some context. I have been in the fandom since August of 2022 (by the time you answer this it may be my 2nd anniversary of being in the fandom!), but I’ve never been able to make any genuine friends in the fandom. I’m usually friends with them one day, but it’s never been long term. Since I don’t have many friends online, I try to resort to in real life friends! However, there is one issue with this: I am a popular kid at school. Now I know there is a lot of misinformation about furries online, and I do not want to ruin my reputation only to be hated by the people who used to support me throughout the years that I’ve been with them. I try to indirectly tell them that I am a furry, but I would hate for someone to tell that to someone else and make it spread. I know of other furries in my school, but most people joke around and gossip about them. My closest friend (that I’ve been friends with for 9 years), does not really approve of furries and I think that he may not be fond of me if I told him the truth that I am a furry. The way I found this out was by wearing a furry avatar in roblox. I even asked him about it one day. I know I’m kinda ranting about it (I’m sorry) but … sometimes I genuinely feel alone in the fandom. I’ve kept this a secret from pretty much everyone (except for a few people) and I just really want that one person who genuinely cares for me. One that will go to furry cons with me, not judge me, and maybe even have a happy life with them (boy or girl it doesn’t matter). I just … I don’t know … I felt like someone that has been through a bit in the furry fandom could actually help me with this. If you can recommend anyone I could be friends with (if possible), please let me know. Cheers! Sending you Mint ice cream your way! Minty the Protogen (age 15, Louisiana) * * * Dear Minty, First, consider why you are a furry. Are you a furry because you want to be popular? Or are you a furry because you love the furry arts and creative play of the fandom and you want to get into things like furry gaming, fursonas, writing stories, creating art, and enjoying furry fiction? If you are more concerned about your popularity at school than about being a furry, you should just forget about being a furry and continue being Mr. Popularity at your school. But know this: Most people who are friends with the popular person at school (or work, or church, or whatever) are only fair-weather friends who hover around you like flies over a summer picnic because it looks tasty, not because they are real friends. After you graduate, you'll never hear from them again. I have one true friend from those days named Todd, who has been my friend since the third grade and is STILL my friend 50 years later. THAT is a real friend. A real friend will be your friend whether or not you are popular and whether or not you are a furry. So, to answer your initial question: If you come out as furry in your school, the results will be predictable. You will likely be the new target of all the kids who hate furries and you can say bye bye to being the popular guy. Now, if you are truly bold, you could try and use your popularity to change people's views about furry. That is, use your cachet to make furry cool at school. Kind of like in Turning Red, where Mei's ability (or curse) to turn into a giant red panda becomes super cool at her school, with all the students lining up to take photos with her and buy her merch. I don't know if that is possible IRL, but wouldn't that be wonderful? There are a lot of young furries out there who get into furry because they want to be outrageous and get noticed. In a lot of ways, furry is becoming more mainstream (the success of Zootopia and Turning Red are indicators of this). You could try to be the person at your school who turns things around and makes furry totally pawsome. But it would take a lot of work on your part, and you would have to pursue it fearlessly. Not sure what the social climate in Louisiana is, but if you are in or around New Orleans, I hear that is a pretty outrageous town. You could maybe take advantage of Mardi Gras celebrations to let your furry side out. (I don't mean go to Mardis Gras, just use it as a theme.) It could go well, or it could backfire on you big time. Ask yourself if you're willing to take that risk. If not, play it safe and don't come out furry around your classmates. Now, as to finding IRL furries to hang with, yeah, that can be a bit challenging. The best way is to first find nearby furries online and then try to hang with them at furmeets and furcons. How do you find local furries online? There are a couple of ways to do so. First off, I recommend downloading the Barq app on your phone. It's a social app that will show you right away which registered users are close to you. Next, go online and simply google "Louisiana Furries." I found this website https://sites.google.com/view/louisianafurs/home about Louisiana furs by doing that search. Interestingly, there were plans for a Bayou Furry Bash convention, but as of this time it seems it never quite got off the ground, sadly. There is also a Facebook group for Louisiana furries and FurAffinity. The FA account seems to be inactive for at least a year, and the FB account is minimally active. Rats. Seems like the Louisiana furries have been struggling. I also searched the Meetup website and Telegram, but I found nothing there that was promising. There used to be a website called the Internet Furry Proximity Locator that could have proven useful to you, but I don't believe it has been maintained, nor do many furries even know about it, so that likely won't work. If you were a little older, I would suggest you drive to Texas Furry Fiesta in San Antonio, which is not too too far from Louisiana and is an excellent con. But right now, that's not practical for you unless you can get your parents onboard. It sounds to this bear like the state of Louisiana could really use a cool furry like you to get them organized. You're still a bit young, but before you know it, you'll be 16 and then 18, and you'll be able to do more stuff independently. You might consider forming your own furmeet group. (I wrote a short column about that which might help). It can be tough to meet furries IRL in some locations in this country. Besides Barq, the best thing for you to do would be to simply join various furry groups on Facebook, Discord, Telegram etc. and ask around if anyone lives in your area. I would also suggest that you work on locating nearby furries first before you out yourself at school as a furry. That way, if things go south at school, you will hopefully have some furry friends locally to provide you some emotional support and hugs. But, hey, before I forget, didn't you say you already knew some furries at school? But, apparently, you are not talking to them because they are not part of the cool crowd. Meanwhile, you fear your "closest friend" will reject you for being a furry. I ask you to pause a moment and consider why you are avoiding these furries and what might that say about you and your fear of ruining your "reputation." If you want a friend who "genuinely cares" about you and will hang out with you at furry events, approach the furries at your school. In the end, you should pursue interests and friendships that suit you best. While everyone wants to feel love and support from their peers, this is less important than following your own path, creating your own identity rather than a persona that meets the approval of others. You are not put on Earth to fulfill the expectations of others and of our shallow and fake society. You are put on Earth to find yourself, explore the universe, and to grow as a person. If being a furry helps you with that, then gofurit. Good Luck! Papabear
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As anyone who reads my column knows, I often receives letters from furries who are either Christians or who are the children of Christian parents. They worry that they can't in good conscience be both furry and Christian. For years, I have answered this question as best I could. I am not currently a Christian, although I was raised Southern Baptist. (I left Christianity in my teen years.)
It occurred to me, finally (I can be slow at times), to ask Christian furries themselves how they would answer the question, "How can you be both a Christian and a furry?" Christian furry Jude Wriley took up my plea to answer the question by putting it to his fellow furries at an organization called the Christian Furry Fellowship. Below are their responses. I have NOT edited this for content, and this is a VERY LONG entry (23 single-spaced pages in the original), so there is a lot to absorb here. The responses do not surprise me much and are mostly what I have said before, but there is a definite Christian perspective here that I think you will find valuable that I could never provide myself. Twenty-one Christian furries answered the question. Thanks to all of them who took the time to answer in very thoughtful and measured ways. Here is what they said. . . * * * How do we, as Christians, explain that it's okay to be a furry? I think I could do this by asking, "Why might it not be okay?" And the two (biggest) objections I would think of are (1) about “the Image of God” and (2) something to the point of associating with non-Christians and others who are mistaken about God. (1) I would answer by pointing to the likeness of men/humans to God being more about our minds/souls than our bodies. (thinking of Colossians 3:10 especially). (2) The superficial point here is one of us being in the world but not of it. More to the point, it's okay as we have to associate with non-Christians if we are to help them find Christ. That said, this is the more concerning point as love can be misused (c.f. Augustine and Amor Sui) to cause people to slip in their faith. On top of these things. . . . It might be fair to point out that Jesus has been described as a lion and as a lamb at various points so the whole thing passes a (superficial at least) "Is it Christ-like?" test. -- Dragoon * * * First and foremost, it is crucial to recognize that each person is fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God, with unique characteristics, interests, and ways of self-expression. The Bible teaches us to love our neighbors as ourselves, embracing them with compassion and kindness, regardless of their individual preferences or hobbies. While the concept of being a furry may not align with traditional norms or beliefs, it's essential to remember that diversity is a fundamental aspect of God's creation. As Christians, we are called to foster a community of inclusivity, acceptance, and love, where individuals feel valued and respected for who they are. By approaching individuals who identify as furries with an open mind and a heart of understanding, we demonstrate the unconditional love that Jesus exemplified during His time on Earth. In conclusion, as Christians, we affirm the inherent dignity and worth of every individual, recognizing that differences in interests or expressions do not diminish the value of a person in the eyes of God. With grace and humility, -- Shadow-Lightning Wolf * * * Being a furry means I can get closer to Furries and lead them to Christ. -- Gilchrist * * * Hello, I happen to be a Christian furry! So I'm going to answer the question of "Is there anything wrong with being a furry?" So there is no harm with being a furry; it is a hobby. Now what that hobby is, is having an interest towards anthropomorphic animals. The interest in particular is thinking they are awesome! Some Furries can make their own furry characters to represent themselves as, that's called a "fursona." Some furries tend to roleplay as their fursonas, or use their fursona as a a profile picture. Someone can criticize the idea of being a furry by saying that's odd or they could use a bad example of what a furry did, but that doesn't make the hobby wrong in itself. It depends on how one does their hobby. -- Sanctus * * * God probably has better stuff to worry about than people pretending to be cartoon animals on the internet. [Papabear note: short and to the point. Me likey!] -- Cal * * * As people, we all have a lot of hobbies. For me, I'm a computer nerd, an airsoft player, a furry, and a gamer. None of those define who I am; that honor has been eternally reserved by Christ. They each are aspects of my life, but nothing more than that. Should any of them take precedence over my faith, or become my identity — at that point, they would become problematic, and yes, sinful. This touches on the first concern we should have regarding furries, that being the topic of identity. Obviously, as furries we are still people. To identify as an animal would be to deny the image of God He has made us in. As Christians we recognize that being a furry is merely a hobby, and that our identity is in the One who has saved us. So our prerogative as Christians is to keep furry as merely a hobby, and enjoy it the way you enjoy being a sports fan or a car buff. But there is another aspect we have to keep in mind if we choose to participate in the furry fandom; it's a sad reality that large swaths of the furry fandom practice sexual immorality of one form or another, and in fact take pride in it. It's very reasonable to question if we should even call ourselves furries. To explain how we can live pure lives apart from the sin in the furry community, I'd like to use an analogy from another hobby of mine. I enjoy airsoft matches and airsoft military simulations. Unfortunately, the airsoft community is highly toxic, and most airsofters I've met are not exactly a good influence to be around. So our predominantly Christian airsoft team enjoys our hobby while mostly keeping to ourselves, limiting our interactions to only a small piece of the wider airsoft community. This way we believe we can be a positive influence on others, instead of letting others be a negative influence on us. As Christian furries, we strive to enjoy our hobby in a similar fashion — we largely keep within the Christian furry community, and limit our interaction with the furry fandom at large, so that we can spread the Gospel. And in all things our focus is not on our fursonas, but on the fulfillment of the Great Commission: "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:19-20) -- MonocleRB * * * I’ve wrestled with this question before privately. I was once in very bitter denial about the fact that, well, I was evidently a furry. I was initially convinced that I was an awful weirdo for it, and I went through a great deal of mental turmoil as a result. However, after a few divine interventions that led me to the right people and places, God put me at peace. I hope I can properly explain the bullet points of that journey here. I’ll answer the question by first acknowledging some of the objections I’ve seen to being both a furry and a Christian. Then, I’ll give my justifications for those objections. Finally, I’ll touch on some of the good that the furry interest has done for me personally. Objection 1: Being a furry defaces/mocks/alters the Image of God. This is a good objection to make, and thankfully it is not true. The main idea of the objection is that representing yourself as something that isn’t human corrupts the fact that you are a human made by God in his own Image. In reality, using a fictional character to represent your personality is no more corrupting to the Image of God than drawing an imperfect self-portrait with crayons on paper. Can fictional representations of yourself be taken too far? Absolutely. But it doesn’t have to go there. Objection 2: Being a furry is immoral in regards to purity. Unfortunately, a lot of people in all interests, furry or otherwise, are unashamed of sin. I want to point out, though, that this is separate from the furry interest itself. You can be impure as a furry, or a sports fan, a musician, or any other interest or hobby. You can also be pure in those hobbies. Objection 3: Pretending to be an animal is a sin. That depends on what you mean by “pretend.” Acting a character, human or anthropomorphic, isn’t a problem. Fiction can be taken too far of course, and if it does, then it becomes sin. I’m personally not much of a costume guy, but cosplaying as a furry character you made is morally no different than cosplaying as a human character. Objection 4: Being a furry is weak/feminine/weird. Like before, you can be weak or strong, feminine or masculine regardless of what interest you’re involved in. As for being weird? Yeah, fair. But normal is kind of boring anyway. Now that I’ve explained why the furry interest isn’t bad, I’d like to tell you how, for me, it’s actually been good. I am not very good at understanding my own feelings, and for much of my life I suppressed them just to avoid the chaos they caused. Of course, I couldn’t always lock them up like I wanted, and I would break down. After finding peace from God about being a furry, I put together a fursona (furry persona), a fruit bat named Osmond, meaning “God’s protection.” Suddenly, I had a fictional representation of myself that I could use as a sort of emotional illustration to observe from the outside. Coming up with feelings for Osmond that were similar to my real-life feelings helped me to understand and process the strange, racing thoughts in my head by watching them play out in a story I created. Eventually, I even matured enough that I felt Osmond didn’t fit me anymore. He represented myself in the past, when I was confused, afraid, and quiet. I retired him honorably as my fursona and made a new one, a pallid bat named Ezekiel, meaning “God will strengthen.” Ezekiel represents myself now, and he is much more at peace, fearless, and joyful than Osmond. Shortly after making Osmond, I picked up drawing as a hobby. Art is currently one of my main hobbies. I particularly enjoy drawing anthropomorphic caricatures of my friends, who love seeing what animals I pick to represent them. I have met a lot of like-faithed people in the furry art community, and honing my art skills with them has been a huge blessing. Well, that’s my explanation. Hopefully this doesn’t read like a college essay, but I am in college, so I can’t help it. I love the Lord my God, and I like drawing the funny bat guy. Whoever you are and for whatever reason you took the time to read this, I hope I’ve been able to give you some peace about all of this. Hang loose, -- Mark F * * * It is no less wrong to be a furry than it is to be someone that enjoys tabletop roleplaying games, voice acting, or other forms of live action roleplay. Being a furry is simply an enthusiastic passion like any other and doing so doesn't make you any less human. Christianity is not exclusive to one race or group; from the Evangelicals in the U.S.A, the Eastern Orthodoxy in the Balkans, the Catholics in South America, the Anglicans in Africa, and the Oriental Orthodox in the Mediterranean, and so on and so forth; the truth remains the same. Christ came for all. As said in Matthew 28:19-20 (ESV), “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” So who are we as Christians to reject teaching others about the word of God? Being a furry is just simply a sliver of who you are, one that doesn't have to interfere with you being Christian. The main problem lies within those that make themselves slaves to their desires and let it degenerate them. It's all about moderation and not letting any aspect of your life control or deny your relationship with God. I won't lie to you and say it'll be easy to be a Christian Furry, you'll more than likely face some push back from both Christians and Furries who may disagree with either side of that identity, but it's best to remind yourself they are misguided in those thoughts and persecutions. Meet them with love as hard as it may be, for loving Jesus isn't the hard part, but loving people like Jesus loves is. Also, you don't have to be perfect, because in all honesty you can't be. Along the way you will trip, stumble, and bump into all kinds of sin. What really matters if you're willing to accept the hand that is willing to lead you away from it. I'm not a furry myself, but I can say that you are loved, by me and your fellow brothers and sisters and Christ, and most importantly Christ himself. Regardless of what hobby you have that'll never change, I ask of you not to endless devout your life to becoming an esteemed theologian, or priest, but rather realize that much like the Furry fandom Christians come from all walks of life and a few bad experiences doesn't mean the entirety of the people are bad. All in all, I hope I managed to give you all a new perspective on why I believe both Christianity and Furries aren't antithetical to one another, and remember as said in John 3:16 (ESV): “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” Sincerely, Your Brother in Christ, Jack * * * Hello, I got word in CFF chat that you were looking for responses to the question "How do you and I, as Christians, explain that it's okay to be a furry?" I thought I would give it a try. Whenever I have to explain what furries are, I just say "they're geeks." It's just a particular flavor of geekdom. It's no more fraught with sin and idolatry than other fandoms or hobbies or anything other pursuit in life. But ironically, of all the fandoms, I think the furry fandom has the best potential for Christians to shine and image forth God. God is endlessly playful and imaginative. One only has to look around at His creation to see this. From the common cat to the far-flung platypus, God is speaking his glory with every one of his works. The Bible does not shy away from using animal imagery to paint pictures. The last few chapters of Job are a showcase of animals from all extremes of creation. If dressing up as a lesser creature is distasteful, consider that God's greatest work involved Him doing exactly this. He put on human flesh as Jesus (Phil 2:7). He gravitated in compassion toward the lowly and misunderstood, and bore the penalty of sin on the cross to save his enemies (you and me) to make them his friends and adopted family. Jesus then calls his people out of (and into) every tribe, tongue, and nation; every community and common bond that emerges in humanity, for the mission of spreading his good news. The fandom is a unique opportunity to speak and live out this gospel, not as an outsider to it, but as one who has "become all things to all people" (1 Cor 9:19-27). Stories, artwork, music, creative remixes of the raw material that exists -- God gave these as a gift not just to the biblical authors, but to all humanity. People often point to Narnia [Papabear note: referring to C. S. Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia books; Lewis was an Anglican lay theologian and Christian apologist] as a good example of creature-filled sanctified storytelling, but it's only the beginning of what is possible. As image-bearers of the Creator, we are free to create, play pretend, take risks, and tell new stories of our own, all to the glory of God (1 Cor 10:31). -- Hexadoodle Frog * * * The Christian church and furry fandom have almost always been diametrically opposed and seemingly incompatible with one another. Yet here I stand; I consider myself to belong to both of these groups. My name is Liam, and I have been a Christian for all my twenty-five years, and I have called myself a furry for a few of those years now. Many of my family and friends are either Christian and/or furry. Some are neither. The furry community is a place filled with immensely skilled, beautiful people, and I love everyone I have ever met there. But my faith in God is the most important thing in my life. I have sacrificed a lot (and I really do mean A LOT) for my faith and it is the one thing no one and nothing can ever take away from me. God's love for me inspires me to show love to all other people, and that includes all Christians and all furries. This foundation of both reverence for my God and admiration of the individuals in the furry community is where my answer to this question comes from. Whenever Christians ask a question like, "is this okay" to participate in as a Christian, I believe there are actually two questions that must be answered. An objective question that applies to all: is the behavior biblically endorsed or condemned? And a subjective question that each person must individually ask themselves: will my participation in this behavior bring me and others closer to God? Here is my opinion on the objective question. I believe for those like me who both call themselves a furry and feel they are called to share truth and love to other people, "being a furry" is more than just "okay." I believe being a furry is part of a divine mission to connect with others atop common ground. Many Christians are confused by the definition of what a "furry" is and are stubborn to learn it. They are so stubborn they have come to fear furries. This fear is often what drives anti-furry Christians to vehemently denigrate furries and all associations with the furry fandom. I would like to express my apologies to furries who have been hurt or bullied by any member of the Christian church. This behavior is unacceptable whether it's okay to be a furry or not. This is my definition: a "furry" is someone who likes anthropomorphic animal characters. That's it. By that definition, I think anyone will be hard-pressed to find any biblical scripture condemning (or endorsing, for that matter) furries. Let me clarify by addressing some common misconceptions many anti-furries have when they imagine what a furry is. Calling oneself a furry is not an expression of identity nor sexuality. A "therian" is one who identifies as an animal. I do believe that therianism is sinful, because this denies one's own humanity. In other words, it is a form of lying and self-deceit. A "zoophile" is one who commits sexual acts with animals, and I believe this is sinful for obvious reasons. It should be equally obvious that furries are not necessarily either of these things. Another thing anti-furries seem to abhor is the concept of fursuits and fursonas, though I believe there are others who can explain it better than me. In short, a "fursuit" is a mascot costume one wears on their physical body for others' entertainment. Fursuiting is an expressive art form and I would consider it to be morally equivalent to cosplaying. A "fursona" is the character that one roleplays as. Furries often like to create artwork of their fursona as their profile photo for various social media. For fun. I myself do have a fursona (a vulture) but I do not actually believe I am the same as this character. I don't believe using either a fursona or a fursuit is sinful. But there is one underlying concern that I'd like to address for all my fellow Christians reading this. The temptation of idolatry is pervasive for ALL people, at all times. As a Christian, it ceases to be "okay" to be or to do anything when that behavior, identity, etc. replaces God in our hearts. Even something that was once good, can become poisoned and evil if we place it above God. Everything we as Christians do should be done with active certainty that it will glorify God. With this in mind, I do believe it can be a very good thing to be a Christian furry. It is my prayer that calling myself a furry will allow others to understand and receive God's love where non-furries have been unsuccessful. -- Liam * * * I simply cannot see any sort of natural sinfulness involved in an appreciation of furry characters . . . drawn, worn as a costume, or otherwise. Frankly, it involves natural, GOD-GIVEN talent and creativity to be so expressive. Certainly, there are aspects of the fandom that may be sinful, but we are considering a large fandom with an endless array of beliefs, backgrounds, personalities, etc. What others do that is sinful does indeed trouble me, and yes, I do see those things in the furry fandom, but I see them in every other walk of life as well. At its core, though, the true center of “furry” is a love of expression and creativity that, in its way, glorifies God through the use of his gifts to us as human beings. And you know what. . . ? I LOVE that! -- Ridley Cooper * * * If I could answer this question in one sentence, I don’t think I would be able to. The truth is there is much more to being a Christian than simply how you dress or what your hobbies/interests are. Whether you are a furry or part of some other subculture, the one thing that all Christians must have in common is love for their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. In this way, we are to love one another in the same way; He died for us, not wishing that anyone should perish, but that all might be saved. Even though we may not have been called to give up our physical lives for His sake, there is a part of us that still must die in order to serve Him. Because of this, we all must be willing to take up our own crosses to follow him daily. This means that even in the fandom, we are to serve Him, loving others as He loved us without compromising the truth that He has given us. While in most of pop culture, people view Jesus as being a good guy, there is not much else people can say about him. Though many people’s image and understanding of Christ has been distorted today, I can say for a fact that He has never changed; He has, is, and always will be God: the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth and the Lord of Hosts. Though many of you may not understand this, He is alive today, and He is sovereign; had it not been for God sending his only begotten son to die for us, we would all be condemned by the weight of our own sins. But enough of that; why is it okay for me and other Christians in the fandom to be furries? We realize that we have been saved from much. If you could ask any of us about what we were like before we came to Christ, I could say for a fact that we were no better than any criminal you would find on the street; however, because of the grace and mercy of Christ our King, we live to serve him in everything that we do. This means that even as furries, we are to be walking with him, not giving into our own selfish desires which separate us from Him. Everything we do is for His glory, and even the things we do in the fandom should be to glorify Him. How then, you might ask, can you glorify God as a furry and still be a Christian? There are many things within the fandom that are neither evil nor good, but many people can use these things to do evil or good. Art is one of the greatest ways a Christian can serve God, but some people use their artistic talent to make pornography; similar things can be said about music, writing, and cosplay. As Christians in the fandom, we are to put aside all the things we once used for evil. This does not mean that God cannot use the things we enjoy doing for His purposes, but we have to be living in full submission to His will in order for Him to use us. We are part of the fandom because we love each other, and we love others in the fandom because God loved us first. How would I explain God’s love and the reason why we love one another? The love of God is not the same as the world’s definition of love. The type of love we practice as Christians is sacrificial love because our Lord gave up everything He had, paying the ultimate price to buy us from sin and death. Because of the grace and mercy He has shown us through His love, we are willing to give up what we love the most in return in order to serve Him so that other people may be saved. We realize that nothing that we have to offer could ever please God, even though in our hearts we may believe what we are doing is right, which is why every day, we are sanctified by the Holy Spirit: a perpetual act of repentance from our old ways through prayer, meditation, and study of God’s Word (The Bible). Nothing we have is our own but belongs to God. Because of this, we are willing to bring Christ with us, even in the fandom, so that He can use us as a living testimony of his glory. Why do we do this? Besides love, grace, mercy, and truth, we all are required to have faith. Faith is the act of believing in a truth that is unseen; though we may not see God or all of the works he is doing (or even in this world, for that matter), We all believe that Christ has died, risen, and sits at the right hand of God the Father, and we believe that someday, He will return as King to establish His Kingdom here forever and ever. Because we rely on this truth, we do everything in expectation of His imminent coming; even in the fandom, we wish to show other people how great He is. By having faith that in doing what we are doing, we can honor God by being part of the fandom. -- Shadow * * * For me, the furry fandom is a great way for me to live out my faith, practice my God-given talents, and is a great way to reach out to the lowly and the outcast. I was always a very imaginative kid. When I was little, I used to write stories, draw scenes, and at one point even invented 7 or 8 different languages for the various characters that inhabited my little world. I always had my head in the clouds and my parents were kinda tolerant of it, not because it was wrong, but because they wished I acted more mature and focused on getting straight A's in school and didn't act like a total nerd. I was born and raised in a cultural but nominally Roman Catholic household. My parents went to church but never really took it seriously. When I was going through middle school and the first half of high school, we stopped going to church and I fell away with my parents. I explored many different faiths and spiritual beliefs, but it wasn't until I had a real spiritual encounter with God in a dream that I had that it hit me that the Christian God was the true God. I got back into my faith with fervor, learning as much as a could about my faith, and now I'm a believer. But just because I was a believer, that didn't mean I stopped my creative side. If anything, it took off way more. I continued writing stories and making art all throughout high school and college. Then, my best friend who I grew up with became a furry. I was curious, so I started looking into it more. I discovered that furries were just enthusiasts who loved cartoons and animal characters in fantasy in general. Despite being in high school, I never really gave up my love of cartoons, technically I tried to for like two years, but it didn't last (though I felt I had to hide it from my parents due to me getting "too old" for them). During college, I decided to become as well. As a furry, I felt I could continue to enjoy Cartoons, Cosplaying, Art, Stories, and be around others like me, and I was right. One of the things that I noticed whenever I talk about how I draw and write with people who are Christians, I notice that they are usually very accepting and encouraging of it. And I love drawing and writing. It gives me a sense of wonder and excitement, and lets me express myself in ways I could never do without it. Most of the times, the people who are judgmental and dismissive of my creative hobbies are people who are usually very miserable, and are only happy when others are miserable with them, and the Christian life is not a life of misery. It was through engaging with the fandom that I rediscovered that sense of adventure (going to cons has helped me explore the country). I have also made wonderful Catholic and Christian furries who truly live out the faith, and they have helped me be more open about my struggles, vices and crosses that I bare. It has also given me a mission to reach out to others here in the fandom and show them the Christian love and the truth of the gospel (normies aren't going to approach a furry with love and compassion, they would rather avoid us because we are too weird for them, and as Christians we are called to reach even the weirdos). I understand that a lot of normies will never understand us. I understand that a lot of normies will never want to understand us. But a life truly lived is one where the only person that matters is God. If we try to live our lives the way others want us to live them, we are not really living our life, and we are denying God the opportunity to work through us in a way that is different from the rest of the world. That isn't to say that there aren't challenges that come with being a Christian furry. Most Christian normies will look down on you for being involved in the hobby. Some secular furries will look upon you with suspicion or may be hostile to the faith. And there can be many traps that one can easily fall into that could compromise one's morals (as is true with life outside the fandom as well). But that is why we as Christian furries are called to live out our faith publicly and faithfully in this space. By doing so, we can show that there is a way to live as a Christian furry. I hope this helps. -- Felixian Fox * * * I would like to start off with saying I do not identify as a furry. In my heart I have found a personal normalcy for furries. From a non-furry, I adore furries and have a romanticized viewpoint on them. From what I've seen of them it's as if they chase a magic in their hearts by maintaining a vulnerability, a softness, in their soul. They are more sensitive to the expressions of this world than the average person, for better or for worse: they revel in their bliss more when happy and are wounded deeper when hurt. All people of this world are molded by the things they love, but few more than the furries. But more than this, are the furries who live between the two worlds of their fandom and Christianity. To be a true Christian is to take the challenges in your life and carry it as your burden. And despite this, still try to give to the rest of the world through good actions: It is to give food to those who are hungry, even when you're hungry. It is to take the anger you feel towards those you disagree with or one who wants to bring you wrath and offer them kindness. It is about knowing that you will be provided for by God in all ways. It is a challenge from beyond transcendence of the unseen to be more than your base desires. It's something impossible to perfect, but any true attempt is noble. Furries who have accepted the Lord into their lives occupy a unique niche in society: The mainstream idea of Christianity is rejected, by many, in circles that the furry culture thrives in. Conversely, traditional Christians will look to furries and think they're pagans due to the fervency of which they love their subject-matter. But, despite this, Christian furries are ones who hold onto their love of who they are, while reaching for the light of God. This brings a new difficulty into their lives, they live in a dichotomy between the two, oftentimes opposing, worlds. I believe this brings out a new foundational faith in them. They are like two plants intertwined which grow into something new, something beautiful in their own right. May this niche of the fandom bear fruit for the word of God. Thank you for reading. -- Branden * * * “Being a furry” is a complicated subject. The image most laypeople have in their head when this subject is brought up is of a person pretending to be an animal, perhaps dressing up in expensive animal-themed costumes, perhaps walking around on all fours or doing other animal-related activities humans usually do not do. However, what defines a furry does not necessarily include those notions. In reality, a “furry” is just a member of the furry fandom, which is just a group of people who share the similar interest of anthropomorphic animal characters/art. If someone like Disney’s Robbin Hood, a popular movie that features anthropomorphic animal characters, that does not make them a furry automatically, but rather their choice to be included in the fandom. Many people will say that to be a furry you need a fursona (a “furry” version of yourself). You do not, but many people in the fandom do anyway. Many people also think that being a furry means you think that you are not a human but are actually an animal in some aspect. This is not necessary to be a furry, and in fact describes something entirely different called a therian, which is not the topic of this question. Given this much more sensible definition, asking why it’s ok for a Christian to be a furry would essentially be equivalent to asking if it's ok for a Christian to be a fan of knitting, or snowmobiling, or any other hobby, because when you get down to it, that’s all “being a furry” means; partaking in a particular hobby. However, it is reasonable to ask a follow-up question: is it ok as a Christian to be associated with a fandom that contains so much sin? Even from the outside, it is evident that the furry fandom has a lot of problems, the most obvious of which are those of a sexual nature. However, given the nature of how “fandoms” work, it is very possible for a person to be associated with a fandom without being associated with the sinful aspects of that fandom. For example, a Christian might very much enjoy firearms and yet completely distance themselves from those that use guns for violence or illegal activities. Likewise, a Christian could easily hang out with other furries, show appreciation for anthropomorphic character art, have a fursona, even own and wear a fursuit and go to furry conventions, while at the same time purposefully distancing themselves from the sinful aspects of the fandom. Additionally, there is also the angle of outreach. As mentioned previously, there is a lot of obvious sin in the furry fandom, yet does that not make it the prime place for Christians to be? Jesus himself dined with terrible sinners not because He approved of sin, but rather to bring those in sin out of it. Similarly, because the furry fandom is so broken, it needs the help of Christians more than most fandoms. To summarize, “being a furry” is not inherently sinful, even though there are very obvious sin problems within the fandom, and in fact, because of those problems, a Christian presence in the fandom would very likely be a good thing for those still deep in sin. -- Alarotel * * * The word “furry” has gathered a lot of dirt in recent decades. However, at the root of it is an affinity toward the ancient concept of anthropomorphism, a sense of connectedness to the animal world, and often a desire to express this artistically. We see this gift at work way back in Aesop’s fables, in the animal stories of C. S. Lewis and Beatrix Potter, and the more recent comics of Calvin & Hobbes and Pogo. My point here is that what some may call “furry” is far more rich and mysterious than a bunch of kids scampering around in expensive animal-costumes at conventions. And while I wouldn’t roll my eyes at such kids, I do think that they’re only hitting the tip of the iceberg that is the treasure of anthropomorphics. The creative nature of God himself is anthropomorphic. It is a rather avant-garde thing to not only create a physical creature in your own image, but to also incarnate yourself in that form out of love for a creative project dear to your heart. The purpose of this incarnation was to redeem mankind and raise him up to God’s level. Creative humans are, as image-bearers, microcosms of God’s creative nature, and some of them are born with or develop what I like to call a Dr. Dolittle type of thing. They exhibit their own creative nature on a smaller scale – imparting their own nature to a lower tier of creatures to raise them up in the same way that the Lord has done through the turbulent history of mankind. This has been done remarkably well in A. A. Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh stories and in Carl Barks’s Uncle Scrooge comics, but that’s just scratching the surface. Also, God has already "anthropomorphized" many of his own creations, some to an eerie degree. Anyone who has spent time getting to know crows, raccoons, or monkeys will know exactly what I’m talking about. Anthropomorphism takes this aesthetic and ramps it up a bit. Contemporary furry culture has a problem with ramping that aesthetic up into carnal and shallow territory, and furries in general have caught flak for that. But this is somewhat like coming down on motorcycle riders for the wrongs committed by Hell’s Angels. There is a lot of reactionary, emotional drama surrounding furries right now. Some of it is for good reason. But when facing the question of whether or not it’s okay to be a Christian fur, I suggest that we go back to the basics of assessing things by their fruits (Matt. 7:16). I believe that ideally, Christians on the Dr. Dolittle wavelength will hark back to the literary and artistic visionaries who used their talents and quirks to do what good art should do: help us see beauty in unexpected places, develop our empathy and understanding, to face tough questions without the urge to propagandize easy answers . . . and to create some darn good animal art and stories. Because anthropomorphic creativity is, in my opinion, more fun than driving a top of the line Corvette. I don’t expect everyone to understand that. Furs and creative people in general are oddballs, artistic Christians are oddballs to a greater degree, and furry artistic Christians are oddballs to an even greater degree than that. But odd/weird/abnormal are relative terms. The mantis shrimp is odd according to blue jay aesthetics and standards, yet both creatures come from the creative mind of God. I therefore believe that Christian furs can grow close to the creative mind of God in special ways. This will take special training, patience, and spiritual discipline, and the majority of furries won’t care a bit about that. But I would urge my reader to not lump Christian furries in with such people. Christian furs are no better or worse than any “normie,” but they are nevertheless men and women of value. They need all the help and direction they can get, and since they’re not going to get it from a broken furry culture, why not consider lending them your own ear? -- JJ Mike * * * Many people say that you cannot be a Christian and a Furry and a Christian for many reasons, but the main one I hear a lot is the fandom is too sexual for a Christian. I won’t deny the fandom is extremely linked to sexual tones, but it is not inherently sexual. There is a stereotype that medical professionals are promiscuous with each other in their work-lives, but I would venture a guess that most people don’t immediately look at a doctor and think “I bet they had sex this morning.” In either case, the connections are there, but neither is inherently sexual. As such, if we don’t judge one group for their stereotype, we shouldn’t judge another. Being a furry is hardly immoral. Everyone has their reasons for associating with the animals they pick, and associating people or groups or even our own Lord is common in the New Testament. Lions, lambs, calves, snakes; there’s many animals which are used to describe people, often in symbolic ways. In my case, I view wolves as a symbol of family, communion, and faithfulness to one another. I have never believed in a wolf being a good way to symbolize someone who is adamant, hard-hitting, and tough. “A lone wolf is a dead wolf.” Like a person, every wolf needs various counterparts to thrive, and each person of a family comes together to, hopefully, make it a prosperous family. These are the qualities I hold highly in my life, and I do my best to be a representative of these attributes. I also consider these qualities to be important to a Christian. A good Christian cares for their family, both blood and chosen family; they commune with one another, breaking bread, sharing prayer, and exchanging laughs and stories; they are faithful to one another, supporting each other while also holding each other accountable. All three of these characteristics feed into and off one another. Personally, I think these are qualities people of all faiths and all creeds could agree are good things, but that’s neither here nor there. Just a few weeks ago, I had a dinner with local furs that involved grilling and baking and all sorts of foods. What I thought was going to be eating while watching a movie turned out to be sitting around a table with one another as a large group, and we all talked, as a whole-group and as individual smaller groups; lots of laughs, lots of new friends, and I even learned many of the furs at the table with me were also Christians. Even if they hadn’t been Christians, most of them know I openly am one. It was nice to feel welcome and wanted. So, if a wolf symbolizes what I associate to be excellent qualities of a Christian, why would I not want to associate myself with that? If Jesus is the Lamb of God, the scapegoat upon which our sins would be levied for atonement (like the scapegoat ritual before Yom Kipur), I would like to do my best to symbolize the qualities I consider important to being a good Christian. There is nothing in scripture which says I cannot be a furry. I do not use it as a form of escapism. I do not use it to pretend to be something I am not. My fursona and I are one in the same, even down to being overweight. He just happens to be an anthropomorphic wolf, and I’m just a fleshy human. Furthermore, it is my personal experience that many people in the furry fandom have been abused or hurt by people who claim to be Christians. I consider it my responsibility to show these people who have been hurt in Christ’s name how a proper worshiper would love and treat them. Instead of judging and attacking others, show them that I come offering them hugs and food. Instead of being cold and defensive, I try to be warm and open to them. Instead of standoffish and withdrawn, I will be the friend who sits there and cries with you. For a community that has been hurt by people so much, I want to be a good representative, showing them the same love which my Lord showed me, and perhaps, just maybe, I can convince them to come back to Christianity. These are my friends, brothers, sisters, and more. I want to be the kind of furry others think of when they think of a Christian furry; the furry who is faithful and kind to them. -- Kai * * * In the Army, there is an important acronym: BLUF. It stands for “bottom line up front” and means to lead with the single most important takeaway so it does not get lost in a lengthy composition. The BLUF I’d like to present is this: Consider more generally what makes something not okay and apply that model to being a furry. Allow me to elaborate: My friend Thom and I have a rather ancient and niche hobby. Odds are, you’ve at least heard of it. It’s a hobby that is not addressed in the Bible in any way, nor is it contrary to its teachings or principles. However, for hundreds of years it was forbidden for priests to enjoy, and at one point all those who participated in it were declared anathema: considered assuredly damned because of it. The most recent Christian outcry against it happened hundreds of years ago; the negative sentiment has subsided and now millions of Christians around the world openly partake in it. What makes it okay to do? The corollary of that question is easier to answer: What would make it not okay to do? Just like this hobby, being a furry would be unacceptable if it were condemned, fundamentally incompatible, or against principles of conduct for Christianity. The most basic prohibition on Christian conduct is an explicit condemnation of an action. Sexual intercourse with an animal, for example. There is a direct prohibition against it. Murder is another example. Kidnapping, human sacrifice, incest, all have a big NO attached to them. We may think of the big ones like murder as obviously wrong to anyone, yet they sadly still happen even today. The next point of conflict is more of a meta one; an underlying incompatibility with Christianity. The message of Christianity–that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, loves us so much that he became fully human while retaining his deity, lived a perfect life, died a horrible death to save the souls of any human who believes in Him despite our unworthiness and shortcomings–requires we believe we are human. It requires us to believe that as humans, we are created in the image of God. If we see ourselves as a non-human or animal spirit in a human body, there is fundamental conflict. That view would force us into three boxes: either as nonhumans we are without sin and are completely perfect in every aspect of our lives–not once looking at someone in malice or telling a white lie or having any shortcoming at all whatsoever; or there have no hope for forgiveness since we have fallen short of perfection yet believe that the forgiveness is solely for others; or there is no resolution and inner turmoil brews no matter how we try to suppress it. Finally, we must examine the principles for conducting ourselves as Christians. The Bible is not an NFL rule book. It does not list out every penalty a la “false start. 5 yard penalty. Replay the down.” It is written as a collection of history, poetry, letters, and theology–the actions of real people both good and bad. One of the key teachings in terms of Christian conduct is the words of Jesus when asked what the most important command in the Bible is. He replied, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” Our behavior in all aspects of life should follow that rule of love which is all-encompassing. We are to be fair and honest, because that is how we show our love for others. Love, at times, can include rebuking and warning others, and carrying out discipline in some cases. It also covers showing genuine concern for those around you even when they hate you, being kind, and showing self-control. Implicit here would be not drinking while driving, obeying speed limits and civil authorities, and having compassion and patience to those who don’t understand you. To sum up, any activity would be unacceptable if it were condemned, fundamentally incompatible, or against principles of conduct for Christianity. That is as applicable to someone enjoying the furry community as it is for Thom and I as we do our other hobby. If you choose to be a Christian furry, then enjoy it with a clear conscience and to the glory of God as much as Thom and I enjoy our games of chess. Hope this helps! With Gratitude, -- ɹǝʇʇO * * * From a cultural perspective, the furry fandom often seems taboo, and this perspective is amplified among those of the traditional Christian faith. Justifying a Christian partaking in the furry fandom is usually overblown and not as complicated as it seems. In fact, there are several reasons why being a furry can be one of the most beneficial choices for a Christian with an anthropomorphic interest. In my encounters, the common religious arguments against being a furry are: "Furries deny being made in the Image of God, which is against the Bible," "Being a furry is a form of idolatry, and biblically forbidden," and also claims of bestiality. It's essential to address these issues first so we can focus on the benefits of the fandom to our religion and vice versa. Firstly, Christian furries do not deny being made in the image of God. For many, being a furry is different from being a therian, someone who views themselves as an animal trapped inside a human body. Christian furries understand that they are humans, not animals. Their participation in the fandom, having a fursona, and fursuiting are parts of their hobby and do not conflict with scriptural values. Being a furry is not a form of idolatry, just as having a cup of cocoa isn't. Of course, anything can become an idol when taken to the extreme. If it takes a higher priority than God, then there is a reason for concern. Finally, there is the claim that furries engage in bestiality. Based on the definition of bestiality, it is immediately apparent that furries do not do these things, and while there are a handful that may, the fandom has always been quick to dissociate with them. It is synonymously held that bestiality or zoophilia has no place in the fandom. Now, for the benefits of the fandom in the Christian life, there are three main aspects that have been most prominent in my experience. Namely, sharing the gospel, exercising love in fellowship, and sanctification, or training ourselves to be strong in our faith and more like Christ. First, sharing the gospel in the fandom is the perfect opportunity to obey the call of discipleship that Jesus gave us. In Matthew 28, Jesus has recently ascended from the tomb three days after his crucifixion, and before returning to heaven, he gives his followers a command. This command is often called "The Great Commission." He says, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations." Finding opportunities to share the gospel with others can be challenging in our modern world, but the fandom is the perfect place to find those opportunities. We already share a common interest: a love for anthropomorphic animals, which gives us a stepping stone for reaching those who need Christ. Interestingly, joining the fandom is an act that obeys scripture. The apostle Paul, who was amongst the first generation of the Christian church, tells us that to reach those who were lost, he had to become like them so that he may reach them where they're at. (1 Corinthians 9:20-23) Being a furry is not only passable in our religion but also biblically encouraged! Next is the topic of fellowship. In the Christian context, fellowship is simply a gathering of Christians who meet to encourage, unite, learn, love, and delight with one another in the Holy Spirit. Throughout the entire New Testament of the Bible, the writers constantly remind us to love one another during these times of fellowship (1 John 4:7, John 13:34, Romans 13:8) and share in each other's burdens and hardships. (Galatians 6:1-2) Sadly, in the Western church culture, vulnerability is often shunned, the pressure for a perfect image is strongly upheld, and being "strong" enough to conceal our struggles and emotions is the norm. The pressure of these values can lead Christians to close off, often to hide insecurities. This lack of openness leads to a lack of love, a reality present in many churches and a leading cause of why many walk away from religion altogether. For Christians in the furry fandom, we recognize our vulnerability and weaknesses and delight in humility and openness with one another. The Christian furry community loves each other more closely with how we are biblically commanded to. Having been in the faith for over 14 years and attending church for much longer, I have had many Sundays where I have encountered coldness in my interactions. In the Christian gatherings of the furry fandom, these cold interactions are drastically harder to find. Finally, being in the furry fandom as a Christian tremendously aids in our sanctification. The furry fandom can be a spiritual battlefield for a Christian. Daily, we face obstacles that make us question our faith. Many also encounter situations in the fandom where they are shunned and persecuted for their beliefs. These sufferings are tools to strengthen our beliefs and make us more like Jesus, our savior. (Romans 5:3-5) In the fandom, we have an opportunity to witness to people who share in our interests, which is a gift from God. The times when we question what we believe force us to re-evaluate our understandings and turn to scripture for answers, thus making us more steadfast than if we had faced no struggle at all. Biblically, God often used the least likely people to accomplish his plan, and our involvement with the fandom is no exception. Being Christians in the furry fandom helps us learn to love others, even if they don't share our beliefs. While much of the Christian world misses the point of our calling to love others, as furries, we get to learn firsthand how to practice love to the most profound degree of obedience for the glory of God. I hope this has helped you gain greater insight into the Christian's connection with the furry fandom and how we can feel at peace with being furries and Christians while thriving in the environment. By the grace of God, we are truly blessed that he has given us a place where our interests and faith can collide and flourish for his glory. In Christ, -- Finni the Fox * * * I remember a twitter post back in 2022 that made the case that choosing a fursona is a lot like creating an arms in heraldry. In western cultures, what was common place in the battle group the arms many universities, schools, organisations and even family dynasties would create symbols for their group. Today it is tradition to create a coat of arms when you are appointed to certain positions. Before the advent of heraldry, Christians would decorate the catacombs of their deceased brethren with pictures of Jesus, the Good Shepherd, and Lambs in their pasture. They focused on this theme (John 10, Psalm 23) as it has links to who Christians follow unwaveringly Jesus Christ. Another way is just because a craft has content that Christian’s would find objectionable in it, doesn’t mean that the whole craft is objectionable. The recent existence of edgy embroidery does not mean that you must make that edgy content to embroider. You can still produce your own embroidery that’s your usual “Home Sweet Home” or have it based upon nature or can be done to glorify God. The medium in and of itself is not the problem in this case. In the same way, while there might be content that is problematic for Christians in the fandom, that doesn’t mean that you have to partake in that side of things. Moreover, this community has helped me confess my sins in this area to the Lord, and to help fight and flee these temptations, (1 Cor 6:18) along with help from my churches minister. -- Josh * * * "Is it OK to be a furry?" Some of my cohorts may be doing the same, but, as a mathematician, I feel compelled to look at the negative of this question instead: "Is there something wrong with being a furry?" When answering either version, I must acknowledge an important bias. As a Christian, what this question entails is specific. From a secular view, "Is it OK to do X?" is a question of legality, a question of social acceptability, or is not universally well-defined. It's certainly legal to be a furry. Whether or not it is socially acceptable to be a furry is inescapably subjective, and if it is moral, that would require understanding what the one asking means by moral. From a Christian perspective, these cases align themselves and let us arrive at a particular and necessary question of clarification. You see, from a Christian perspective, if something is illegal or socially unacceptable, it is arguably immoral already. Since social acceptability is not objective and furrydom is not presently illegal, we can just address the last category: intrinsic morality. Furry as an interest is not addressed in scripture. One way forward would be to examine the following questions: 1. Does "being a furry" imply any action or state that is explicitly prohibited in scripture? 2. Does "being a furry" impede or prevent any command given by scripture? I think addressing these two questions to the fullest possible extent could be the meat of some graduate-level research. I am under instruction to keep my long-windedness to 800 words or less, so I will try to summarize by giving two passages and commentary with each. The first passage: 1 Corinthians 6:12. All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. I tend to avoid lifting a single verse off the page, but in some cases, the context is retained just fine. I think this is one of those instances. There is an important insight here extending beyond Christianity: whether the proposition "It is morally OK to be X" is true or false, one should still investigate if X is helpful or harmful. Certainly, I think being a furry could be one or the other for different people. To some, it has been a grand positive. For me in particular, it has put me in diverse company and challenged my views, resulting in a healthy reconstruction of my faith. To others, it has been an avenue for temptation. If something is harmful to one, it might be fine for another. But in any case, if something has control over you, that is not healthy. Unless the subject in question is something as fundamental as your faith or basic needs, anything that you simply "cannot live without" has reached a dangerous level of desire and dependence. The furry fandom has been a help to me and is in some way part of who I am because of my experience and sense of community within the hobby, but it should never become my center or purpose. But the same is true for most things. The second passage: Matthew 22:36-40. [A] lawyer, asked [Jesus] a question, testing Him, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” "The Law and the Prophets" refers to the books of law and the writings of the prophets, which suggests that more than the "letter of the law" is carried by the two laws cited. Further, the author of Romans in chapter 13 (although in the context of submitting to government authorities) suggests that if there is another command besides the prohibition of adultery, theft, coveting, or murder, it is covered under loving your neighbor. So, the question might be, "Does being a furry impede my ability to love my neighbor as myself?" I suspect, in light of these passages, that it is not obvious that "furriness" should cause any moral problem directly. I posit that being a furry is morally neutral, and any accusation to the contrary likely depends on associating some secondary item with the argument. For example, "Being a furry means thinking you're an animal." This is an assumption. Before making such an accusation, one should really find out what a person means by "being a furry." If the question is directed at oneself, the question should be, "What about this would be wrong, and what am I making of 'being a furry'?" -- Thom [Papabear Note: This is going to be my first in a two-part editorial/correspondence regarding the accusations often levied against furries. Traditionally, furries go on the defensive when faced with such criticism. Well, it's time to go on offense (at the risk of being offensive!)]
Dear Papabear, I have a problem. To start off, I found the Furry fandom about 8 months back when I was aimlessly skipping around the Internet. It just popped up in front of me, I looked it up, and … I fell in love with it. To me, the idea of furry was this perfect blend of imagination and wonder — something I’d always loved and, unknown to me at the time, always found refuge in. It turned my world on its ear to know that there were people out there that like this ‘outlandish’ concept as much as I do. But now, I’m scared. You see, I want to tell people I know about this, but I’m terrified of being judged. I am one of the Jehovah’s Witnesses and, with how the fandom’s portrayed, I don’t know if people will believe me or what they hear. I know I need to tell my parents (who are Jehovah’s Witnesses, too), yet I’m scared of what they will do. I love my parents, and I don’t want to hurt them by getting involved in something that they’ll believe will hurt me, but I don’t want to lose it. It’s been such a big part of me for as long as I can remember, and I don’t want to have to throw it all away — I love it. I’ve read how you responded to a similar situation, but it’s more than that. I have not been in my right mind for a long time now. I suffer from depression and some form or another of mental instability. It’s terrible and tears me in half, but furry helps. I don’t feel so horrid if I think about something furry or saw something furry earlier that day. I (for the most part) feel better than I have in a long time, but I can’t tell my father that furry things help me, he won’t accept it. (He’s not the kind to believe in something that isn’t quite traditional.) I don’t have any friends and it is hard to talk to people, but there, too, furry helps me. So, above all, how do I show my parents all the good things that being a furry does for me without them thinking that I’m going astray morally or spiritually? Uncertainly, Rusty K. (age 16) * * * Dear Rusty, Typically, when I receive a letter such as yours about being scared to tell parents one is a furry, it is because said parents are religious. The more religious they are, the worse it is, with the most problematic sects being Evangelicals, Southern Baptists (Baptists and Evangelicals being pretty much the same, but not all Evangelicals are Baptists by any means), and, lately, Jehovah Witnesses. I also get letters from Middle Eastern furries on occasion, and it's pretty safe to assume (though they usually don't mention it) that their parents are Muslims. Lately, I have received several letters from kids whose parents are Jehovah's Witnesses. Because their parents are JW's, they say they are too, which is typical for that young age to simply follow your parents' examples. On the spectrum of conservative-to-liberal religious denominations, JW's are on the very conservative side (FYI, the more liberal religions and denominations include Unitarian Universalists, Reformed Jews, the African Methodist Episcopal Church, the United Church of Christ, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, Presbyterians, Methodists, and United Church of Christ). In addition to Reformed and Conservative Judaism, the more liberal non-Christian religions are Wicca (definitely), Buddhists (although technically more a philosophy than a religion), and Baha'i (socially liberal but morally conservative). Wicca, by the way, is the fastest growing religion in the United States :) Politically and/or religiously conservative people such as your parents typically pick out bad examples in the fandom and then generalize those bad examples to "prove" that all furries are bad. They also pick up on false news (e.g., the completely false rumor started by Republicans for political reasons that furries demand cat litter boxes in school bathrooms) and believe it as if it were Gospel. What you're likely afraid of is that you will tell your Jehovah's Witness parents you are a furry, then they will go online, discover negative stories, and then lose their love or respect for you. You usually see stuff like "furries are pedos or zoophiles" or that they "want to be animals" (well, many do identify with animals, but that is too complicated phenomenon to explain adequately here). None of that is really true. Are there pedos in the fandom? Are there zoos? Yes and yes. But they are not the norm and there are more pedos and zoos in the general population than in the fandom. What happens is that conservatives seek bad actors within the fandom and say that they are examples of what the fandom is all about. This is called "the hasty generalization fallacy" and is the argument that most furry haters make. I can do the same thing to a Jehovah's Witness. A quick google results in these stories about Jehovah's Witnesses and child abuse:
Not only are there multiple cases of child abuse, but Jehovah's Witnesses have been accused of covering it up multiple times (similar to the Catholic Church covering up pedophilia among their priests). According to a Wikipedia article: In some cases, members of Jehovah's Witnesses have been prevented or deterred from reporting child molestation to civil authorities. Particularly since around 2000, the Jehovah's Witnesses organization has been accused of covering up cases of child molestation committed by its members. In March 2001, Christianity Today printed an article reporting allegations that Jehovah's Witnesses' policies made reporting sexual abuse difficult for members, and did not conform to typical treatment of such cases. The article also included a response by representatives of Jehovah's Witnesses. The Australian Royal Commission heard that an elder discouraged an abuse victim from going to the Commission by saying, "Do you really want to drag Jehovah's name through the mud?" In Ireland in 2016, two Jehovah's Witness elders were removed from their positions as punishment for reporting a child molester to the police after the London Branch legal department told them not to. The BBC reported allegations of a cover-up in July 2002, in an episode of Panorama entitled "Suffer the Little Children." The report revealed that the headquarters of Jehovah's Witnesses, the Watch Tower Society, requires all congregations to submit details of child abuse allegations and maintains an internal database on all cases of child abuse reported to them. It described one case where a child came forward to the elders of her congregation to report sexual abuse by her father, but was sent home, despite their having known for three years that her father was an abuser. When the girl eventually went to the police, her father was convicted and sentenced to five years in prison. According to Witness spokesman J. R. Brown, Jehovah's Witnesses are not required to report crimes to elders before calling civil authorities. Victims and their families are free to call police, he said, although some don't choose to. The Watch Tower Society maintains a policy with no explicit requirement for elders to report all child abuse cases where such is not required by law. Elders are instructed to "leave matters in Jehovah's hands" if an abuser denies the accusations and there is no second witness available The point is that if a Jehovah's Witness declares furries are zoos and immoral and gives one or two examples, it is very simple to give LOTS of examples of JWs being immoral. This can be done on an individual basis, too. For example, there's this guy on YouTube named Richard Lorenzo Jr., a self-declared Jehovah's Witness, who posted this video called "The Shocking Dark Truth about the Furry Community" in which he says we are zoos and that we are trying to "convert" children to the dark immoral side. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjjCBk-F1bA&t=400s What he does is take one video clip of one furry confessing they are a zoo. If you continue to watch the rather lengthy video, you'll see how he tries to take advantage of vulnerable teens and convince them to convert to Christianity. This is a typical ploy among proselytizers. So, what can we do about that? Well, a 3-minute search on Mr. Lorenzo gives us this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=014rUVupyAU about what a fraud he is. You can literally find stuff about almost anyone or anything online to trash people and groups. Doesn't mean those people or groups are sinners, agents of evil, immoral, or criminals. I am going to say right here and now that I have no clue whether or not Richard Lorenzo Jr. is a good or a bad man. And I will also go out on a limb and say most Jehovah's Witnesses are probably good people (same with Catholics or any other group of people). The point is not to make broad generalizations about anyone based on a bloody google search. That's stupid. Same with the "I heard it on the internet" or "someone told me this in a chat room." Non-furries need to do likewise. Don't judge furries based on some garbage people are spreading online. I have been in this furry community for decades, and I can tell you that it is filled with wonderful people. The furry fandom is what you make of it. You can embrace it and love it, or you can trash it and use bad publicity to make money on your YouTube channel or get political contributions from ignorant parents of school children. Your choice. I apologize, Rusty, for using your letter to get on my soapbox and make a speech, but it needed saying. Okay, so that addresses the fear your parents may have that being in the community will hurt you. To continue, as you noted yourself, the furry community can actually help you. Time and time again, furries have told me how being a furry has given them more confidence, has helped them to socialize, and has made them many friends. I'm one of them. There are actually studies, too, that being a furry helps people with who are on the autism spectrum. And being a furry helps you to explore yourself as a person by giving you the freedom and inspiration to try new things. I talk some about the benefits in my fairly recent article that was also written to a Jehovah's Witness. Furry, as you attest yourself, makes you happy, and that is a good thing! It can help you make friends (also a good thing), help you with anxiety and depression, and also inspire creativity and imagination. Furries are also givers. They donate tens of thousands of dollars every year to charities (mostly through donations to sponsor charities at conventions). They also contribute to the economy (for example, big conventions like Anthrocon in Pittsburgh result in micro-booms in the local economy). There is nothing immoral about furry. There is even a Christian Furry group you can join if interested (and there are a couple of Christian groups on Telegram). I think it would be a good idea for you to contact one of those groups and ask them for a little help on discussing furry with your parents. Is being a furry different and unconventional? Yes, of course! That's what makes it exciting and fun, and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. Your father, especially, needs to get over his fear of people who are not ordinary. Remember, it is not the ordinary people who make a difference in the world. Dare to be extraordinary. Hope this helps! Papabear Dear Papabear,
How does one come out as furry? I am an older gay who has always wanted to be a furry. My generation never really accepted furry, to say the least. I have spent over 15 years wishing I could just be me and express what I truly want to be. I have been out mostly my whole life, but never able to express what I want to be to any of my partners or even now, my husband. It's hard trying to fit into the gay lifestyle much less trying to me something that makes you even more of an outcast. Today, I saw some vids of furry cons and other activities, and all I could do is cry. I just wish I knew how to be a part of something I never could admit is me. Dozer von Droolstein (age 50) * * * Dear Dozer, A good way to prepare for such an announcement is to surround yourself with supportive people, and I can't think of a better place for that for you than in my Silvermuzzle and Greymuzzle Facebook groups. If you don't have Facebook, there are graymuzzle (or greymuzzle) groups on other social media such as Discord, Furry Amino, and Telegram. It's funny, but I have received a number of letters like yours over the years, and it seems to be true that more people are uncomfortable coming out as furry than coming out gay. I suppose this is because in recent years being LGBTQIA+ has gained some (reluctant) acceptance in American society (still lagging behind western Europe, but getting there), while furries are still generally not accepted. Oh, we've made some strides forward, but the conservative backlash inflamed by the MAGA movement set us back a bit. Anyway, "coming out" furry is done rather the same way as coming out gay or lesbian or trans. To begin, you should first come out to those you trust with your feelings the most, which means to those who you feel accept you for you. Even if they find furry weird, they will support you and, hopefully, get used to the idea. This was the case with my husband, Michael. I told him early on in our relationship that I was a furry. Now, mind you, his daughter had already told him some negative things about Bronies, so when I told him I was a furry (he later confessed to me), he wondered if I was "safe" to be around (he has severe PTSD from being in active combat and can be nervous about things that aren't normal, and he had some bad ideas about Bronies thanks to his daughter). Anyway, I slowly got him used to the idea and started taking him to cons (he absolutely loves BLFC in Reno), and even adopted his own fursona (a dragon-bear hybrid) even though he really isn't a furry. He makes a real effort to support me and my work in the fandom. Other people may surprise you about being supportive. I never told my ex-wife about it, until she called me one day and asked if I was a furry. This seemed to come from out of the blue, but she had discovered the fact by googling my name one day. Anyway, I hemmed and hawed (I didn't think she'd like it) and finally admitted it, and she said she thought it was very cool and wondered why I hadn't told her before. Then there was my late husband, Jim, whom I told very early in our relationship and he accepted me right away. So, you never know. After you tell the people you are more comfortable with, you can start working on the ones you are a bit more iffy about. If they have never heard of furry, this will make it easier because they don't have any preconceptions, so you can give them an appropriate definition right from the start. What I usually do is explain that it is rather like people who cosplay as superheroes and such at comic-cons only we focus in particular on anthro-animal characters such as what you would find in Kung Fu Panda or Zootopia. Now, I don't know whether you're a hobbiest or a lifestyler furry at heart, but it is best to start such people off by explaining it as a hobby. The third group of people are the tough cases. These are the people with either incorrect, preconceived notions about furry ("oh, you want sex with animals"--um, no, that's zoophilia, dear) or are conservatives who believe Fox News-style nonsense such as we demand to have litter boxes in schools or that we bite people who displease us. I suspect this recent uptick in anti-furry sentiments is a symptom of the backlash against the trans community that we are seeing from religious and politically conservative people. In other words, such people conflate their antipathy for one group of unconventional people (trans) with another (furry) because of their fear and hatred for those who are different. Also, there are quite a few trans folk in the furry community, so it kind of gets combined at times. Hey, we're all queer in our own way, and normies don't like that. (Shhhh, mostly because they want to be odd, too, but are too afraid of normie society to do it, so they redirect that fear into hate; just one of those dumb psychological things that humans do). Anyway, you really are under no obligation to come out to closed-minded people, so don't worry about them (and be careful about work; some bosses can be very anti-furry, and I have heard of some furries being fired from their jobs after they are "found out" because there are no laws against furry discrimination). Now, you ARE lucky in that you are doing this at 50 rather than 12. It is much easier to tell people you are furry in middle age than when you are dependent on judgmental, controlling parents or navigating the hostile hallways of a school building. Since you are, I assume, financially independent, you can go about your way as you please. That's a good thing. You know, there are two big reasons why the furry fandom has so many LGBTQIA people in it (as well as those on the autism spectrum and with social anxiety issues in general): one is that they are trying to find an accepting community, and the other is that furry helps them express the real them that is inside. Being furry and participating in the fandom can be very therapeutic. In fact, there are studies that show it helps people with autism. Becoming active in the fandom can therefore not only help you find yourself as a furry but also as a gay man. You will find a LOT of supportive people and--I guarantee it--make many new friends. So, go ahead and start telling the important people in your life who love you like your husband. Then be prepared to answer any and all questions they may have. It might be a little unnerving at first, but you will feel so much better when you do, and you may even be pleasantly surprised by the reactions you get. Good Luck! Hope to see you joining one of my Facebook groups soon! Papabear Dear Papabear:
My 11-year-old brother has come out to me as a gay furry. I was pretty taken aback, I won’t lie, but I tried to be supportive/encouraging and thanked him for confiding in me. But I’m worried about his safety in the furry community, which I am completely unfamiliar with but concerned about since he is only 11 years old and has put his username as "boy kisser" on some furry website. I am worried about bad people within the community taking advantage of him. He’s at a vulnerable age and has unlimited internet access pretty much 24/7 and my parents don’t see that as an issue. I also don’t want to out him to them in case they make him feel alienated from his hobby and/or his sexuality. It’s not my job to parent him, but how do I talk to him about safety within the furry community? How do I talk to my parents to ensure they take his safety seriously whilst being understanding of his hobby? Kind Regards, Sera (age 21) * * * Dear Sera, You are a good sister. Although, yeah, you're not his mom, older siblings often work as surrogate parents. You are not obligated to be his parent, but you're doing great as an older sibling. Anyway, when it comes to supervision, that's on your parents. And it isn't just about the furry community. Being online in general--furry or not--can be dangerous for kids who are as young as your brother (or older, too, honestly). There are all kinds of criminal, unsavory, bullying, and harmful people out there. Yes, there are definitely some in the furry community (mostly, I believe, these are pedos and other nasties who aren't really furry but they infiltrate the community to prey on vulnerable innocent kids, often luring them with porn). I do recommend you talk to your parents, reminding them that unsupervised access to the internet leaves your brother vulnerable to predators, cyberbullies, and pedos (this is regardless of his being a furry and gay). Your parents are not alone in shirking their responsibilities in this area. As this PR Newswire story explains, about half of all American parents do not supervise their kids. That is a big mistake. Would your parents let your 11-year-old brother walk down a dark alley in a city with porn shops and adult video arcades? I doubt they would. The internet is the same thing. Make a wrong turn and you're in a dark place where you are in danger even though you're sitting at a desk, warm and comfy in your own home (see https://www.familyorbit.com/blog/the-risks-of-unsupervised-internet-access-for-kids-and-teens/). Some resources you can recommend for them include:
In summation, the important issue here is keeping your brother safe. I know you're worried about outing him as gay or a furry, but that is really secondary. Honestly, at 11 years old, your brother is still exploring who he is, so we shouldn't draw any conclusions about that. It is important that parents perform a balancing act between keeping their kids safe yet allowing them to grow as people and not restricting them so much that they feel like they are being punished or that their mom and dad don't like them. It's hard! Being a parent is hard! But they need to try their best. Finally, here is an editorial I wrote about the whole issue: https://www.askpapabear.com/letters/my-final-word-on-minors-in-the-fandom. Thank you for being a caring sister. Write again if you need to, and I promise I will respond more quickly now that I have recovered from the holidays. Bear Hugs, Papabear Papabear,
I'm an artist, and I love to create and draw my fursonas on my computer, usually with the help of free ref sheets, but lately I've realized that my dad has been going on my computer to see what I've been working on, and to make sure I don't have any games or anything bad installed. This would be fine, but I have a feeling that my dad would NOT approve of my being a furry. I've been hiding it for over a year now, because I'm pretty sure if he found out, he would disown me, or at least punish me. I've been pretty good at hiding it, but I'm worried that if he keeps checking my computer like this, he might find my fursonas and get mad. I don't know what to do. If I ask him not to look through my art, might get suspicious, but if I do nothing, he might stumble upon it anyway. Please help. I don't know what to do. Pip the Pesky Bird (age 14) * * * Dear Pip, The problem goes deeper than the art on your computer. This is about trust. Now, your dad has a perfect right to monitor your computer behavior, but he did so by sneaking behind your back to do it. At the same time, you were hiding what you were drawing regarding furry stuff. The first thing you and your dad need to do, therefore, is to rebuild the trust between you. Here is a nice article from the Boys and Girls Club of America on ways to build trust. Basically, what it advocates is open, honest communication. Working on expressing your needs and desires. Both you and your parent need to be able to do this because without trust you are creating a path toward miscommunication, hurt feelings, and a broken relationship. I understand that you are afraid about revealing your furriness, but you are not doing anything bad such as drawing porn. Your father likely does not have an accurate mental image of furries, especially these days with all those ridiculous falsehoods about cat litter boxes in schools. Your job is to communicate to him why you enjoy drawing furries and what furry means to you. At the same time, tell him you want everything out in the open and he is free to monitor what you do on the phone and computer. You also want him to ask you any questions and to feel free that you can ask HIM questions about anything. Assume your dad already knows what you are doing. Apologize that you have been a bit secretive about it, but tell him why you have. He will not disown you. And punishing you would be stupid. I mean, has he ever forbidden you to draw furry stuff? If he forbade you to do something and you did it anyway, he might justify a punishment, but if he never said don't do it, he has no grounds to punish you. Most parents fear their kids doing furry stuff because they are ignorant of what furry is and believe what the idiotic media tells them. On the other paw, once parents understand that furry is no worse than, say, playing World of Warcraft, most parents are okay with it. The key is to alleviate your dad's fears. Being secretive is a red flag that you know you are doing something wrong (even if you aren't), and your dad isn't stupid. He picks up on stuff like that. So, once again, the key is to be honest. And honesty goes both ways. Remember, your dad loves you and wants to protect you. If he didn't, he wouldn't care what you did on the computer. Talk to Dad. Good Luck, Papabear Dear Papabear,
My brother (17) found the Furry Fandom last year, and my dad was fine with it, and my mom is kinda freaked out by it, and she has told me this but not my brother. I, on the other hand, have always been an advocate for how great and positive the Furry Fandom is and my brother has been really happy for that. My brother loved the Fandom so much I actually owe it to him that I became a Furry because I wanted to see what exactly about it made it so great. Looking back, I think the signs have always been there, and it feels nice to find a place I feel like I belong. Now here's where my problem is I'm really embarrassed to tell my brother I'm a Furry because he might think I'm just trying to copy him or trying to make fun of him or that I'm ruining something special to him. I do want to tell him, though, because I feel like there is a lot of good memories we can make together doing something we both love. So here is my question: How do I tell my brother I'm a Furry, especially since I don't want to hurt my relationship with him or my mom if she finds out, too? Anyway, thanks so much for your time and would be very grateful if you could help. Logan (age 15) * * * Hi, Logan, Gosh, I would think your brother would be very happy that his sibling is also a furry and that they could share their furry experiences together. Why would you think otherwise? Are there instances in the past where he thought you were trying to imitate him? Younger siblings sometimes do have a rivalry. When I was little, I would follow my older sister around and try to do stuff with her, which kind of irritated her. She is three years older than I am. Your brother is two years older, which isn't a huge difference, but in the teen years it can seem like it. I don't know your brother, obviously, but most furries are excited to have a family member who is also a furry and understands why they love it. I would go ahead and tell him. IMHO it should be a bonding experience between the two of you, and will likely become even more so as you get older. Let me know how it goes. Bear Hugs, Papabear * * * Dear Papabear, I did it. I told my brother I was a furry, and I didn't make a big deal out of it, so neither did he. I am a little bit of an artist, so I offered to do some art for him, and he was pretty happy. Thank you so much for your advice. It really helped me work up the courage to tell him. Sincerely, Logan Letters to this column have been on the decline, most likely because I can't afford much advertising right now, but the majority of the letters I do get have been from kids who all ask, in various ways, the same question: "I'm a furry and am afraid to tell my parents/friends/family." I don't post such letters and my responses because it's repetitive and doesn't add to the column. Past columns regarding "coming out furry" can be found here.
When I first started writing this column, my position on young furries (under 16) joining in the fandom was very different from what it is today. Back then, I basically encouraged kids to be furry, telling them a number of ways to broach the subject with their family and try to get them on board, or, if their family still didn't support their furriness, that they should still be furry but keep it quiet until they were adults and could make their own choices. While I did stress to such letter writers that the furry fandom was conceived as a social group for adults and not children and that they should be careful where they go online, I still saw the fandom as an exercise in creative imagination that is important for children and that could be healthy for them, so, I erred on the side of saying they should be secret furries. That was wrong of me. That was 10 years ago. Even then, there were dangers in the fandom for children, but these days I feel it is a much more sketchy world. In allowing their children to be furries, parents need to make one of two choices: either allow them to participate while being supervised continuously (monitor their internet and phone behavior and go with them to furcons or furmeets) or tell their kids that this is an adult fandom not intended for children and they will not allow their kids to participate any more than they would allow their kids to watch porn sites (parents need to give a clear explanation and not just say, "Because I told you not to.") Parents, I must stress, not only have the right but also the responsibility to supervise and protect their children. Good parents stay involved in their kids' lives. But this means more than just saying "yes" or "no" to their children. Communication and involvement are essential. Parents, if your kids want to be furry and they are, say, 10 or 12 years old, you should know that they aren't looking for sex and porn. Many of your kids write to me and emphasize that they know there is X-rated stuff online but that they just want to have a fursona and a fursuit. They are enamored by anthropomorphic animals. You need to understand that watching cartoons or movies like Turning Red sparks their imaginations and feelings of playfulness. Wanting to dress up as a fox or Husky is just creative play, not anything evil, anti-Christian, or nefarious. So, if you wish to ban your children from the fandom, that is understandable. But, at the same time, you should also come to understand their interest in anthro characters. Play with your kids. Maybe even help them make a costume (fursuit), read them classic anthro stories such as The Wind in the Willows or Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH or Redwall and share with them their explorations into stories and fiction. This is healthy, believe it or not, and not enough parents do it. Kids, if you are underage, Papabear understands you aren't into the fandom because of porn. You just want to play pretend. I get it. But you need to understand that the online community can be dangerous. You might think you know, but you don't. Even adult furries can face attacks by some quite nasty furs on the internet. While most furries are good people, if you aren't prepared for what might happen, you could become a victim of pedophiles or worse. The furry fandom can be a wonderful place--and it usually is (it's not about furporn, which, while it is out there, is not the purpose of the fandom at all)--but you need to be careful. While working with Tim Stoddard on his upcoming book, Furtannia, I learned that in England the furries do not permit minors to attend furcons and meets. In fact, the idea of allowing kids into such functions is bizarre to them. In America, where we have become very permissive of people's desires and privileges, we have perhaps gone too far and no longer recognize that not all things are for children. The bottom line is this: The Furry Fandom is an adult fandom that looks like it is for children, and that can be a potentially dangerous combination for you cubs out there. Papabear does not recommend an active involvement in the fandom--especially online--for anyone under the age of 16 without parental supervision. But this doesn't mean you cubs can't do furry stuff. After all, the main reason we older furries love the fandom so much is to share our interest in movies, TV shows, novels, and comic books with anthropomorphic characters. You can still do that. And you can write stories and maybe make your own fursuit, too. Parents, stop stressing about whether or not your kids are getting A's and are going to integrate into "normal society." Imagination and creativity should be encouraged and not suppressed. Don't call your kids "weird" or worse because of their interest in furries. They're just trying to be playful. You should try to remember, perhaps, what play is and how healthy it is for mind, heart, and soul. Above all else, parents and their kids need to talk to one another. Parents, don't just "lay down the law" and forbid them from being furry; kids, don't try to hide your furriness and be sneaky with your phone and online behavior because, believe me, your parents will find out and then you will damage their trust in you. Being furry can have many benefits for children. For example, parents, did you know that being a furry can help kids with Autism Spectrum Disorder? It's true! Watch this video for more. Even more, being in the furry fandom can foster skills such as drawing, writing, sartorial skills (sewing is a valuable skill!), and even computer programming and the digital arts. On a less technical side, being furry often is a side effect of a person's love of animals and nature. These days, kids can feel very distanced from Nature, and caring about domestic animals and wildlife can be good for them. So, there can be many academic and social benefits. As with anything in the modern world, being a furry can be complicated. There are both good and (some) bad things about it. As kids, you need to be aware of the dangers; as parents, you have the right to protect your kids, but don't be lazy about it by just saying "No." Get more involved in your children's lives. Find out why they like furries. Ask questions. And let them be kids. Being a parent is hard, no question, but it can be much more rewarding if you connect to your kids rather than just regulating their lives. Questions? Feel free to write me and I am happy to answer anything you would like to ask! Bear Hugs, Papabear Papabear,
I have not told my family that I'm a furry and that I'm transgender. It is hard these days, with all the bad thing about us, but I get by. But I'm very scared, and I do not know what to do. I try to sneak it in, but some people are just stupid. I just feel like my own kind are the only ones that get me. I just want to be loved for who I am without hiding who I am. (Oh, and I have not changed genders just yet, so I'm still a boy.) I just do not want to hate who I am. I want to embrace it because it is me. Do you think you can help me? I also would like it if you can share what you say to others like me. Thank you in advance. Oh, and I believe we need, as a furry community, to stop the false information and hateful things like the uwu and judgement on us. Sorry if I'm oversharing to you; it is just that I have so much to say. Thank you. Ivy Black (age 14) * * * Dear Ivy, Although we're dealing with two things here--being furry and being transgender--it is possible that they are related. Before I get into your specific situation, please indulge me as I talk about a topic of importance that may or may not have to do with you (it popped into my head because of your comment about not wanting to hate yourself). The issue here that Papabear has been hearing about and learning about more and more has to do with body dysmorphia (or, more formally, Body Dysmorphic Disorder). This is a fancy term for not liking your own body. Related to this is gender dysmorphia, or not liking the gender you currently inhabit. According to the Mayo Clinic: "Signs and symptoms of body dysmorphic disorder include:
This is a vital question to ask, investigate, and answer before you continue on your life journey. At 14, you are, of course, in puberty, and you are being filled with a lot of hormones and emotions. It is important not to make any rash decisions now that will affect your entire life in a very powerful way and that you might regret later on. I'm glad you have not had any surgical procedures yet. You should really hold off on those for a few more years (and despite what some people have written me, I happen to know there are some clinics that perform sex-reassignment surgeries on kids under 16, so, readers, please do not write to me about that). Anyway, the same might be said for some furries (and, I think, for people who describe themselves as lycanthropes, therianthropes, and otherkin). I know it is true for yours truly, for if there were a medical procedure available that would turn me into a bear, I honestly think I would consider it (I don't regard myself as a werebear, though). A lot of furries feel that having fur, tails, snouts, etc. are beautiful and they would be happy to look more like an anthro. Alas, it is not to be. Before any of us pursue physical or hormonal therapies, I think it would benefit anyone to stop for a moment and consider working on body acceptance. Too often, we allow ourselves to be beaten down by what others say about our appearance to the point that we hate how we look. This often involves fat-shaming, but can include everything from height, hair, facial features, musculature, skin color, teeth, etc. etc. For example, I am fair-skinned, always have been, because I'm a semi-ginger and I freckle but don't tan. As a kid in Van Nuys, California, I was mocked all the time for not being bronze-skinned. At summer camp, they called me "Caspar the Friendly Ghost." This hurt a lot to the point I was constantly trying to tan and, instead, ended up burning myself to the point of getting blisters. Not good. Eventually, I woke up to the fact that I was hurting myself because of a bunch of shallow idiots. Don't follow my lead. Don't listen to others. I am, admittedly, using your letter as a jumping-off-place to discuss the important point that we need to learn body acceptance. Obviously, only a small number of furries really have body dysmorphia, and most trans people want to get surgery for their own, not others', reasons. I just urge caution, especially for those who are still going through puberty. You can do a lot of damage to your body if you go through hormone therapy before your body can handle it. Hormone therapy side effects can include heart disease, certain cancers, liver damage, blood clots, stroke, and dangerous drops or increases in blood pressure. Genital surgery (vaginoplasty, in your case) can sometimes have unpleasant complications, too, including difficulty with urination and the formation of fistulas, which might lead to feces being excreted from the newly constructed vagina. Needless to say, this can adversely affect one's love life as well as one's physical and mental health. I'm writing the above not to freak you out but to make sure you are aware of all the dangers. Depending on the source, anywhere between 1% and 8% of those who underwent surgery decided to detransition, but even this is not always successful. On the more optimistic side, this means that as many as 99% are happy with the results. Last word: be absolutely certain this is right for you before pursuing surgery or hormone therapy. That's all I'm really saying here. Okay, with all that aside (whew! and sorry!) let's get into the broader issue of acceptance. I will definitely say that, in this bear's experience, the furry fandom is tremendously accepting of transexual and transgender people. Indeed, two of the four Good Furry Award winners are transexuals, and people win that award by being nominated and voted on by the furry community. Another way, therefore, that your transgender and furry desires are related would be exactly what you said in your letter: seeking to find acceptance for being yourself. Of the two subjects, I think the one to address first is your being transgender. It is important to note that there is a difference between saying "I am transgender" and "I am a transexual." Transgender is an umbrella term used for anyone who feels that their gender is not in alignment with the sex they were born with. For example, a male born with, obviously, a penis and scrotum feels inside himself that he is really a female. This is not limited to just female and male genders but can encompass the many and wide variety of genders being defined today, including intersex, gender fluid, gender nonconforming, androgynous, bygender, neutrois, and on and on. Transexual is a much narrower category that falls within transgender (that is, all transexuals are transgender but not all transgender people are transexual). Although the definition I'm about to give has been starting to change, for purposes of this discussion we will define transexual as someone who has finished or commenced with a medical procedure for sexual reassignment. It sounds to me that you have correctly identified yourself as transgender and that you are considering becoming transexual (the above is for the benefit of my other readers). You have every right to be yourself and to be accepted as yourself. You shouldn't have to hide who you are from your family and friends. When it comes to friends, the good news is you can pick and choose. Pick the people who support you to be your friends, and anyone who does not support you is not really a friend, so don't worry about them. You don't need them in your life and you do not need their validation. Family is more of a challenge. You can't pick your blood, so if they don't accept you, you're still kind of stuck with them, especially at your age when you're still a dependent. You don't say anything about your family, so this is a bit hard for me to gauge. Parents and other relatives can run the gamut from unsupportive, judgmental, and strict to loving, supportive, and flexible. The Planned Parenthood website has some solid advice on coming out trans to family, and they also note some other helpful and supportive organizations such as GLAAD. Be prepared to educate your family as to what being transgender really means to you, and be able to answer their questions. Most fears people have about something like transgender people stem from the fact that they are simply ignorant and have a lot of wild ideas that are incorrect. If your parents are religious, another good resource is Rainbow Ark, which offers support to LGBTQIIA+ furries from religious families. Ignorance of the facts is also a problem for those who criticize or are fearful of the furry fandom. For them, a good documentary to watch is Ash Coyote's The Fandom. It gives a good enough overview of the fandom, what it is, its history, in a way that is not threatening to normies. There are other documentaries out there, too, but this one is an hour and a half and free. The way to fight judgment and negativity about transgender people and furries is the same: education. The more people understand something, the less likely it is that their imaginations and fears will run wild. The more people like your peers and your family understand you, the less you should be afraid of opening up to them. When you conceal your identity and shamefully keep things hidden away, people sense that. You aren't fooling your parents, for example. They know something is going on with you, though they might not understand exactly what. You can alleviate their fears by calmly opening up to them. Educate them. Answer their questions. You aren't doing anything for which you should be ashamed. So, don't be ashamed. Perhaps not all people will "get you" or accept you, but that's their problem, not yours. And you might be very surprised by how many people do accept you once you open up to them. Sorry for the long reply. I haven't written back to anyone in a while and had a lot to get out LOL. I certainly hope this is helpful. Please feel free to write again if you have more questions. Bear Hugs, Papabear Dear Papabear,
Hi. 13 year old new furry here. I want to ask my dad if I can get a fursuit. He already knows I'm a furry from snooping on my computer and discord. I don't really know too much of how he feels about it. I also want to attend my local furry con in June. I am really struggling with this new liking. I also want to make friends with furries, but my dad recently made me completely log out of discord and other forums for (reasons) that I will not share here. I hope someone can help me out here! Victor (age 13) * * * Dear Victor, Your father is trying to protect you from porn, of which there is a lot on furry websites, as you likely know. At 13, you are too young for such things. The furry fandom was created for adults, not children, but these days a lot of kids as young as 10 are discovering the fandom. It is attractive to them because it relates to many of the cartoons and animated movies young people enjoy watching, and the idea of becoming an anthro animal character can have a lot of appeal to the young imagination. If you wish to continue exploring your furriness, Papabear's advice to you is that you stop hiding your internet and phone behavior and have an honest discussion with Dad because, at the tender age of 13, you are not going to be able to attend a furcon without his cooperation and support. You are likely going to have a tough time of this, honestly, because it sounds like you have been looking at furporn and possibly indulging in other unsavory behavior. Furcons will only allow underage furries to attend if they are accompanied by a parent or guardian. You can't just go by yourself or with a friend. So, for you to get a fursuit (are you paying yourself or asking Dad to buy it, which will be even harder?) and go to a con, you are going to have to reestablish your connection with Dad. Indeed, you will need a verbal agreement with him to do the following: NOT look at furporn or engage in X-rated roleplay online and be completely transparent with your online and phone activities with Dad (no more hiding what you do; Dad must have complete access to your browser history and more). You will then need time to repair your relationship so that Dad trusts you to be honest with him. Seeing that this is January and the con is in June, I seriously doubt you can fix this in time for the next local furcon. That said, all hope is not lost. With a lot of work and love, you may be able to get Dad on your side again. You can do this by discussing the fandom openly with him and by showing him such things as the documentary The Fandom by Ash Coyote, which is available free on YouTube here. Good Luck! Papabear |
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A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.
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