People in Glass Houses Shouldn't Throw Stones, Part 1

[Papabear Note: This is going to be my first in a two-part editorial/correspondence regarding the accusations often levied against furries. Traditionally, furries go on the defensive when faced with such criticism. Well, it's time to go on offense (at the risk of being offensive!)]

Dear Papabear,

I have a problem.

To start off, I found the Furry fandom about 8 months back when I was aimlessly skipping around the Internet. It just popped up in front of me, I looked it up, and … I fell in love with it. To me, the idea of furry was this perfect blend of imagination and wonder — something I’d always loved and, unknown to me at the time, always found refuge in. It turned my world on its ear to know that there were people out there that like this ‘outlandish’ concept as much as I do. But now, I’m scared.

You see, I want to tell people I know about this, but I’m terrified of being judged. I am one of the Jehovah’s Witnesses and, with how the fandom’s portrayed, I don’t know if people will believe me or what they hear. I know I need to tell my parents (who are Jehovah’s Witnesses, too), yet I’m scared of what they will do. I love my parents, and I don’t want to hurt them by getting involved in something that they’ll believe will hurt me, but I don’t want to lose it. It’s been such a big part of me for as long as I can remember, and I don’t want to have to throw it all away — I love it. I’ve read how you responded to a similar situation, but it’s more than that.

I have not been in my right mind for a long time now. I suffer from depression and some form or another of mental instability. It’s terrible and tears me in half, but furry helps.  I don’t feel so horrid if I think about something furry or saw something furry earlier that day. I (for the most part) feel better than I have in a long time, but I can’t tell my father that furry things help me, he won’t accept it. (He’s not the kind to believe in something that isn’t quite traditional.) I don’t have any friends and it is hard to talk to people, but there, too, furry helps me.

So, above all, how do I show my parents all the good things that being a furry does for me without them thinking that I’m going astray morally or spiritually?

Uncertainly,
Rusty K. (age 16)

* * *

Dear Rusty,

Typically, when I receive a letter such as yours about being scared to tell parents one is a furry, it is because said parents are religious. The more religious they are, the worse it is, with the most problematic sects being Evangelicals, Southern Baptists (Baptists and Evangelicals being pretty much the same, but not all Evangelicals are Baptists by any means), and, lately, Jehovah Witnesses. I also get letters from Middle Eastern furries on occasion, and it's pretty safe to assume (though they usually don't mention it) that their parents are Muslims.

Lately, I have received several letters from kids whose parents are Jehovah's Witnesses. Because their parents are JW's, they say they are too, which is typical for that young age to simply follow your parents' examples. On the spectrum of conservative-to-liberal religious denominations, JW's are on the very conservative side (FYI, the more liberal religions and denominations include Unitarian Universalists, Reformed Jews, the African Methodist Episcopal Church, the United Church of Christ, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, Presbyterians, Methodists, and United Church of Christ). In addition to Reformed and Conservative Judaism, the more liberal non-Christian religions are Wicca (definitely), Buddhists (although technically more a philosophy than a religion), and Baha'i (socially liberal but morally conservative). Wicca, by the way, is the fastest growing religion in the United States :)

Politically and/or religiously conservative people such as your parents typically pick out bad examples in the fandom and then generalize those bad examples to "prove" that all furries are bad. They also pick up on false news (e.g., the completely false rumor started by Republicans for political reasons that furries demand cat litter boxes in school bathrooms) and believe it as if it were Gospel.

What you're likely afraid of is that you will tell your Jehovah's Witness parents you are a furry, then they will go online, discover negative stories, and then lose their love or respect for you. You usually see stuff like "furries are pedos or zoophiles" or that they "want to be animals" (well, many do identify with animals, but that is too complicated phenomenon to explain adequately here).

None of that is really true. Are there pedos in the fandom? Are there zoos? Yes and yes. But they are not the norm and there are more pedos and zoos in the general population than in the fandom. What happens is that conservatives seek bad actors within the fandom and say that they are examples of what the fandom is all about. This is called "the hasty generalization fallacy" and is the argument that most furry haters make.

I can do the same thing to a Jehovah's Witness.

A quick google results in these stories about Jehovah's Witnesses and child abuse:

• https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/asia_pacific/jehovahs-witnesses-face-child-sex-abuse-investigation-in-australia/2015/08/14/d8a58eda-406e-11e5-9561-4b3dc93e3b9a_story.html
• https://www.wtaj.com/news/regional-news/former-cambria-county-man-others-charged-in-sex-abuse-of-19-children-ag-shapiro-announced/
• https://www.levylaw.com/jehovah-s-witness-sex-abuse-lawsuits/
• There are many more of these stories, but I'm not going to list them all. Just google "Jehovah's Witnesses child abuse" and you'll get a lot of search results.

Not only are there multiple cases of child abuse, but Jehovah's Witnesses have been accused of covering it up multiple times (similar to the Catholic Church covering up pedophilia among their priests). According to a Wikipedia article:

In some cases, members of Jehovah's Witnesses have been prevented or deterred from reporting child molestation to civil authorities. Particularly since around 2000, the Jehovah's Witnesses organization has been accused of covering up cases of child molestation committed by its members. In March 2001, Christianity Today printed an article reporting allegations that Jehovah's Witnesses' policies made reporting sexual abuse difficult for members, and did not conform to typical treatment of such cases. The article also included a response by representatives of Jehovah's Witnesses. The Australian Royal Commission heard that an elder discouraged an abuse victim from going to the Commission by saying, "Do you really want to drag Jehovah's name through the mud?" In Ireland in 2016, two Jehovah's Witness elders were removed from their positions as punishment for reporting a child molester to the police after the London Branch legal department told them not to.

The BBC reported allegations of a cover-up in July 2002, in an episode of Panorama entitled "Suffer the Little Children." The report revealed that the headquarters of Jehovah's Witnesses, the Watch Tower Society, requires all congregations to submit details of child abuse allegations and maintains an internal database on all cases of child abuse reported to them. It described one case where a child came forward to the elders of her congregation to report sexual abuse by her father, but was sent home, despite their having known for three years that her father was an abuser. When the girl eventually went to the police, her father was convicted and sentenced to five years in prison.

According to Witness spokesman J. R. Brown, Jehovah's Witnesses are not required to report crimes to elders before calling civil authorities. Victims and their families are free to call police, he said, although some don't choose to. The Watch Tower Society maintains a policy with no explicit requirement for elders to report all child abuse cases where such is not required by law. Elders are instructed to "leave matters in Jehovah's hands" if an abuser denies the accusations and there is no second witness available

​​The point is that if a Jehovah's Witness declares furries are zoos and immoral and gives one or two examples, it is very simple to give LOTS of examples of JWs being immoral. This can be done on an individual basis, too.

For example, there's this guy on YouTube named Richard Lorenzo Jr., a self-declared Jehovah's Witness, who posted this video called "The Shocking Dark Truth about the Furry Community" in which he says we are zoos and that we are trying to "convert" children to the dark immoral side. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjjCBk-F1bA&t=400s What he does is take one video clip of one furry confessing they are a zoo. If you continue to watch the rather lengthy video, you'll see how he tries to take advantage of vulnerable teens and convince them to convert to Christianity. This is a typical ploy among proselytizers.

So, what can we do about that? Well, a 3-minute search on Mr. Lorenzo gives us this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=014rUVupyAU about what a fraud he is.

You can literally find stuff about almost anyone or anything online to trash people and groups. Doesn't mean those people or groups are sinners, agents of evil, immoral, or criminals. I am going to say right here and now that I have no clue whether or not Richard Lorenzo Jr. is a good or a bad man. And I will also go out on a limb and say most Jehovah's Witnesses are probably good people (same with Catholics or any other group of people). The point is not to make broad generalizations about anyone based on a bloody google search. That's stupid. Same with the "I heard it on the internet" or "someone told me this in a chat room."

Non-furries need to do likewise. Don't judge furries based on some garbage people are spreading online. I have been in this furry community for decades, and I can tell you that it is filled with wonderful people. The furry fandom is what you make of it. You can embrace it and love it, or you can trash it and use bad publicity to make money on your YouTube channel or get political contributions from ignorant parents of school children.

Your choice.

I apologize, Rusty, for using your letter to get on my soapbox and make a speech, but it needed saying.

Okay, so that addresses the fear your parents may have that being in the community will hurt you. To continue, as you noted yourself, the furry community can actually help you. Time and time again, furries have told me how being a furry has given them more confidence, has helped them to socialize, and has made them many friends. I'm one of them. There are actually studies, too, that being a furry helps people with who are on the autism spectrum. And being a furry helps you to explore yourself as a person by giving you the freedom and inspiration to try new things. I talk some about the benefits in my fairly recent article that was also written to a Jehovah's Witness.

Furry, as you attest yourself, makes you happy, and that is a good thing! It can help you make friends (also a good thing), help you with anxiety and depression, and also inspire creativity and imagination. Furries are also givers. They donate tens of thousands of dollars every year to charities (mostly through donations to sponsor charities at conventions). They also contribute to the economy (for example, big conventions like Anthrocon in Pittsburgh result in micro-booms in the local economy). 

There is nothing immoral about furry. There is even a Christian Furry group you can join if interested (and there are a couple of Christian groups on Telegram). I think it would be a good idea for you to contact one of those groups and ask them for a little help on discussing furry with your parents.

Is being a furry different and unconventional? Yes, of course! That's what makes it exciting and fun, and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. Your father, especially, needs to get over his fear of people who are not ordinary. Remember, it is not the ordinary people who make a difference in the world.

Dare to be extraordinary.

Hope this helps!
Papabear​​