|
Dear Furiends,
As Papabear orbits the sun for his 60th time, I'm reflecting on all that has changed since I arrived on this planet in 1965. Here is a summary of life in America and the world at the time I was born . . . When I was born, The Beatles were at their height; Bob Dylan released "Like a Rolling Stone," and The Who released "My Generation"; miniskirts were the rage; Star Trek TOS had not even aired yet, but the pilot, "Where No Man Has Gone Before," was reworked and filmed in the version we know today; Frank Herbert published Dune; The Sound of Music is released, as is A Charlie Brown Christmas; JFK had been dead 2 years; but his presence was still felt in America; NASA had launched Gemini 3, the first multiperson spacecraft, Gemini 4, the first American spacewalk (astronaut Ed White), and Gemini 5, the first manned weeklong mission, Gemini 6 and 7 perform first rendezvous in space, Ranger 8 had scoped out the Moon for landing sites, Mariner 4 flies by Mars to give us our first close-up photos of the Red Planet, and the SNAP-10 became the first nuclear-powered spacecraft; meanwhile, Soviet cosmonaut Alexei Leonov performed the first spacewalk; women still didn't have the right to own a credit card without their husbands name on it, and we were 8 years away from Roe v. Wade still, but the SCOTUS ruled that the banning of contraceptives under Connecticut law was unconstitutional; also 4 years away was Stonewall, and anti-sodomy laws (really, anti-gay laws) were the rule in most states, although in 1961, Illinois had banned such laws, the first state to back off of homosexuality being illegal; in good news, the Voting Rights Act of 1965 had just been passed; Johnson signs the Social Security Act of 1965, which established Medicare and Medicaid for the first time; but Vietnam was an escalating nightmare, and the U.S. was criticized by the international community for using chemical weapons against the Vietcong; Muhammad Ali successfully argued against being drafted on the principle that he was a pacifist (kudos!); Johnson makes burning your draft card a crime punishable by 5 years in prison (the draft doesn't end until 1973); the Watts Riots cause civil unrest in the country for a week; President Johnson signed the Nationality and Immigration Act of 1965, which basically removed the restriction placed on allowing immigrants from entering the country from certain places, especially Asians and eastern and southern Europeans; Johnson also signs Executive Order 11246, banning employment discrimination based on race; he also signs the Motor Vehicle Air Pollution Control Act, the first federal law controlling car emissions; an 8.7 earthquake had devastated Alaska, and a 7.4 earthquake killed 500 people in Chile; Canada--get this!--had just adopted its maple leaf flag! The Cold War was getting nightmarish, with the USSR testing a nuclear weapon in Kazakhstan; in Alabama, Governor "Dickhead" Wallace, in his efforts to stop Dr. King's Selma to Montgomery march, approved what became Bloody Sunday, with cops beating the marchers with clubs and whips until they finally forced them to stop at the Edmund Pettus Bridge; in the tech and science world, the first magnetic video tape recorder to be commercially available to the public, the Ampex VRX-1000, was released; Arno Penzias and Robert Wilson at Bell Labs discovered cosmic microwave background radiation, solid evidence supporting the Big Bang Theory; the first portable defibrillator is used in Belfast; the first all-news channel, WINS 1010AM in New York, began broadcasting, and The Today Show became the first TV program broadcast via satellite; the first computer dating service is debuted by a joint MIT/Harvard University venture (so blame them); the first pushbutton telephone had come out only 2 years ago, and the first video game, Pong, would not come out by Atari until 1971. As you can see, life was very different. We made a lot of progress since the 1960s, but now much of that progress is being threatened by those who resent the strides in civil rights we have made. I often get nostalgic for the 60s and 70s, but as you can see, there was a lot of stuff that was not so great during those years, years that those born in the 21st century would feel like a totally different reality. The Trump Administration and Republicans want to take us back to a time before women's rights, immigration rights, LGBTQ rights, and more. As much as there was some cool stuff back in the 60s, such as with the music scene, I do not want to see 60 years of progress erased. Profound changes seem on the nearby horizon. Powerful countries like Russia and China appear to be imploding under the weight of their own corruption, but if we are not careful, the USA might follow their lead. While all this is going down, the furry community needs to stick together more than ever. We will inevitably find ourselves targets of the hate as part of the culture wars that the Republicans are waging to distract Americans from the fact that the rich are robbing the middle class into extinction. To help support the furry community, I have started a new group called Furries for Freedom. At the moment, it is only a Facebook group, but I will be starting a website soon and spreading to other social media. Our goal is to support the furry community, educate them on their rights, report on news related to our freedoms and rights, and to in general be there for those who need friends. Together, we can make it through this. Bear Hugs, Papabear
0 Comments
 Dear Furiends,
To all of those who will be spending their holidays and New Year with friends and family, you are blessed, and I wish you a wonderful Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Yule or whatever occasion you enjoy. But this message is for all of those who are lonely, sick, depressed, or broke this year. Papabear understands. This is a rough year for many, including me. I lost my sister and a good friend this year; I lost my dog, Ernie, last year. And it's hard to celebrate New Year's knowing that an insane, senile, narcissistic dictator will sit in the White House AGAIN in 2025. Anger and hostility and rabid nationalism are on the rise in America (encouraged and enflamed by the Orange Cancer), and it will affect the furry community in a bad way, guaranteed (which is why it pisses this bear off when furries attack their own fandom; we have enough trouble with the normies and don't need you to add to it). These are troubling times. Frankly, if you are succumbing to despair, I feel for you. To be honest, Christmas brings this bear little joy anymore. I sent out dozens of Christmas cards this year (as I do every year), and do you know how many I got? Five. And one of those was from my insurance guy. My sister has succumbed to alcoholism and has become a TERF, a hater, like so many in this country, and she has cut me out of her life and won't even talk to me. I also lost my dear friend, Dineegla Moose, just as he was getting ready to attend MFF, and earlier this year, we all lost Mark Merlino, a key founder of this fandom if not the man singly most responsible for its existence. I have decorated, and cooked, and spent a buttload of money on gifts as I do every Christmas, but there is little joy in it for me, I confess, and certainly no return on my efforts except for one gift under the tree from my hubby (the last person in my life who is really in my life), and I already know what it is ... so ... no surprises (but that's okay, my love). I'm feeling a lot of empathy for Ebenezer Scrooge, honestly. I miss the joy of my childhood Christmases so much that my heart aches, a past filled with family and cheesy Christmas decorations and cat and dog companions; a holiday of claymation TV shows and saccharine holiday specials; a time when I wasn't worried about inflation and my withering income's inability to meet expenses and global warming. If you're like me, you probably sometimes fantasize about giving Christmas the middle finger right up Santa's butthole. But here's the thing, my dear troubled readers. The world needs you not to give up. Because if we all give in to the dark monster of despair, we will never recover from this downward spiral we are currently in. This is why I still do what I do. It is why I continue this column; it is why I work on my Facebook groups for Greymuzzles and Silvermuzzles; it is why I run the Good Furry Awards; it is why I get up each morning and take care of my 76-year-old husbear and all his needs. That's what Santa does. He doesn't do his worldwide labors for plaudits and rewards. He does it because the world needs a little joy and wonder. So, I am asking all of you: Be like Santa. I know it's hard, but we need to step up when no one else will and keep the light on and the flames glowing and the noms baking in the oven. Because if we don't do it, who will? I'm not asking you to spend money and wrap a bunch of gifts. I'm asking you to be a good friend to others, whether these are family members or coworkers or classmates or dear pets. Give people hugs. Be polite to others. Give a parking spot in a crowded lot to someone else. Give someone a compliment on their appearance or something they have done. Tell a joke to lighten the mood. Share your cookies. Every little thing counts. Recently, I watched the movie Red One. If you haven't seen it, the center of the story is that Santa's chief ELF worker, Callum Drift (played by the endearing Dwayne Johnson) feels like retiring after about five centuries of service because all the humans around him seem petty and selfish and without Christmas spirit. Santa is then kidnapped by the Christmas Witch, Grýla (a figure from Icelandic folklore, in case you wondered), who believes, like Krampus, that the world would be a better place if all the nasty humans were punished instead of being given joy as Santa believes. Long story short, she is defeated (not a spoiler; it's a Christmas movie), and Callum regains his spirit of Christmas. A key to the defeat of the witch is Santa commanding his reindeer with the single word: KAVALAME! What the heck does kavalame mean? This is not really explained in the movie, but the word is a very clever device by the writers. Interestingly, it is not from Norse mythology (much of Christmas lore has northern European roots) but from Greek. Kavala was an important city in ancient Greece, and St. Nicholas was of Greek descent. More on point, though, is kavalame's connection to the Sanskrit word kavalam, meaning "only" and key to the phrase baba nam kavalam, meaning "only the name of the beloved," or more poignantly, "love is all there is." Or, as the Beatles sang, "All you need is love." Love defeats the nasties out there like Grýla and Krampus. For Christmas, dear readers, that is my gift to you: Love. I am entrusting it to you because it is a precious gift. It is also a magical gift because you can give it to others over and over and, like Willie Wonka's everlasting gobstopper, it never runs out. Because in the end, despite the crass commercialism of modern Christmas, the hordes of Christmas shoppers clogging the roads and malls, the political turmoil, the social unrest spread by the Convicted Felon Doofus "President," the wars and pollution and hate that seems all around us, there is one thing they can never steal from you, and that is the love in your heart. I love you furs. And I love this fandom. And as long as I have breath in my lungs and blood in my veins, I will be here for you if you need me. Yours in Bear Spirit, Papabear I am saddened that the majority of Americans prefer a white man with a record of tax evasion, molestation, fraud, criminality, and disloyalty to American ideals over a woman who is ethnic and has a clean record as an upstanding citizen. I anticipate there will be a lot of unpleasant days ahead of us, especially for women, LGBTQIA people, immigrants, and anyone else who is not a white male fake Christian in America.
If the results of this election are causing you stress, I understand 100%. If you want to talk about it, please feel free to write me any time and your letter will go to the top of my pile when it comes to this issue. Now more than ever, we furries need to stand together.  Mark Merlino (left) with husband Rod O'Riley, receiving the Good Furry Award Lifetime Achievement Award in 2022. A giant of the furry fandom passed away last night at his home in Garden Grove, California. Sy Sable (Mark Merlino) died with his husband, Rod O'Riley, by his side after battling Stage IV liver cancer that also led to his having a stroke.
It is impossible to exaggerate the importance of Mark's role in the fandom. Along with another late giant, Fred Patten (1940-2018), he founded the Cartoon/Fantasy Organization in 1977. The C/FO was primarily interested in bringing Japanese anime to America, but it also can be viewed as the precursor of the furry fandom because the Los Angeles chapter of the C/FO was the birthplace of furry. In 1982, he created Tiger's Den, the first BBS dedicated to furry. Next, he cofounded the first furry convention, Confurence, which had its first gathering in 1989 in Costa Mesa, California. When Confurence shut its doors in 2003, Mark started Califur the next year, which ran until 2018. Finally, Mark and Rod created the first and oldest furmeet in the world: The Prancing Skiltaire house party, which was based out of their home. When he wasn't working on conferences, Mark traveled to other conventions, giving talks about furry movies, TV, and the fandom in general. I am so fortunate that I was able to meet Mark on several occasions. It was at the Prancing Skiltaire in 2008 that I encountered my first fursuiter in person, and although I was already a furry by then, I was hooked after that. My dear friend Bart Swaim, took me to that furmeet, and it was also at that time that I met another important furry, Bob Hill (d. 2018), the first fursuiter. Mark was a kind, knowledgeable, generous, and sweet man. His passing is a great loss to the fandom, and he will be missed. [Update March 28, 2024] The memorial service for Sy Sable is now available on YouTube. Dear Readers,
I'd like to begin this year, if you will indulge me, with a little editorial on my thoughts about the fandom and being a furry in general. This year, Papabear will turn 59, which is the age that my late husbear, Jim, died, so you might imagine this is cause for reflection for me. Also, I am trying very hard to finish my book about the furry fandom, so it is a year for a couple of milestones for me. SO MUCH has changed in the fandom since I began researching my book way back in 2015! SO MUCH has changed since I started this advice column in 2012! Heck, so much has changed in general. I'm also thinking a lot about what furry means to me and where the fandom is going. In human society (at least, in the American society with which I am intimately familiar), we go through the following stages in life:
The above is a generalization, of course, but it is the basic pattern I see in our society. But what if we refused to follow that pattern? What if, after figuring out what the world is about (e.g., being a nice little cog in the Wheel of Society), we reject this paradigm, skip Phase 2, fast-forward Phase 3, and enjoy the self-actualization of Phase 4 from our 20s all the way until death? That, for me, is what the furry fandom is about in many ways: exploring the TRUE YOU through imaginative play and creativity, free from all the constraints that enslave the unhappy throngs that imprison most of the population. When Jim was still alive, we would go to cons together (he wasn't a furry, but he was very supportive just like my current husband, Michael). I think it was at MFF (c. 2011, I believe) when he made an observation that struck me as quite perceptive. "Kevin," he said, "these furries are an awful lot like the hippies in the Sixties." In other words, this isn't just a fandom, it's a countercultural movement. Admittedly, there are a lot of furries who just indulge in the fandom for its shock value and for something to do because "they're bored." I've heard quite a few young people say that. They are the kind of furries who leave the fandom when they eventually buy into Phase 2. For the rest of us, furry is a way to shed all those expectations, requirements, judgments, and rules imposed upon us by society. Being an anthro is the overt way of expressing rebellion for human ways, but internally we are also searching for secret doors to passages that will allow us to escape the predetermined molds into which we are expected to fit. This is why it is ironic when certain furries try to impose rules designed to judge whether or not you are a "real furry." This is totally counter to the spirit of the fandom, which is iconoclastic at its very core. Some of these gatekeepers are from the Old Guard (furries who've been around 30-40 years or so) who don't like how the fandom has changed. Well, it's OK for it to change. If it didn't, it would become stagnant and soon die. Some of these gatekeepers are newer to the fandom, but they impose "rules" in order to set themselves up as the "real furries" who are in charge and get to tell others what is right or wrong about the fandom. They usually seek power and influence because they are trying to hide their own low self-esteem by putting others down. Don't listen to either group. What makes the furry fandom different from all other fandoms is that it is the members of this fandom who determine its nature, not some TV or movie franchise, not some corporate entity like Paramount or Lucas Films or Disney, and not even some nonprofit organization. No. WE make the fandom what it is today, and WE will make it what it will be tomorrow. No rules. Just play. Play is important. Don't disregard the value of play. Avoid the people who want to take the play away. Changes in the fandom are accelerating exponentially. We can look forward to many developments as the fandom continues to grow, gets influenced by outside cultural changes, and finds new opportunities for expression through advancing technologies. By 2034 it might not even be recognizable compared to 2024. I know it has changed considerably since 2014, so I expect even greater changes in another 10 years. Here's the point (in case you were wondering): If you came to the fandom as a way to escape the doldrums and judgment of mainstream society and better express yourself; if you came here to find furiends like yourself; then don't worry about whether or not you fit in and what rules you must follow. You DO fit in and there are NO RULES except the ones you write for yourself. This fandom is for YOU not some verkokte gatekeeper. Oh, and BUCKLE UP! The next 10 years are going to be a WILD RIDE! Happy New Year! Papabear Dear Readers,
There are two statements I hear frequently from furries these days: It's either "The furry fandom is so accepting of everyone!" or else "The furry fandom is toxic!" The second statement is soon followed by the announcement: "I am leaving the fandom!" There are popular furry vloggers who have YouTube posts asserting one or the other view, and I see furries on Facebook complaining about the toxic fandom all the time. So, which is it? Is it time to hold each other's paws and sing "Kumbaya, My Lord!" or should we burn it all to the ground and dance on the fandom's withered and purulent corpse? I am writing this editorial today to answer that very question. Hold onto your tails; here we go.... Let's begin with furry conventions. I returned from Biggest Little Furcon in Reno just a few days ago. During the con (I wasn't witness to this, just heard about it), apparently one of the furry attendees (and furiends) ejaculated on a pizza and left it in the hallway. Then, for some reason, a witless passer-by saw the za and ate some of it. Naturally, word got out, and it spread like warm Skippy peanut butter over toast all over Twitter. Immediately, there were posts that this would be the end of BLFC for it would meet the same fate as Rainfurrest. There were also posts about how the fandom has been overrun by pervs and that it will inevitably implode. Game over. Of course, the people writing these posts were not at the con. I was, and I can tell you it was a super con, well run, and everyone had fun. The guests, the hotel staff, everyone. I talked to some of the staff and security and they all said it was great. Hotels deal with crime and guest misbehavior all the time. The primary problem is theft, but there have also been cases of rape, drugs, and property destruction. This brings me to the big difference between what happened at Rainfurrest vs. BLFC. Rainfurrest attendees caused a lot of property damage to the host hotel, costing the hotel thousands of dollars. The main problem with Rainfurrest was that the people who ran the convention were too permissive. While I never got the chance to attend that particular con, I talked with furries who did, and they told me that Rainfurrest had a very lax, party atmosphere that encouraged bad behavior and had been doing so for years. The result was inevitable. A badly run convention will eventually close. This is not the case with BLFC and many other fine furcons. In the case of the cummy pizza, the guilty party was confronted by hotel security and dealt with. Reno Area Anthropomorphic Arts and Recreations (RAAAR), the organization that runs BLFC, raised over $21,000 for its charity and is already planning the 2022 con, which will occur in the summer. I'm not sure what attendance was (they haven't released final figures yet), but I'm sure it was a couple thousand furries, a nice number that I'm sure the hotel appreciated. While I was at BLFC, one of the panels I attended was called "Why We Care about the Furry Fandom." It was run by Stigmata (Jonathan Vair Duncan) and Sasha R. Jones, two well-known artists of fantasy and furry art. The two talked for an hour about how being furry is about exploring your potential, coming out about who you really are inside, discovering things about your orientation and your spirituality, meeting new and interesting people, expanding your creativity, and so on. Their hyper-positive view of the fandom went so far as to discuss how furry is becoming an important social movement that is gaining acceptance in the normie world. This view is shared by many furries who feel that the fandom is a happy place where everyone gets along and accepts you for who you are. There is an element of truth to this--a big element, really--but it is not entirely accurate. If it were, we wouldn't be seeing all the claims about the "toxic" fandom. A good example of this is this YouTube video by BetaEtaDelota. While acknowledging that there is a lot good in the fandom, he goes on quite a bit about the issues in the fandom that are not addressed (mostly about furries attacking each other). Yes, there are issues, and they are not addressed. Know why? Because, unlike corporate-owned fandoms such as Whovians and Trekkers, there is no one in charge of the fandom. The furry fandom has no organizational structure. No formal membership. No club president. No supervising board of directors. It is an amorphous blob of people indulging in creating a fantasy world of anthro creatures. Therefore! How can bad behavior be controlled if no one is in charge, eh? Oh, sure, there are furries in charge of Facebook (meta?) groups who can control posts as I do for the Greymuzzle group, but overall the fandom is like Hollywood's version of the Wild West. You're kind of on your own when it comes to controlling drama. But is the level of drama worse in the fandom than elsewhere on the internet? Hell, no. If you know anything at all about the online world and the virtual community, you know that it is bad everywhere. Hell, the current political divisions going on in the USA right now have in large part been incited by social media. The furry world is no worse than any other sordid corner of the cyberworld. This is true when it comes to cons, too. You think furries have exclusive rights to acting like twits in hotels? My sister would tell me about conventions she went to that were for college educators and how she would see biology professors become drunken idiots; my late husband went to journalism conventions and once opened the wrong closet door to see two attendees humping each other. And these were conferences with attendees who were much older on average than furries. Why, then, do we have this impression of ourselves as being worse than other groups? Because we set ourselves up for it. If you believe all the hype about how the fandom is a nirvana of acceptance in which people of all orientations, colors, and creeds don their fursuits or game avatars and get along like Girl Scouts around a campfire only to then discover that there is the possibility of running across trolls, haters, and prima donnas, you are going to be disappointed. Many are disappointed, and then they overreact and declare the fandom to be toxic. So is the fandom toxic? No. Is the fandom nirvana? Again, no. What the fandom is is a bunch of people sharing an interests in furry characters. The members of this fandom are human beings. All of them. Shocker, right? And although the demographics of the fandom are a bit different from the general population (e.g., more LGTBQI people, more young people, and, still, more white males, though that is slowly changing), people are still people. The vast majority of people I have personally met in the fandom are super. They are interesting, fun, intelligent, playful, openminded, and just super people. But, there have also been a few who are total butt munchers. Don't let these few negative people get you down. Don't let them spoil your fun. Learn to recognize and avoid them, and you will have a super-splendiferous time in the fandom just as I have. Remember why you came to the fandom in the first place. Have fun in the imaginative and creative world of furries. This is a community for you to enjoy, and if you approach it with a positive attitude but recognize it is not perfect, you will have a wonderful time. Thank you for reading this post. Please feel free to comment below. Hugs, Papabear While I have made it a policy to ignore criticisms I receive from fellow furries so as not to encourage trolling, I feel I need to say something about recent reactions to the 2021 Good Furry Award. The GFA has, for the most part, been warmly received. But there are still furries out there who have called it everything from a waste of time to nothing but a popularity contest. One critic called it a slam to all the other furries who did not receive the award, saying it is "toxic really because it devalues all of the people that have worked to promote the fandom for many years only to say 'look at this award we have given to some newcomer.'" Another said the "award money should be used to help those who actually need the help to get back on their feet especially after losing their job as a result of covid."
I feel these comments deserve a reply from me. Regarding the comment that the GFA "devalues" everyone who didn't get an award. I can get your thinking on that one. Years ago, when I was working at a publishing house in Detroit, the management began an "Employee Who Makes a Difference Award." I pointed out to HR that the title implies that all the other employees don't make a difference. They quickly changed the name. It was a poor choice of words. But one should remember that one person's success does not lead to the conclusion that another person is a failure for not getting an award. There is an episode in The Big Bang Theory in which the brilliant physicist Sheldon Cooper is upset because a colleague, Bert, won a prestigious award and he has not yet received a Nobel Prize. His girlfriend, Amy, points out that Bert's achievement was well deserved and that it is no reflection on the accomplishments Sheldon has himself made (he later wins the Nobel). ALL the nominees for this year's award (and in previous years) are wonderful furries who deserve recognition. I would give them all prizes if I could, but I can only afford one a year. The good news is that they can keep getting nominated, year after year, until they win. So, I am not snubbing those who didn't win. They are all Good Furries and deserve recognition. In fact, the point of the GFA has never been to give someone a trophy and $500. The point has always been, and will always be, to give some time and space to acknowledge all the good people in the fandom. That is why I publish all the text people wrote when nominating candidates for the prize. It has always been my hope that people will read what these furries have done. If you are doing something just to win a prize, then I question your motivations for doing those things. None of the nominees do what they do to get a GFA. All of them were surprised and happy when I told them they were nominated. Now, concerning the $500, which "should be used to help those who actually need help." The first winner of the prize was Tony "Dogbomb" Barrett, who died as a result of contracting ALS before he could receive his prize. So, I gave the prize money to the ALS Association, which, I hope you will agree, could use the donation. Last year, Ash Coyote won, and she posted this video, noting that she was struggling financially with unexpected bills and that the money helped her a lot. This year's winner, Cassidy Civet, is not exactly rolling in dead presidents either. I'm not sure how the critic defines who is worthy of this small amount of cash and who is not, but I have a feeling they are ignorant of the above facts. This year's winner, Cassidy Civet, can also be held up as an example that we are not talking about popufurs here. After I told them they had won, they reminded me that they had written a letter to this column in 2015 in which they were concerned about a slew of personal attacks that they had been experiencing in the fandom. I, personally, find it very satisfying that a furry who was being smeared and called names by bad furries six years ago is now the winner of the Good Furry Award. I have been a furry all my life (before there was a fandom), and have been active in it for many years, but I am still amazed by how the fandom is its own worst enemy. It is not the media or other non-furs who do the most damage to our reputation; it is us. My purpose for the Good Furry Award is to turn up the light on the many many good people in the furry fandom. Sadly, it is also true that the brighter the sun is, the darker the shadows appear. Let's be happy for the winners and the nominees. They are all wonderful people, and I wish them the best. I am proud to run this award and to give some joy to those who have struggled to make the fandom a better place. And I will continue to run this award as long as this bear is alive and kicking. I have been a furry since I was a little kid growing up in the 1970s (yes, I have moles on my back older than most of you reading this), and I first became aware of the fandom around 1990 (these are separate things, as I will later explain). Yesterday, I stumbled upon this YouTube video by Beta Eta Delota with the title The Furry Fandom Is Toxic. Just reading the title made me cringe (provocative title meant to draw clicks, no doubt), but I did my duty, which is my continuing effort to learn about all things furry and to keep taking the fandom's temperature every month or two to see if it is feeling well, and watched the video. (It's not long, so you can take a few minutes and watch it yourself.) Basically, he makes two points: 1) that furries too often excuse bad people in the fandom (and by bad, he means things like pedophiles, zoophiles, and Nazi furs) either because they have cute fursuits and/or have been nice to the person who is excusing them and who feels their bad behavior doesn't affect them, or 2) because furries use the fandom as an unhealthy escape from reality.
Now, he has some points here, and he is the first to stress that not all furries are this way. But, like everyone who criticizes the fandom, he makes two mistakes: 1) saying the fandom "can be better" without offering any suggestions or solutions as to HOW it could improve other than vaguely saying that furries shouldn't tolerate haters and pedos (well, no shit); and 2) somehow believing that a fandom consisting of hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people should somehow be different than humanity in general. Everything he points out that is wrong about the fandom (tolerating bad people, escaping too much into fantasy) is also true of humanity in general. The fandom isn't bad because it is a furry fandom; there are bad people in the fandom and there are people who tolerate that because that's what human beings do. Furries are no different than anyone else. Beta's vlog is just one of quite a lot of such videos blorping around on YouTube and social media. There are long diatribes from people droning on about "why I left the fandom" and whining how toxic it is all over the place. Most of them are either criticizing the furporn element or the, sigh, drama. So, if the fandom is so toxic and shameful, you might wonder why there are droves of furries padding about in it with an "oWo" here and an "uWu" there. Well, the other side of the coin are the furries extolling the virtues of the fandom, arguing what a happy-pappy place it is full of people who will love you unconditionally and accept you for who you are and that it is all about fun and creativity. While this is, in part, quite true, it is also--like the myth of the American Dream--in many ways a heaping barrel of horse manure. If the fandom were Nirvana, I wouldn't see many letters in my "Ask Papabear" inbox and everyone in the world would be scratching at the fandom's doggy door to get in. There is considerable drama, and yours truly has been on the defensive end of troll attacks and jerkwads on several occasions. But! There are many many wonderful furries, too! Just look at the over three dozen nominees for this year's Good Furry Award and you will learn about just a few of them. So why is this an issue at all, and why do furries get their tails in a knot about it? Well, for one thing, the fandom has become a place to which many people escape because they are looking for the acceptance they did not receive in mundane society. While certainly not true for all furries, many furries come here because they are LGBTQ or because they have emotional or mental issues such as autism spectrum disorder (I've lost count of the number of furries who have written to me saying they have Asperger syndrome or OCD or some other anxiety disorder or depression). They are seeking a place of acceptance and have been told that the fandom is it. But what often (sometimes inevitably) happens is that when they come across some bad characters among their new social group, they find themselves rejected, say, by their local furmeet, and they feel utterly betrayed. So, they lash out at the fandom as a whole because of this, blaming everyone for their experience. Another phenomena is Usurper Syndrome (my name for it). This happens when someone who may have felt like an outcast in mundane society suddenly finds too much acceptance in the fandom and rises (or misappropriates) a leadership role in a local furry group. Now finding themselves on the top rung of the ladder, they proceed to use their footpaws to kick people out to make a point: "I'm going to do to you what others did to me as a salve for my bruised ego." Doing this maneuver usually involves devious shenanigans to remove a group's previous leader and assume the throne for themselves. When this happens, the dethroned furry either announces that furries are all trash or says that they are "leaving the fandom." Next, there are Furry Posers. These are people who join the fandom for all the wrong reasons (e.g. they think it is a cool way to be rebellious or to shock people) and end up causing trouble in the community because they aren't genuine. These are the people who steal art or fursuits (because they have no skills), are hungry for attention and want to be popufurs, OR, even worse, they see the fandom as a gateway to release their sexual deviancies and prey on people. These are not true furries, and I agree with Beta that they should not be tolerated within the fandom. Finally, there is the Prude Patrol. Some of you who know furry history will recall the Burned Furs, who, from about 1998 to 2001, went on a rampage to tell all furries they couldn't have adult art (rather like the American Puritans). Of course, this worked about as well as Prohibition in the 1920s. But there are many furries out there still who get their undies in a bunch because there is furporn. My reply: if you don't like it, don't look at it. Prudes are upset because they feel furporn will be a reflection on them, so they demand it be extirpated completely from the fandom. Such people also are overly sensitive to criticism and satire from nonfurries (a famous example is the Furry Force cartoons from CollegeHumor that are just hysterical). If you can't laugh at yourself, you either need to work on your self-esteem or not take yourself so seriously. Because of people like the above (and there are other cases, but these are some of the major ones), furries tend to be their own worst enemy. This results either in furries posting videos like Beta Eta Delota's to complain about themselves, OR! they do exactly the opposite and idealize the fandom as something it really isn't: a perfect, loving place where all are welcomed and one can indulge in a fantasy life free from real-world troubles like bigotry and social hierarchies. Years ago, I got it into my head that the solution to all of this was to create a regulating organization that I called The American Furries Association. I even got so far as to get some volunteer staff members, hold some meetings, and commission a logo. The idea was that it would serve as a way to screen out bad furries (you would have to apply and you could be kicked out for bad behavior), prevent fursona stealing (by creating a fursona and fursuit database), and be an information resource and support group for both new and experienced furries. I had to shut the doors on it before it got off the ground because, even with some volunteers, I quickly found out it would be a full-time job to lead the AFA, and I simply didn't have the time to give it that it deserved. But a second reason was that furries simply don't want to be regulated. One of the features that makes the furry fandom unique is that it is not associated with a franchise or regulated by a nonprofit or corporate entity (unlike, say, the Trekkies or Star Wars fans). Furries tend to bristle at the suggestion they have to adhere to rules of conduct or apply for a membership (other furries have sometimes tried to create such groups and issue membership cards to little effect). Hence, here we are: a HUGE fandom of millions of people without a cohesive, organizing body to oversee them. The furry fandom more closely resembles a Mad Max world than it does Earth under the United Federation of Planets. It's a Wild West of chaos and adventure where you find both Outlaws and Lawmen, Showgirls and Trollops, Gunmen and Healers, Christians and Native Spiritualists. You can't put a leash around it's neck and rein it in. And don't expect to produce a vlog commanding everyone to behave and expect furries to suddenly say, "Ohmahgerd! You're right! How could we have been so foolish! We will all behave now." Beta ends his vlog by saying that the fandom could be better. Sure, everything could be better. It could also be a lot worse, just as this world could be a lot better or worse. But without any supervision--which will never ever happen--it's going to be what it is: a crapload of people goofing around in fursuits or making art, or playing games. A lot of these people are wonderful, creative, and compassionate furries, but some of them are, well, assholes. Hey! Whaddaya know! Just like the real world! Beta IS correct that we should not excuse bad furries just because they "have a cute fursuit." And someone who is guilty of a crime such as pedophilia (someone with a criminal record for this) or other crimes such as animal abuse, domestic violence, rape, or theft, should be banned from furry events. (And, if you didn't know already, there is actually something called the Furry Convention Leadership Roundtable consisting of furcon organizers who discuss issues such as this.) He's also correct that it is unhealthy to immerse yourself in the fandom completely as a way of escaping the responsibilities of reality. But the furry fandom in and of itself is not toxic. The furry fandom is not a kumbaya community, either. The furry fandom is what you make of it. If you bring drama to it or create drama, if you insist on associating with the bad eggs, you're going to have a bad time. Learn to separate the wheat from the chaff. Don't admire a furry because you think their suit is awesome or they are a talented artist. Get to know them as people, and be discerning in your choice of friends. Don't expect the fandom to change to suit your needs. That's like kicking a brontosaurus in the toe and telling it to change course. it's too big. It's grown exponentially from a small group of friends meeting at a sci-fi convention to a worldwide phenomenon. And it is not only growing, but it is changing as well. And it will continue to change because it is a living, breathing social movement. I'm a furry because I love anthro art in film, TV, comic books, graphic novels, and online. I was a furry since I was about 6 years old, pretending to be Chip from Disney's Chip and Dale, not having a clue why I did it. I just enjoyed it. When I discovered that there were others like me by stumbling upon the Furry Nation website back around 1990, I was thrilled. I love the fursuits. I love the art. I love going to furcons and donning my own fursuit and being Grubbs Grizzly. I adore it. And while I am very aware of the bad posers out there and do not tolerate them, I am not going to allow them to ruin my good time. I am not part of a "toxic" community, and labeling an entire community in this way is irresponsible at best, an invitation to hate at worst. If I thought the fandom was toxic, I wouldn't be writing this column and I wouldn't be running the Good Furry Award. I'm not a furry because I found the fandom; I participate in the fandom because I'm a furry. The community that is the fandom and the fact that I am a furry are two separate things. Like oil-and-vinegar salad dressing, they can taste good together, but unless you shake them up together occasionally, they will separate out and reveal themselves as quite different from one another. So, don't worry about "fixing" the fandom. It's fine. If you want to improve something, just work on yourself. We all need improving, myself included. Stay furry! Dear Papa Bear,
Normally, I would not write in to a column about a issue I'm having. However, since this is something I've had a lot of people talk to me about and I don't know the answer, I figured taking it to a higher source makes more sense. So, I am a late 30-something furry, and I've been in the fandom nearly a decade. As I've aged, I've noticed furry has become, for lack of a better term, "tainted" by social politics, gender wars, and identity politics. Unfortunately, much of the issue is coming from a result of the young taking over leadership roles in our community. My question is, what can we "the elder generation" of furries do to maybe help curb the tide of this problem and what do you think of furry becoming so hyperpolitical? Lotus Wolf (37) * * * Dear Lotus Wolf, Good question, and one I certainly relate to, being a greymuzzle myself. Yes, the fandom is changing, and it is radically different from when it started in the late 1970s/early 1980s. This is the result of a couple of things: 1) the internet, and 2) how it has grown to include hundreds of thousands of people. As the fandom becomes more visible to the general public, it has attracted a lot of people who don't really "get" furry. They are in it more to get attention than to be a part of the fun. Part of getting attention has been to do political things such as becoming a Nazi or Antifa furry. In this bear's humble opinion, furry is not a place for politics (this includes any sexual or gender or identity politics). It's supposed to be a place to avoid mundane things like politics and economics and social pressures. I disagree with you that furry has become "hyperpolitical." Yes, politics have encroached upon it, but not in an all-consuming way--just enough to be annoying. What to do about it? Number one is to avoid validating people who want to make politics a thing in the fandom (doesn't matter if they are on the right, left, or moderate). They are basically trolls and should be ignored and blocked. Second is to reemphasize the fantasy aspect of the fandom by encouraging and participating in the writing, art, and games of the fandom. Third is to do what we can to educate the younger generations about furry history and who we are. Such things as Ash Coyote's documentary The Fandom can be helpful, or reading books such as Joe Striker's Furry Nation. Change is inevitable and will continue in any living fandom. There will be good things about the fandom and bad things, but that's okay as long as we don't lose sight of who we are. Communication and education are the best approaches. We should also recognize that some things simply are not acceptable. I, for one, do not appreciate seeing anyone wearing a swastika armband at a furcon (or the Furry Raiders' armband, which is obviously similar, and don't tell me it's not), and I'm not a fan of how Antifa furs have behaved in the past, nor do I care to see furcon room parties for Soviet Furs. Young people in America, especially, have lost an appreciation for democracy and freedom, sadly. They have been coddled and spoiled and no longer understand how lucky they are. A Cambridge University study showed that 55% of Millennials don't think democracy is important. The failing here is not with the Millenials, however; it is with the older generation and our current politicians who have made a mockery of democracy. What the Millennials are abhorring, really, is the distorted and corrupt "democracy" we now have. The internet, as we have seen so painfully recently, is also to blame for spreading lies and misinformation about our political institutions and a number of politicians. The furry fandom is a victim of the times. Don't blame furries themselves. I hate when people say things such as "The fandom is just a bunch of furverts and drama queens and haters." No, it's not. Almost everyfur I meet--young and old--is a wonderful person. But it only takes a drop of arsenic to poison the entire cup of tea. More and more, admins in places such as Facebook groups (including me) have been prohibiting politics and hate in their groups. If those who run social websites, furmeets, and furcons remain vigilant, they can do a lot to eliminate or, at least, minimize the problem. There need to be adults in the room, in other words. And I call on the greymuzzles and other, younger, adults who have taken it upon themselves to assume leadership roles in the fandom to set standards for their groups and organizations. We have seen what happens when supervision is lacking (e.g., the closing of Rainfurest and some other cons). Be an example to the younger furries and you will go a long way toward keeping the furry fandom a fun and enjoyable social phenomenon. This is an important topic, and I've only brushed the surface of it. I welcome my readers' comments and input below. Hugs, Papabear I have been writing the "Ask Papabear" column for seven years now. I wanted to pause for a moment and offer these thoughts and points to all of you who read this blog....
Why do I write "Ask Papabear"? Hmm. I started writing it when young furries started seeking advice from me unsolicited. I became active in the fandom rather late, but most furries are in their teens and twenties, and I saw that a lot of them lacked positive mentors in their lives. You know, when I first created the website, people made fun of me. "Who is this guy that calls himself 'Papabear' and why does he think he's so great he can give furries advice? Does he just want to be a popufur?" There was some furry radio podcaster who mocked my voice (even though there is no audio on the site) and acted like I was a doofus. A friend of mine alerted me to the broadcast as it was ongoing, and I felt humiliated. So I called the station up, and they said the guy who was mocking me was just doing it "because it's his job on the show to mock people." Although they apologized, and I told them I accepted that apology, in my head I felt really bad. I almost quit right there because I felt, "Well, if this is how furries are, then f*** 'em." But I didn't quit because I realized that people like that were a minority, and if I quit then a lot of furries that needed some encouragement would go lacking. Why do I feel I am qualified to give advice? First, it should be noted that most newspaper advice columnists in the past were women with absolutely no background in psychology or social work; newspaper editors gave them the job on the old social pages to fill up some space and appeal to women readers. So, I didn't need any qualifications LOL. However, I actually DO have qualifications, even though I'm not a trained counselor. I have life experiences that cover many bases relevant to furries, and, being a furry myself and a fursuiter, I know what it's like to be a furry. I've actually had compliments from psychologists and social workers about my column. Oh, I also studied psychology for two years in college before switching majors to English. Finally, since I don't charge for my advice, I'm not pretending to be a professional, so nothing illegal is happening here. But WHY do I do it? I have found in my life that things such as money, material goods (houses, cars, etc.), and power have no appeal to me. They do not give me any satisfaction. The only thing that has made this bear's life feel worthwhile is hearing from people like you who have said that I have helped them. When I hear, for example, that I have helped a married couple with their problems in bed and have brought them back from the brink of separation, or that I have gotten two furries to hook up and become lifetime mates, or that I helped a parent understand her furry child, well, that just brings a big grin to this greymuzzle's face! So, I guess you could say I'm being selfish. Helping people makes me happy. I have struggled since my teen years with depression (still have it, of course), and people like you are my antidote for when I feel sad about the losses in my life or about the state of the world. To you, and to all my readers, thank YOU for helping ME. Bear Hugs, Papabear Grubbs Grizzly |
Categories
All
An excellent article on coming out LGBT to Christian parents.
A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.
|
RSS Feed