Ask Papabear, the First Advice Column for Furries

Latest Letter (April 11, 2026)

Dear Papabear,

Hi. It's a pleasure to meet you. I have a question since I'm bisexual, and ... the Bible says being with the same sex is bad. And I'm also poly with a bunch of boyfriends. If I repent, how do I break up with them? Only because I feel guilty with the same sex, which I'm trying my best not to fall into that again. If you could help me that would be great. I just don't want to hurt anyone. Thanks for reading this and still it's a pleasure to meet you, Papabear.

Rock (age 24)

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Dear Rock,

You have no need to repent or to break up with anyone you don't want to break up with. You have done nothing wrong in God's eyes. There are many rules in the Bible--a book written by human beings, by the way--that are there to enforce social order and to encourage a stable society that can be controlled. Period. For example, there are many rules about what foods you can and can't eat (rules you probably violate because they are in the Old Testament and followed more by Orthodox and Conservative Jews these days than they are by Christians). For example, rules about eating pork found in Leviticus 11:7-8 and Deuteronomy 14:8 are there because back when these passages were written it was more dangerous to eat pork because it could make you sick. It was also prohibited to cook meat and milk together (Exodus 23:19 and 34:26, Deuteronomy 14:21) for similar reasons. The writers of the Bible put such rules in and say they are the commandments from God because, let's face it, it was a lot easier to make people obey dietary rules for their health by saying "God tells you to do it that way" than to explain how it might make you sick and that your leaders are the ones telling you to eat in certain ways.

The same is true for any rules about sex in the Bible. In the Old Testament, it should be noted, King David had at least eight wives and many many concubines. King Solomon had a thousand wives and concubines. Do you think they are burning in Hell now? Probably not, although supposedly this is why God eventually divided Solomon's kingdom. David wasn't really punished for his eight wives per se, but he was mostly punished for fooling around with Bathsheba. Despite this, David and Solomon are considered Israel's greatest kings in history, and the Christians make it very clear that it is important to note that Jesus is a descendant of David in order to preserve the idea of a royal Jewish lineage.

Anyway, it's fair to say that in the Old Testament they were a bit more lax with the whole monogamy thing, and nobody seemed to mind concubines at all LOL. No, the real reason heterosexual, monogamous marriages are stressed are to create stable families for the sake of society.

In this concise article from Psychology Today, psychologist Arash Emamzadeh explains the theories as to why religions such as Christianity stress rules enforcing monogamy. These include:

Monogamous parents tended to have more children than poly parents
They tended to raise healthy children more successfully
It was easier financially to raise children in a two-parent, monogamous household (more stable sources of food and shelter, for example)
Religious partners are seen as more stable and reliable to their mates, making a stable relationship also more likely

Another reason not discussed in the above article is that having a stable monogamous relationship greatly decreases--if not entirely eliminates--the possibility of sexually transmitted infections.

There is actually a lot to be said for the above. We have seen in modern society how increased promiscuity, the decline of the institution of marriage, and the destabilization of the traditional family have caused such problems as children living in one-parent homes and suffering increased financial hardships, psychological problems such as depression and anxiety, struggles in education, and even increased crime, drug use, and alcoholism. In short, Christians will tell you that being LGBTQ or poly or anything that is not hetero and monogamous is a "sin" (whether they do so consciously or subconsciously) because they are trying to control your behavior and they feel the only way to do this is to scare you and to make you feel like a bad person. It's a strategy that works, but it is also a strategy that causes a lot of trauma in people, including self-hatred and despair.

What I'm trying to explain, Rock, is that you are being made to feel guilty not because you are a bad person but because you are part of a society that is trying to control you for the benefit of the social order, and not because God will see you as a sinner (although according to Christians we are all sinners, so not sure why it matters).

I'm not saying don't be a Christian or don't be poly or don't be gay. You don't actually have to make a choice. There are many LGBTQ Christians out there. And there are also Christian Furry groups such as the Christian Furry Fellowship. I suggest you look into these churches and organizations to increase your chances of finding people of faith who will love and appreciate you for you.

You are fine just the way you are, Rock. And you are loved.

Blessed Be,

Papabear