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Papabear Note: You might notice I have not posted a lot of letters lately. This is mostly because I don't like repeating myself and I don't think readers need to see the same issue brought up repeatedly: namely, "How do I tell my parents/family/coworkers/friends I am a furry?" I have answered this question literally hundreds of times by now. I still answer it privately in emails to furries who ask, but I am no longer posting these letters here. You can see some of my previous replies here, and I will also address it one more time in The Furry Book. Thank you.
Latest Letter: June 21, 2018Dear Papabear,
I live right near Midwest Furfest and I've been wanting to go, plus I'll be 16 by the time it happens and It will be my first fur-con. I don't want to go there with my parents, but I want to find someone that can take me there that isn't a creepo or pedo, you know what I mean. My parents are aware that I am a member of the fandom, but I haven't told them that I wanted to go to MFF. I was planning on going there on the train with my temporary guardian so my parents don't have to go with me and I can have some sort of safety assurance. To cut to the chase, Is there a good resource to find someone to go with me and how can I get my parents to understand I want to go and be by myself once I find someone? Anonymous * * * Dear Furiend, Actually, I recommend you DO ask your parents to go with you. Why? A couple of reasons: 1) taking them with you to a furcon, especially a well-run con like MFF, will help allay any fears they might have about the fandom. Whenever Papabear talks with a parent who has actually attended a furry convention, they inevitably say it was a positive experience and gave them a much better impression of the fandom; 2) by inviting them to come with you, you are showing them that you are not being secretive about the fandom and that you have nothing to hide about your interests in being a furry. I understand that you may feel that taking your parents with you is going to cramp your style and that teenagers often feel embarrassed when they are around their parents at social events, but you will see that many furries at the con will likely think it is super cool that your parents are there and that they support you. With luck, your parents could even have an awesome time and see that this is an activity that is creative and fun! So, no, there is not a "good resource" to find substitute parents or guardians to go with you to a furry convention. At 15, you need a parent or guardian with you, you really do. Now, according to the MFF Code of Conduct, which is similar to that of most furcons: "Unemancipated individuals under the age of 18 (minors), unless accompanied by a parent or guardian, must present a signed and notarized parental permission form to receive a badge. Accompanying parents or guardians of minor attendees are responsible for the behavior, activities, and location of their charges." So, if you don't go with a parent or guardian, you're going to need them to sign paperwork for you to get an attendance badge. You might as well go the whole nine yards and take them with you. After the first time you go to a furcon, your parents might agree to signing a form to allow you to go by yourself or with friends, but for your virgin trip, as a minor, I highly recommend that one or both of them accompany you. Hope it all works out and you have a great time! Papabear |
The reason The Furry Book (see below) has been delayed is that I had to finish my late husband, Jim's book first. It is now available. If you are interested in California, this is a very fun and informative read.
 The Furry Book will be a guide to the fandom for audiences including new furries, experienced furries, family and friends of furries, the media, and the furry curious.
COMING IN 2018!
THE FURRY BOOK (Cover art by Charleston Rat) Attention Artists! Would you like to promote your work and make some money? Click Here. 
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