Ask Papabear 2.0 Is Coming!November 17, 2025: While furries still do come to this website and write to ol' Papabear, I feel I need to get my fuzzy butt moving and make this column a video channel. So, I have gotten all the equipment and software I need, and I am preparing my first YouTube video! I will be answering a letter or two, of course, but I plan to talk about other things as well regarding the fandom. Stay tuned!
Latest Letter (December 13, 2025)Dear Papabear,
I just finished school and am trying to decide where to go from here. I've been living with family in Michigan throughout my 20s to save money, but all my family members have moved out of my hometown to the southern part of the state because it's gotten too expensive to live up north in the resort town I grew up in. My mom got a house in Port Huron (a smallish city just north of Detroit) and invited me and my brother to live with her, though to be honest, Port Huron seems kinda dull. I have been thinking of moving to a big city for a while, and I had my eyes on Chicago because I've been there before. It's not too far from family, it has good public transit, and it's cheaper than a lot of big cities. My brother said he would come with me if I decided to go. I'm still hesitant, and I'm wondering if I actually want to live in a big city, or if I just like the idea of it. I've never liked driving, and I like using public transit and being able to walk everywhere. I'm moving to Port Huron in the spring, and I plan on staying there for maybe a year to save more money before deciding where to go from there. o be blunt, my degree isn't all that useful, but I work for a big company and can transfer, and I do furry art commissions on the side. I went to college on and off throughout my 20s and struggled at first because of undiagnosed ADHD, which I started taking meds for just a couple of years ago. I mostly just finished my degree to make my mom happy. I've also considered doing some kind of online certification to get a better paying day job I don't hate, but I question if it's even worth it since even people with "useful" degrees can't find jobs right now. I was just curious if you had any advice. Sorry if my letter is kind of all over the place. I'm just a little overwhelmed. Stee (age 30) * * * Dear Stee, Thank you for your letter. Your query is a bit vague, but let me see if I can encapsulate it in one sentence as: "Do you think it is wise for me to move from Michigan and settle in Chicago at this point in my life?" Sound good? First of all, as someone who lived in Michigan for many years (mostly in the Detroit and Lansing areas), I am familiar with Port Huron. Although I hear, like any city, it has its problems, I think it is still a nice place overall, and it wouldn't be horrible to live there. It is in a beautiful area and is quite affordable. Also, I understand it has a very good bus system that runs on natural gas, so you shouldn't have too much trouble getting around, especially if you live near a bus stop. I can understand your mom moving there. While Port Huron does have some fun stuff to do, especially if you like nature walks and boating, it is indeed a bit calmer than a large city like Chicago, which has a thriving arts and theater community, a wonderful waterfront, great restaurants, etc. etc. So, if you like living in the city, it's a good choice. I lived in Wheaton not far from Chicago for a while and visited a number of times. I do like Chicago. And if you like heavy food like Chicago-style pizza and hot dogs, you certainly can't go wrong. Remember, though, that it isn't just a town's amenities that make it interesting. If you are in a home located near a lot of friends and family, then even, say, Needles, California, could be a nice place to live. On the other paw, if you are in a big, exciting city like New York or Chicago but are completely friendless and alone, it would be a pretty sad place to be. Home is where friends and family are. Okay, so now imagine you are in Port Huron with your mom. You've decided to hang out for at least a year. Chicago is not that far, and you can drive there (I assume you can drive even though you prefer public transit; if you don't have a car, rent one), or you can take a hopper plane, OR you can travel by train! Go to Chicago and check it out for a week or two. See if you like the feel of the city. Also, see if you really are able to transfer to Chicago or nearby through your company (you might think you can, but that is up to your bosses, and they might not want to move you; I don't know, but check on that before you make big plans). If you know anyone who lives there, see if you can hang with them for a day or two and get their impressions of life in Chicago. In short, look before you leap. You might decide Chicago is fantastic and want to try to move there right away; you might decide it's not so great but that, once you've been in Port Huron awhile, you find it surprisingly nice and want to stay. Or maybe, while you're in Chicago, you decide to drive a little north to check out Milwaukee and fall in love with that city. The point is that you should never make decisions--especially life-changing decisions--without doing some research first. Before I moved from Michigan to the Coachella Valley, I took a trip to Palm Springs and researched the housing market and came up with a plan. Now, I had lived before in SoCal, so the area wasn't completely new to me, but I hadn't been there in years, so it was worth looking into again. Also, as a freelancer, I could live anywhere, so the job thing wasn't an issue. Everyone's circumstances are different. Cultures are different, too. The culture in Palm Springs is waaaaaaaayyy different than in Lansing, Michigan. Similarly, Chicago does have its own culture. Even the accent of a Chicagoan is different. You really should try to take a trip there for a bit and absorb the surroundings, observe people, try to talk to them, and so on. Again, you might find you love it, you might not. When it comes to degrees, that is a tricky subject indeed. I'm one of the few people I know whose job is actually related to their undergrad degree. There are also people with kind of, well, useless degrees who succeed anyway in other fields. I have a dear friend who I often use an example. His degree is in American Studies. Ack. But after college, he worked his way up at a law firm from data entry to head of the IT department. He later worked on Comedy Central's website. He has no degree in computer science, but he is very good with computers, nonetheless. My late husband, Jim, had an associate's degree in communications and worked his way up to be the news director at an NBC station. Unless you're in a very specific skill such as medicine or engineering, college degrees are kind of something you do to show you're smart enough to do the work. Nothing I do today as an editor and publisher has much to do with my B.A. I learned how to edit books on the job; I taught myself typesetting; I taught myself how to start a business. Experience is what matters. Remember, people like Bill Gates, Steve Wozniak, Steven Spielberg, Frank Lloyd Wright, Ted Turner, President William McKinley were all college dropouts. And yes, a lot of people get graduate degrees in supposedly important fields like computer science and find they can't get employed and are now hugely in debt. Also, AI is profoundly changing the job market, so you have to keep that in mind, too. So, ask yourself what you are learning in your current job; can it be applied to a job you might enjoy more? If not, will getting a certification in a specific area help? If so, then go for it. You have to know what you want to do in life before you can pursue it. Hopefully, you won't pick a career just because you think you will make good money at it. That can lead to quite an unsatisfying life. Now for the broader picture: You're not here in this world to get a college degree or to have a great career. You're here to experience life. While there are practical things to worry about (earning enough to have shelter and food, duh), you only have a few decades on this planet--and that's if you're lucky. What do you really want to do with that time? What do you wish to experience? What kind of life do you truly want to live? Without answering these questions, you're really just wandering about aimlessly, which makes it difficult to have goals and plans to reach those goals. So, there you are. A rambling question receives a rambling answer, despite my trying to keep it focused LOL. Let me try one more time. . . . Question: "Do you think it is wise for me to move from Michigan and settle in Chicago at this point in my life?" Answer: "You can only answer that if you do some research first. Understand where you are going and why you want to go there before you try to get there." Not sure if this helps at all, but perhaps it will give you some things to think about. Take Care, Papabear |
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