Dear Papabear,

What are the benefits of psychedelics, if any? I ask this because it may or may be possible certain ones may be legal someday. It's not like they are all bad; it's just ... is it right from a moral stand point to make certain ones legal in Canada?

Sergie

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Dear Sergie,

Good question :-3 Some people, such as, famously, the late Dr. Timothy Leary, have promoted the benefits of drugs like LSD. There are those who say it has a spiritual effect, allowing people to experience things they could not in the mundane world. Scientists who have studied drugs such as psilocybin (psilocybin, baeocystin, norbaeocystin, and psilocin are all hallucinogens found in eleven different mushroom genera), speculate that this is because psychotropics bring down the barriers around our sense of self, our ego, and make us feel more open-minded and connected to the world around us.

While there have not been any major studies on the effects of hallucinogens just yet, there have been a number of smaller ones involving a couple dozen subjects. Focusing on psilocybin, they concluded hallucinogens have benefits for both healthy and mentally ill patients. For those with various emotional and mental illnesses, the drug has been found effective for such disorders as depression, anxiety, and addiction (one study reported successfully curing 80% of test subjects of nicotine addiction). When administered to healthy patients, the drugs have notable effects on personalities. They tend to make people calmer, more creative, more focused, compassionate, tolerant--in short, NICER people! Interestingly, these effects can be noted with a single dose of a hallucinogen and can last over a year.

There is an important caveat to this, however, which is that psychotropics do have risks. For some people, they can cause "bad trips," as people who dropped acid in the Sixties and Seventies used to say, which can make you go literally nuts. For this reason, should drugs like psilocybin be approved someday for medical use, they should only be administered by skilled physicians and not taken recreationally. Taking the wrong dose of these medicines is highly dangerous.

So, when you ask about whether hallucinogens are good from a "moral" standpoint, I would say they are as moral as any other medication might be. There are many potential benefits for them that I don't think we should ignore and that require further research by the medical community.


Hugs,
Papabear

Hello, Papa.
 
I don't know if this counts as much as a question as it does as a desperate cry for help.

Also, this is going to take very long to read, so take as much time as you need to respond, and to anyone who reads this, I hope it's at least helpful for you.

I have written to you before back in the day when I had a different fursona and I had no problem in letting everyone know who I was and what 'my situation' was, back when I was still a manipulative man child desperately looking for excuses to latch onto the carefree nature of my childhood - avoiding the responsibilities that adulthood brings. I've been telling myself for the longest time that it's okay to be childlike (having childlike interests) only to disguise my immaturity. I'm aware it's okay to collect plush toys and keyholders and play games and all that stuff, but I've been using all that scheme as a scapegoat to keep myself from becoming an adult. I have finally turned 24 just today and I'm still as stuck as I was when I was 18 and I spent a whole year doing nothing after high school.

I haven't lost it. I keep being manipulative, I keep getting jealous and envious and angry over petty things, enforcing the idea on myself that I'm worthless and therefore I have the 'right' to be upset over ridiculous things, and I constantly compare my personal value with others so as to keep telling myself that other people are better than me and that that's the reason why I don't make it in life.

In fact I'm getting everything mixed up. So, if you don't mind reading a bit more than usual for a question, here are a few anecdotes that might give you a better idea of my current emotional and mental state.

I had been doing a Fluoxetine treatment for little over six months and I had decided to drop it because I told myself I don't need pills to do well in life and feel better, and for some time it seemed to be true as I was in fact doing better.

I don't know if it's got to do with me having left the pills, but now I get more and more hysterical more easily, getting upset over the smallest remarks, pretty much like my 2nd girlfriend used to do, who was by far the most manipulative person I've ever met - she used physical illnesses to keep people held by the b@lls, that's how far it went.

Last Friday I was in the university's cafeteria and, scrolling through Google+, I found a particular post in a fetish themed community I was following; someone had republished a picture of a furry I really like/d with another fur (a picture that they themselves would have never shown me), and if anyone has known me for a long time they would know I lost my sh!t over it; my face went hot and my hands and legs went cold, and I was so angry I wanted to punch the table and make a hole in it if I could have. I saw myself getting back to the old days of getting upset and angry and full of hatred over something that somebody else would never have (seriously, it's ridiculous). And most importantly, I realized that I was essentially being so overly sensitive over everything so as to get back to my man-child days of trying to manipulate people with my anger or sadness.

I went and told this furry how I felt and things between me and them have been really awkward since then, as I'm not even sure how s/he feels about it and I'm almost certain I left a horrible impression (I know I in their shoes would have been creeped out as hell, or pissed at least). But most importantly, and as far as my own issues are concerned (which are the only thing I can actually make a dent on), seeing them in my contacts list is only a permanent reminder of my current emotional and mental decay. I'm 24 and I keep doing the same things I did when I was 18, which were already immature and harmful in their own accord back then.

The most important thing, and the MAIN reason why I'm writing this letter to you (gee, it took me so long), is because all of this is heavily interfering in my main concern, which are my studies, or lack thereof in my case.

It's the second time I'm going through the same course—I lost a whole year last year, and in doing so I also wasted a great job opportunity to earn a lot of money just looking after my brother's house while his partner and him were on a holiday trip to Europe, also throwing our relationship down the sh!tter with how I evaded that responsibility. So I did nor one thing nor the other.

You would think that being the second time I'm doing the first year of this career, I would have some experience and I would be studying harder. But in fact, I'm as lost as I was last year and everyday I'm about to give up. Sometimes I even feed myself with negative thoughts about jumping off the bridge I cross every Tuesday and Thursday night on my way back home from volleyball lessons.

Basically, I'm constantly falling back into the vices of deceiving myself with "I'll study later" and investing time and emotions into internet stuff, putting so much thought and energy into it that getting upset over internet events can already ruin my day to the point that I no longer have any motivation to do anything else. That day when I saw this picture of this furry crush with someone else, I was so upset I took a bus back home and told my mother that "algebra class had been cancelled" just so I could give myself an excuse to sleep all day. That's how far it goes.

So here's the question: What do I do?

Anonymous (age 24; Argentina)
 
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Hi Furiend
 
Question: did all this bad stuff happen after you stopped taking Fluoxetine?  Are you still not taking it?
 
[Note to readers: Fluoxetine is an antidepressant designed to also lessen anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and panic attacks. It should be dispensed only under a doctor’s supervision.]
 
Papabear
 
* * *
 
It wasn't immediately after I stopped taking it, but I'm still not taking it, and in all honesty I don't want to keep on taking it because I don't want to rely on pills to grow up as a person.
 
* * *
 
Hello, again,
 
Okay, well, there is a clear correlation between your not taking your medication and things getting much worse for you. I understand and sympathize with the fact that you don't want to be on medication, but sometimes people need medicine. There is no shame in that, and there is no shame in your taking Fluoxetine any more than there is shame in someone with a heart condition taking medicine so that they can live.
 
It is very common for people such as yourself to suddenly decide--usually against doctors' orders--to stop their medication. This is unwise and often leads to a lot of pain and suffering. Just because you are on medication doesn't mean that it is the thing responsible for your personal growth. That's all you. Indeed, NOT taking it is making it MORE difficult for you to become the kind of person you wish to be.
 
I am not a doctor, so I am not comfortable stating for certain this is what needs to be done, but I would very strongly recommend you go back to your physician and talk to him or her about this. My prediction is that the doctor will prescribe the Fluoxetine again (it seemed to be working) or possibly change the dosage or try a different medicine if it makes you feel better. Also, talk to your doctor to see if there might be things you can do to, over time, lessen the dosage or even, eventually, get off of it, but stopping it abruptly on your own without medical advice was not the thing you should have done.
 
Some people think it shows weakness taking medicine. Actually, it takes great strength to admit you have a problem and follow your doctor's orders. Keep working on your condition and perhaps it will improve in the future, but for now, I'm fairly certain you need to get back on Fluoxetine, hon.
 
Good Luck,
Papabear
 ​

Dear Papa,
It's me again...I know by now you're probably wondering if I'll ever let you get any sleep.

Sadly, I haven't been sleeping right either last few nights. It doesn't sound like a furry issue, but since I'm a furry, it counts. Right? haha Anyway, I have had problems lately with very basic functions, eating, sleeping, drinking water. By problems, I mean I have been simply forgetting to do them. I can literally go a day, maybe more, without much filling up my time, and not eat anything at all. I don't get hungry or thirsty, at least not until I remind myself to eat or drink something, and this leads me to my second problem.

I gorge myself...

During a typical week, I will not eat much more than very light snacks every now and again during the day, and I'm satisfied, or at least sated for a good while. Every few days though, I will go to eat something just for the sake of not starving myself, and I find that I can't stop eating. I eat what's easy to get to first, then I get creative and cook (small) meals for myself. I eat until I'm not just full, but slightly sick and rather...discontentedly distended.

I never gain or lose weight, and my job keeps me regularly active all week, and in fact I haven't gained any weight in the last few years. Exactly 131 lbs. Same problem with the water too, nearly starve myself, then gorge myself.

As for sleep, I have no schedule what-so-ever. I can sleep during the day, or at night. My favorite time though is between 1 a.m. and 9 a.m. (probably an age thing). Now, I can go a long day at work, come home tired, and not sleep all night. I can go to bed at 10 p.m. feeling good, tired, and ready for bed, and wake up 11 hours later wondering if I'm dead or not because I over slept and woke up "sleep drugged" as they say. On my days off, I spend most of my time, rather inactive, at home, and all my entertainment comes from my PC. On those nights, I'll go to bed roughly 12:30 a.m. and wake up at a more decent time, but still feeling sleep drugged.

My theory is, it's a problem with my discipline level. That being said though, I don't know how to fix that. It is also starting to leak into my hygiene upkeep...

Details: (for convenience)
-Water problem roughly 3 months now
-Food problem roughly 4 months now
-Sleep problem roughly 6 months now
-Weight 131 lbs last 5+ years
-Height 5ft 6.5in
-Schedule fluctuates between busy week to dead week at the turn of a dime

As always, hope to hear your good advice, and I wish more people were able to help like you can.

*hugs from a distance due to slight personal BO*

Soren

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Hi, Soren,

As you know, I'm not a doctor, but what you've written to me here sounds as if you might have a disorder of the hypothalamus. The hypothalamus regulates many things in the body, including sleep and appetite. I don't think you have an eating disorder such as anorexia, given what you wrote, so I'm concerned about this other issue. I would recommend--just to be safe--that you see a doctor and tell him about your eating and sleeping issues and see what he says. He (or she) might run some tests first and check things like hormone levels. There are also chemicals generated in your intestines and stomach that help regulate appetite, so he might check those levels as well. This isn't something immediately life threatening, but it is worth checking out.

Try that and then get back to me.

Hugs,

Papabear

* * *

I think that could be a big part of it, my brain clock being off, but the cause of that is most definitely my job. I work anywhere from 4-8 hours a day, at any time between 11 a.m. and 9 p.m. Along with no lunch break, all I get is one half hour break thrown randomly into my shift. There is no order. Other than that, I don't think anything would be causing my hypothalamus to act up.

Soren

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Hi, Soren,

The reason I first thought of the hypothalamus (and many different things can cause issues there), is the combined food and sleep problems. Of course, it could be two different things you’re dealing with, not just one. 

Circadian rhythm disorder is another possibility about sleep, which just means you could feel overly tired or have insomnia or even narcolepsy because your sleep patterns have been disrupted.

Although you say you work irregularly—sometimes 4 hours a day, sometimes 8—the more important point is whether those 4 to 8 hours occur within the same time period (say, between 9 am and 5pm, or pretty close to that). Because what you need to do is set up a regular sleep schedule. If you sometimes work a day shift and sometimes a night shift, that would be very difficult, but it sounds to me as if you are always working during the day. Therefore, you should be able to set up a sleep routine. Let’s say that routine is to sleep between Midnight and 8 am. That’s fine because you are getting a full 8 hours of sleep. What you need to do is make a concerted effort to always be in bed at least 10-15 minutes before midnight. To help you sleep, you need to do the following:

1. The bed, of course, should be comfortable 
2. Lights out! All lights! 
3. Don’t leave the TV on.
4. Don’t leave loud music on (although soft music or things like tapes of ocean waves have been shown to help).
5. Stop all videogame playing at least an hour before going to bed (such games can really raise blood pressure and make you too hyper to fall asleep; you should really turn the computer off completely, too).
6. No caffeine at least 4 hours before bed.
7. No alcohol. Yes, alcohol can knock you out, but it isn’t the kind of restful sleep you need.
8. Temperature of the room should be comfortable.
9. You might employ a little meditation before bed, or prayer (Papabear always says a prayer before going to sleep).
10. Once in bed and comfortable, take a moment to notice your body. You might be surprised to notice that some of your muscles are tense. Focus on those muscles and consciously relax them. I often do this, starting with my toes and working my way up (I’m pretty much always a tense bear). When I accomplish this (and have been good about caffeine), I almost immediately fall asleep.

Studies have shown that getting good, restful sleep at least 7-8 hours a day will also help you keep your weight under control. Right now, this isn’t an issue for you, but you’re 18. When I was your age, I ate anything I wanted and remained 135 pounds—now I’m 220 *chuckles*.

Routine can also help with your meals. Take the time to have a good breakfast that includes proteins (eggs), whole grains, raw fresh fruit (i.e., not canned), yogurt, etc. It’s better to eat several smaller meals than 2-3 large meals. Always end the day with a lighter meal (don’t go to bed overly stuffed). I won’t lecture you on how to eat healthily; you probably already know that.

Eating well and sleeping at routine times are what will get you back to feeling like yourself again. You already know that, but perhaps some of my tips will help you.

Hugs,

Papabear

* * *

In regards to my last letter, I didn't have an appointment with any professional family doctor, because I couldn't afford the visit or the time away from work. But I did ask my mom who works for Parkland Hospital, so it's kinda the same, since she has good medical advice. [main reason I went to you first is cause I'm biased against mundanes] she said I need to fix my diet and eat more veggies and less sugar because I'm starving different glands in my body while making others dependent on my caffeine intake.

* * *

Hi,

I agree with your mom that reducing your sugar intake is a good idea, also caffeine (although this bear cannot survive without a cuppa joe in the morning). Also, avoid artificial sweeteners. Aspartame is poison, and the other artificial sweeteners are not much better. I often use stevia, when I need something sweet, or honey. Also, of course, raw fruits and veggies, whole grain breads, and nuts. As I said earlier, good diet and good sleep do wonders.

Hugs,
Papabear

Dear Papabear,

Every time I think about my circumcision, I get mad. At first, I wanted to direct my anger at the "doctor" who cut off my foreskin, because I saw him as bearing the most blame/guilt. Since I was unable to find him, I thought of directing it toward my mom--at that time, I had thought "she's the one who signed the 'consent' form, without which the foreskin-ectomy would not have been done, so she's second-most responsible even if she did not give truly informed consent" and "my dad is just a victim, same as me; he's not responsible". Later, my mom apologized after she repeatedly saw me become upset whenever I thought about circumcision.

A few days ago, my dad agreed to read the anti-circumcision articles I had read (I haven't sent them to him yet). Yesterday, I realized that, beneath noble reasons for sending him the articles like "Dad's talked a lot about honestly examining why one wants something. I don't want him to be a hypocrite, so I'll have him honestly examine 'why did I want my son to not have a foreskin?'", there was "I see circumcision as a crime, and I want the guilty party—my dad, since he's likely the one who first proposed my foreskin be removed—to know the extent of the damages; I want whatever revenge I can get".

I’m /still/ bitter, even though I’ve made progress with foreskin restoration. I have two ideas for outlets (although they seem healthy to me, they might not be):

1) send my dad those articles.
2) play Skyrim, and role play my character as embittered by a bad experience he had; really get into the role (this is similar to my childhood tactic of “play violent videogame and pretend the enemies I’m brutally dismembering are the person I’m mad at IRL”, but with more immersion into the game world). I don’t remember how effective my childhood tactic was, so I’m not sure how effective this version will be.

Do you have any suggestions for healthy outlets?

Mitch (age 20)

* * *

Hi, Mitch,

You may or may not have read this column in which the issue of circumcision is discussed in detail. So, I’m not going to go over circumcision again, and, instead, I am going to address the practice of letting go of one’s anger and resentment about things that happened in the past.

With regard to your particular experience, you should first recognize that your parents (and the doctor who performed the operation) were not doing it to hurt you. They did it because they felt it was the right thing to do for you at the time. Even just 20 years ago, attitudes about circumcision were still in the “it should be done as a matter of course” phase. That has changed a lot since then, but your parents (and the majority of people in the world) were pressured by society’s norms to do what they did. (Not to make light of what you are suffering, but it could have been worse: be glad your mother wasn’t pregnant with your at a time when thalidomide was prescribed for morning sickness).

I don’t think that either of your ideas is a good plan: both just continue to feed your anger and resentment. Your purpose of forcing your father to read articles about circumcision is a passive-aggressive act designed to hurt him (make him feel guilty) as a matter of revenge, and it won’t restore your foreskin. Hurting someone because you have been hurt results in an endless feedback loop of pain and suffering and only makes things worse, not better. Your mother already acknowledges what happened and, I believe, your father knows you’re upset, as well. That’s enough. (And, even if you found the doctor, what are you going to do? Yell at him? Try to hurt him, too? Pointless.)

Similarly, playing Skyrim as a way to express your anger and hurt will only make you feel more angry and more hurt.

Human beings have a tendency to respond to anger and pain with anger and pain. This, put simply, is why we have never-ending wars in the Middle East and Asia and it is why we have terrorists. I think you would agree that neither of these is a good thing, yet you are currently of the same mentality that leads to violence. It is the wise person (a rarity) who lets go of the past and looks, instead, toward the future.

Therefore, instead of trying to get back at people, focus your energies on doing something positive. The first thing you can do is join IntactAmerica’s efforts and help spread the word about the negative effects of circumcision. Do this as a matter of educating people, not striking back in anger.

But the other course I would recommend more highly is to do positive things in your life that have absolutely nothing to do with circumcision. Instead, they allow you to find something happy to do that gets your mind off of negative feelings. Join other organizations or causes and volunteer your services to make the world a better place. There are, quite literally, thousands of things you can do, depending on your interests. For example, I just read about the International Ocean Cleanup going on this September (and every year). Well, before I go into a long list of charitable and environmental exercises, I think you get the point.

In other words, to relieve yourself of your anger and bitterness, substitute it with positive and joyful activities and causes. Look forward, not backward. 

Forgiveness is not an easy path. But you might start by buying your mother some flowers and giving both parents a hug. Tell them you understand they weren’t trying to hurt you and tell them you love them. You might be surprised how good this makes you feel.

Love, kindness, and forgiveness are the true cures for hatred and resentment.

It works. Trust me. Blessed Be,

Papabear