Is my mind telling me I'm transgender?
For the past 2 weeks I have been having serious thoughts on whether or not I'm a male in a female body. I haven't told anyone about my feelings yet, but I plan on telling my therapist next month. He's very open minded. For one, I'm not like most girls at all: I hate wearing dresses/skirts, but I do wear them when I have to. I dislike how my body looks and feels to me. I'm not nearly as attractive as other women my age either. I wear men size clothes and my voice is oddly similar to my brother's before he hit puberty. My family is LDS [Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—Mormons], so just questioning my gender makes me more of freak in their eyes. I don't know if I would be more happy living as a man, making those changes and such. I'm completely lost and scared. Shinopa (age 21) * * * Dear Shinopa, First of all, we need to understand the terminology here. Being transgender has to do with how you mentally identify with your gender, while being transexual has to do with how you physically identify with your gender. While you can be both, you don’t have to be. Some people desire to change their bodies physically, while still being happy mentally with a gender that doesn’t match their anatomy. Other people don’t want to change their appearance and physical attributes, but wish to be treated like and live like the other gender. Before you conclude that you are transgender or transexual, let’s take another look. You say you don’t like wearing dresses and feminine clothing. Well, nothing wrong with a woman wearing jeans and even suits. It’s actually easier for women to do that than for men to wear dresses. Speaking of which, a man who likes to dress as a woman but wishes neither to be transgender or transexual is simply a cross dresser. Then, you also have the “metrosexual” crowd, which is men who are not gay or bi or trans but simply like things like hair products and dressing in—how would one say?—less than masculine clothing. If men can be like that, then certainly women can be, too. Now, about your appearance. So, you’re not conventionally pretty, so what? So your voice might be a little lower than other women’s. Big deal. That in itself certainly does not mean you are trans in any way. You might be leaving out some essential details in your letter, but from just what you say here I would hesitate to say that you have either transexual or transgender tendencies. I mean, do you feel in any way that you are a man trapped in a woman’s body? Do you feel severely uncomfortable with your sex organs, breasts, etc.? In short, do you have genital dysphoria or gender dysphoria—meaning you simply cannot tolerate having women parts or that you simply cannot tolerate identifying as female emotionally and mentally? These are things you can certainly discuss with your therapist (and all good therapists should be open-minded, indeed). Before you go telling your parents about this—and definitely before you even consider the possibility of sex reassignment surgery—you need to be 100% sure of where you are going with this and who you are. Being transexual or transgender is about more than the clothes you prefer or whether or not you like the way you look or prefer football over ice skating. Remember, Society tries very hard to tell us what is right and wrong behavior for a male or female. Don’t listen to that crap. You have to learn to be you, and it’s okay if being you means exhibiting what some might consider masculine traits. You can be a tomboy if you like and still enjoy other aspects of being a woman. The main point I’m trying to make is this: don’t freak out and don’t make any rash decisions, and certainly don’t tell your family about this until you are more sure about where you stand. I think it’s great you’re talking to a professional about this. They can help you sort out your emotions. Right now, you are very unsure of the whole thing and my very strong suspicion at the moment is that it is Society that is getting you confused more than your confusion about your gender or sexual identity. I hope that helps some! Good luck with your therapist! Papabear
7 Comments
Rin
10/2/2014 01:08:56 am
Thought this answer was pretty good, but just wanted to bring up a few points.
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Papabear
10/2/2014 01:48:46 am
Wow! What a terrific comment, thank you so much for your input, Rin. I did the best I could here, but I must admit that this is an area I'm not an expert in by any means. I am forwarding your comments to Shinopa in case she doesn't see them here. I don't know if you will see my reply, but if you do, please contact me at zoobear863 at yahoo. I would like to discuss something with you. Again, thank you so much for your comments!!!
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Shinopa
10/2/2014 02:14:22 am
Thank you for your input, Rin. As a matter of fact, I'm well over the age of a minor. haha I may come across as young, only because this topic is new to me and I'm new to the feelings. I'm still interested in how these work for myself; I have had a male fursona for quite some time now and I really want to build up on that. Whether the physical change is right for me at this point, is a no. But maybe eventually I will decide to do so.
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Rin
10/2/2014 02:54:55 am
Ah, I apologize for assuming you were younger, I'm terrible at guessing things like that.
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MILLER MOORE
10/6/2014 11:50:48 am
OMG!! This is certainly a shocking and a genuine Testimony..I visited a forum here on the internet on the 20TH OF JUNE 2014, And i saw a marvelous testimony of this powerful and great spell caster called DR Ohehe on the forum..I never believed it, because i never heard nor learnt anything about magic before.. Not a soul would have been able to influence me about magical spells, not until DR Ohehe did it for me and restored my marriage of 8 years back to me and brought my spouse back to me in the same 24 hours just as i read on the internet..i was truly astonished and shocked when my husband knelt down begging for forgiveness and for me to accept him back.. I am really short of expressions, and i don't know how much to convey my appreciation to you DR Ohehe you are a God sent to me and my entire family.. And now i am a joyful woman once again.. here is his website: Email:([email protected]) Mrs Miller Moore from England City
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Bella tina
10/6/2014 11:53:10 am
I and my boy friend as been separated for a long period, I cam across different spell caster and they were all unable to bring my lover back. I was so sad and almost gave up on him when i met a spell man called DR Osimen, who helped me get my lover back. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldn't believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his contact if you need his help. [email protected]
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JOEL CANDRA
10/6/2014 11:54:42 am
My name is Cynthia and my ex-boyfriend dumped me 8 months ago after I caught him of having an affair with someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don't know what to do, so I visited the INTERNET for help and I saw a testimony on how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problems to him..... he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3 days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my peter came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Dr OHEHE spell caster, you are truly talented and gifted contact his email:[email protected]
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