Hello, Papabear!
Sorry for being secretive with some of my info, I'm an overly cautious otter. This isn't so much as a problem but more of asking for directions. I noticed fat furries are scarce and Google isn't a great help, I'm afraid. So, do you happen to know where fat furries can be found? (I'm a fat otter.) Similarly, I find it hard to find "greymuzzles"--both those who've been in the fandom since around the beginning and those who are at least in their 40s. In fact, you're the only person I know of, if you identify as a greymuzzle. ... Know what? I'll turn this into a "problem" I usually see you answer. Specifically, I am interested in dating fat furries and/or grey-muzzles (in the latter case, they needn't be fat furries themselves, just like fat furries), but want to keep it an online relationship/friendship for a long while. When I was searching, I found some forums and deduced that there are many young furries, and sadly, the usual discussion is about games, playing games together, watching movies, other hobby activities. I find these superficial because you cannot really get to know someone through the media they consume/games they play. Also, and this is only a very personal opinion, I find it difficult to identify with young furries because they are very immature. How do you view them? What trends have you observed running this website? I'd rather speak with someone who has the mindset of a member of the old furry fandom. Shelly Otter * * * Dear Shelly, There are many chubby furries and greymuzzles in the fandom. I guess you didn't know, but I run the Greymuzzles Facebook group which has nearly 1,900 members currently, all over 30 years (you're too young to join, sadly, sorry). There are also several fat furry fan pages on Facebook. One way to meet mature furries, if you can't find a group you like on a social media site (try Furry Amino, too), is to contact the artists who draw stuff you like and start chatting with them. Many, though not all, of course, who draw fat or older furs are also chubby or older, or they know furries who fit that mold and maybe could connect you. This way, you could start networking and create a circle of friends. And don't forget you have the power to start your own social group anywhere online and start inviting people to join it. I understand both your interests, actually. I, too, am attracted to hefty furries, and I, too, enjoy conversations with older furries who want to talk about things other than video games or having sex. How do I feel about younger furries? Well, gotta remember that I was a young guy once, too, and enjoyed games and, well, I guess the sex thing is still on the table LOL. But, seriously, I'm fine with furries of all ages, and many of them are bright, talented, and have diverse interests. I enjoy chatting with greymuzzles simply because we have more in common, having grown up with similar experiences, and, sadly, I don't keep up with a lot of the new music artists out there (although it seems to me that the best new music is found online by independent artists and not produced by big record companies—just an observation). Because the fandom is getting older (the modern fandom has been around for half a century now), we are now seeing second- and third-generation furries. The Old Guard, as I call them, and even 2Gen furries often grouse about the younger furries who are slowly changing the fandom. Long gone are the days of APA publications and things like fursuit etiquette are falling by the wayside, which disturbs a lot of the older fans. What we all need to realize is that things change, and as the fandom grows from a few dozen fans of anthro cartoons into tens of thousands of people worldwide, it has become a very different animal. The thing to remember is that we are all just here to have some creative fun. Instead of finding things that divide us into subgroups and cliques, we should celebrate and enjoy our commonalities, which, in our case, is the love of anthropomorphic characters. So, even though we might have preferences, we should not dismiss the chance to make new friends with people who don't necessarily fall into our desired specs because we might actually learn new things from them, which, in turn, will make us more open-minded and interesting people ourselves. As for your comment that you can't get to know someone by the games they play--in reality, the games people play say a lot about them. You might not get a lot of personal details, but there is a big difference between someone who is obsessed with first-person-shooter games versus someone who plays Words with Friends and Candy Crush Saga; similarly, someone who is obsessed with World of Warcraft of Dungeons & Dragons is probably a lot more interesting than someone who only plays Angry Birds (not dissing Angry Birds, it's fun, but you get what I'm saying, hopefully). Massively Multiplayer Online Games, as you likely know, include forums and audio and you can interact with a lot of people there. I used to play around with Second Life a lot, meeting a number of furries. In fact, the whole idea of fursonas grew out of online role play, making such games an important part of furry history and culture. I've nattered on too long. The point is, really, not to allow ourselves to stereotype entire groups of people. Not all young furs (you're an example) are into gaming, you just have to spend a bit more time looking. And there are plenty of older, chub furries out there. You might try some furry dating sites such as FurryMate or Ferzu (Pounced is, sadly, no more), and just put yourself out there, explaining what you're looking for. With a little tenacity, you'll find it. Bear Hugs, Papabear
1 Comment
This was an incredible read, coming from a more recent generation in the fandom, I noticed how dramatic the differences were when conversing with furries around my age and those who were at least 20+ years my senior. I found myself having discussions with much greater depth when talking with those who were older and more experienced in life compared to those around my age, some of the most sound advice I've received came from a majority of greymuzzles I've met while socializing at events.
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