Young Atheist Fears Telling Her Christian Mother

Hello, Papabear:

So a few months ago I realized I was atheist. I haven't told my mom, but I'm getting signs that coming out could be bad.

• She makes me read verses from the Bible, yet I cannot state my opinion on religion, which makes me think she's implying that it's okay that I can decide my religion now if I'm Christian, but can't decide if I'm an atheist.
• She does Christian signs everywhere. For examples, the knocking on wood, praying before each meal, and suggesting me to try church.​

I am really worried because I have heard of cases of being thrown out, disowned, and many things. I don't really know anyone real who I can talk to about this because my entire school is Christian. One morning we were taken to this place, which no one knew where we were going, and made to pray and say Bible verses, but I just kinda stayed quiet. I've only found one person that's atheist, but their parents are atheists, so I don't know.

Mozzy (age 11)

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Hi, Mozzy,

Exploring one's spiritual beliefs is a lifelong process for many people. Others allow themselves to be indoctrinated into their family's beliefs and never question them.  It is good that you are openminded and questioning what may be out there, rather than blindly following what others tell you to do.  I encourage you to continue to explore your spirit now and in the future.  Do this by reading. READ READ READ READ.  Read what atheists have to say, but also read Christian, Jewish, Muslim philosophers. Read about Zoroastrianism, Hindu, Buddhist beliefs. After a while, you will notice some consistent beliefs. There are some wise words said in every religion, but there is also a lot of intolerance.

I know people who are atheists. My sister is one. My mother is really an agnostic.  My father was Southern Baptist.  Of the philosophies I have explored, I have been most drawn to Wicca and Buddhism. In the end, I take a little bit from each philosophy and form my own conclusions as best I can.  

The danger of what your mother and your school does is that they seek to control people and not allow them to be enlightened on their own. Most people do this out of fear. The Church is good at making people fearful by threatening them with Hell and Damnation unless they do as they are told (while priests and ministers often misbehave hypocritically at the same time, you might have noticed). 

The problem is that you are 11, which means you have little power in how you lead your life right now. Now, about your fear of being kicked out if you tell Mom you are an atheist: the law is on your side here. It is illegal to abandon a child under 18 in this country. However, threatening your mother with a lawsuit or prison time does not make for a comfortable living situation.

Therefore, the wise thing to do is just do as you are told for now. Read in private as much as you can. Nod when your mother tells you her beliefs about God and Jesus, and just go along with it until you are able to leave the house and support yourself.

I know, that's not a pleasant prospect, but telling Mom you're an atheist will likely make life very unpleasant for you. In your own best interest, I advise you to just keep quiet about it as you are doing now.

Who knows what the future might bring? Heck, you might eventually decide to be a Christian again (not unheard of), and if you do, yours will be a much more genuine faith based upon your own thoughts and feelings rather than someone else's. And, if you decide to convert to another religion or just be an atheist, that's fine too because there is something in this world that is more important than what we believe or what religion we practice. What is important is how we behave.  Being kind to others and to the world and to ourselves is the best way to honor any god, or even a world without gods.

Good Luck,
Papabear