Ask Papabear: The First Advice Column for Furries!
  • Home
  • Letters
  • Write Me
  • Disclaimer
  • Good Furry Award
    • Nomination Form
    • Lifetime Achievement Award
    • 2023 Nominees
    • 2022 Winners and Nominees
    • 2021 Wiinners
    • 2020 Winners
    • 2019 Winners
    • Good Furry Theme Song
  • Advertise
  • About
  • Gifts
  • Testimonials
  • Fan Art
  • Resources
  • Ask Papabear
  • Home
  • Letters
  • Write Me
  • Disclaimer
  • Good Furry Award
    • Nomination Form
    • Lifetime Achievement Award
    • 2023 Nominees
    • 2022 Winners and Nominees
    • 2021 Wiinners
    • 2020 Winners
    • 2019 Winners
    • Good Furry Theme Song
  • Advertise
  • About
  • Gifts
  • Testimonials
  • Fan Art
  • Resources
  • Ask Papabear

You Are Never Too Old to Be a Furry

8/16/2013

10 Comments

 
Hi Papabear,

My question is: How old is too old?

I'm a 30 year old Australian male who has been sitting on the sidelines of furry subculture. Only recently have I decided to become more active in the community (via chats/IM/etc.) and with an ultimate goal to attend the U.S. conventions with a fully realized fursona/fursuit.

My question relates to my concerns with my age. From what I have noticed, furries tend to be younger (average 10 years) and I feel apprehensive with socializing and interaction as my thought processes tend to revolve around "aren't you too old for this?" or "will I have difficulty with furries more closer to my age who have been fursuiting for many years (group exclusion)?"

I know the community highly inclusive, however, I worry that there may be underlying sentiments among the community that I'm not aware of. 

Will my age be a non-issue, or is there any merit to my concerns as I do worry about my age being a point of contention; especially since attending US conventions as international furry is a big enough hurdle.

Apologies for the long winded letter.

Warmest Thanks

Antares NaE

* * *

Dear Antares NaE,

Your letter is by no means long-winded, so no worries. And, if your age of 30 were an issue, I would be in real trouble at 47 (48 soon). When you say that furries tend to be younger, and then parenthetically add “(average 10 years)” I’ll assume you mean they average about 10 years younger than you and not 10 years old :-3.

Yes, the majority of furries are in their teens and twenties. That’s because people of that age group are still often in touch with their childlike, creative sides, which has a lot to do with being furry and its appeal. We love animated films and TV shows, fantasy and sci-fi books, comic books and graphic novels, video and online games, and the like. These things are typically associated with younger audiences. And many of the furries you see around now who are young will leave the fandom when they reach their 30s or 40s, deciding that furry is too immature for them.

Then there are the hardcore furries. These are the people who are furry to the bone, and they will remain furry until the day they die because being a furry isn’t just something they do, it is something they ARE. Older furries are special because they manage to survive the adult world while still keeping touch with their inner child. It’s sort of a Peter Pan Syndrome thing perhaps LOL.

Anyway, you should have no trouble finding friends in the fandom. In case you were unaware, furries who are 30 and over are known as greymuzzles (I agree that’s a little young to be considered old, but, again, it has to do with demographics). You can find greymuzzle groups online at places like Furry4Life and Facebook (I founded a greymuzzle FB group, actually). These groups will all welcome you with open arms, never fear.

Furcons in the U.S. (and I’m assuming you are aware that Australia has Confurgence in Melbourne) often include a forum for greymuzzles, so I would check out the program schedule of the con you plan to attend and see if they have a greymuzzle meet. 

As for only becoming active recently in the fandom, that’s okay, too. Whether young or old, many in the fandom have only been active for fewer than five years. Take yours truly. While I consider myself a lifelong furry (having been into it as a child before I was familiar with the term) I have only really been active since my early 40s. There are a lot of greymuzzles like you and me, Antares.

So, while your age does set you apart somewhat from the younger furries, you will have no trouble whatsoever integrating into the furry community. Indeed, probably a lot of American furries will find your Australian accent and international perspective charming and intriguing. See if you can connect with some greymuzzles who will, hopefully, be at the convention(s) you plan to attend, and you will have a grand time. You are never too old to be a furry.

Cheers,

Papabear
10 Comments
Critter link
8/16/2013 05:10:13 am

Holy Moley! I'm almost twice your age!

Yes, sometimes it's awkward but I do my best to pitch in and help and with time if you're not a creeper people do realize that.

And if more "mature" furs were willing to come out and play it would be easier all around.

Greymuzzle power! ^_^

Reply
Yogi
8/16/2013 10:20:43 am

Papabear.. We are buying Antares a drink when we meet him a future con. He can help me push my walker :)

Reply
kelow
8/16/2013 11:44:02 pm

dear Antares NaE
hey i am a 50 year old greymuzzle and i just discovered my fursona
but i say "what age me old?" I THINK NOT sorry for the shout.
age to me is a non issue, if you think young you are young
so keep on thinking young and hang in their friend

kelow
ps.

maybe us greymuzzles can give the younger generations
advice and tips since we have more life experience
just a thought

Reply
Heisenwolf
8/18/2013 02:42:19 pm

Well, I can tell you that I've had mixed experiences as far as being an older fur(just crossed that 30 mark a few months ago). I attended RMFC a few weeks ago and while I can say the majority of furs were significantly younger, there were also older furs present. My primary friends in the fandom are mostly in the 26-32 bracket, but I also saw a smattering of folks in their 40s, 50s, and even their 60s.

The only problem I had was when I connected with someone; she was 20 and found the difference a bit hard to get past. Your mileage may vary, however.

Reply
Jeff W Dearman
10/19/2020 06:27:57 pm

30 is not old . wait till you turn 43 like me

Reply
Rowlga
8/19/2013 11:45:00 pm

In my experience it has more to do with maturity level than age. There are plenty furries to be found at any maturity level, and it's not necessarily age-dependent.

I'm in my early 30s, and the people I'm around most often range from 19 to 35 with a pretty even spread. There are others I never clicked with: people (usually younger) who are at a stage that I am glad to be past and find uncomfortable to deal with anymore, and others (usually late 20s to older than me) at a stage where they seem too "mature" or "normal" for me to feel comfortable around acting like a furry.

And that's OK. We don't all have to be best friends as long as we're not dicks to each other, but the point is there are plenty of all types in furry for pretty much anyone to find their best friends.

Reply
Jeff W Dearman
10/19/2020 06:27:26 pm

30 isn't that old. But when is too old too old for the furry fandom?

I'm 43. and will be 44 next summer is that too old for the fandom?

Most people average between 18 and 35.

Reply
Critter link
10/19/2020 07:49:37 pm

Never too old! I know folks over 70 who are active in the furry world. Only problem is the dumb virus has shut down all the cons here in the US. We need to crush it so we can go back to having fun like they are in New Zealand.

It's also way cool that someone is reading this seven year old post - some issues are perennial.

Reply
Dragonclaw
2/17/2021 03:51:12 pm

I think this topic will always be kinda relevant.
I also have the strong feeling that I am a little late to join the party with 28. Actually I had this „identity crisis“ to feel a little too furry for over 16 years and never decided to do something about it (mainly because I was ashamed of it). Still I have quite some concerns telling someone as they maybe think of me being peculiar. At least my gf supports me with it so it may become real someday. I told two persons by now, one thinks of me being somewhat peculiar (but I was 12 back then and the whole situation was strange) and one I told only a few days ago and she was excited (she is over 30 herself). Maybe there really is no „too old“ for it - but as always I think some people don‘t understand. Somehow I still have the strong feeling socializing can get complicated at cons, not only because of that pandemic but because of being kinda old compared to the average.
At least I can tell hiding it and telling yourself you cannot do it makes you not only feel uncomfortable, it makes you sick. In my case I never felt being right as I am, never accepted, even if only you don‘t accept yourself. If you enjoy life, nobody will even ask for your age if it is not important as you become the pounding heart of a community. I want to be part of it as I have the strong feeling I don‘t want to be „mature“ or „normal“ so soon (and probably won‘t become that fast if ever).

Reply
Critter link
2/17/2021 04:37:56 pm

Nicely said, Dragonclaw. The part about being yourself is so true in my experience.

The average age isn't that big of a deal because there is always a wide range of ages. You can find furs of all ages at cons, and furs who don't care what age you are. You don't hang out with an average, you hang out with individuals.

I hope you are able to socialize at a con someday when this crazy pandemic is conquered.

Stay safe and as sane as possible, everyone.

- Critter

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Go to Papabear's Facebook page

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Addiction
    Art And Literature
    Careers
    Coming Out Furry
    Crime And The Law
    Editorial
    Family Issues
    Friends Issues
    Furry Definition
    Furry Issues (other)
    Fursonas
    Fursuiting
    Health
    Illness And Death Issues
    LGBT And Gender Issues
    Loneliness Depression Anger
    Love And Relationships
    Money
    Odd And Ends
    Politics
    Religion And Spirituality
    Roommates
    School Life
    Self Improvement
    Sexuality And Sex
    Social Networking
    Work And The Workplace

    Picture
    Picture
    An excellent article on coming out LGBT to Christian parents.
    Picture
    My Rainbow Ark is a site for and about LGBT furries and religion and how they are not incompatible.

    Picture
    A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.

Home

Letters

Write Me

Disclaimer

About

Copyright © 2012-2023