I have heard this from lots of fellow gay men and I think there may be an element of truth for myself and that is an attraction to straight men. I am really just curious as to why that attraction might take place, as there is no logical reason they would share that attraction, as they are heterosexual. There is also the fact that many heterosexual people are scared of gay people asking them out and if this attraction does take place, it might indeed fuel their fears.
I was just a little curious if there might be any reason this may occur.
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What a fascinating question; thanks for posing it. I am not an authority on gay people by any means, and I certainly cannot speak for all of them, but I have some knowledge of this topic, and some theories. Let’s put them out there and see if we get some comments from other readers, shall we?
One answer as to why some gay men are attracted to straight men that I’ve actually heard from the mouths of some friends and acquaintances is that some gay men are afraid of, or not interested in, an actual serious relationship at this point in their lives. Therefore, making the moves on a straight guy is actually a “safe” thing to do because he’s never going to ask you to be his boyfriend or to marry him. So, on the off chance that a gay guy might convince a straight man to give him a bj or do some other stuff along those lines, there is no fear of commitment.
Another factor is pure attraction. I know that both I and my partner have looked at guys on TV or elsewhere that we thought were hot only to be rather disappointed to find out they were straight. Still, the mental fantasy may occur in the back of one’s mind (a girl can dream, can’t she? LOL).
There can also be the hope that some of these guys who say they are straight actually are not. Many are the ads on personal websites where a “straight” guy says to the effect: “Wife/girlfriend won’t give me what I need; looking for some relief today....” This all goes along with the very true reality that most people are not 100% gay or straight. It is normal in human sexuality to be a bit of both, though usually leaning toward one way or the other. Just because you find that getting some oral from a gay man feels good does not make you gay, by the way.
Perhaps some gay men see a straight man as a challenge: a chance to show them that their sexuality is more complex than “straight” macho men will admit to. Our modern American society, still suffering a hangover headache from our Puritan roots, has a twisted and unhealthy view of sexuality that has caused millions of men and women a lot of grief. Interestingly, Native peoples had a much better and healthier perspective on this. Women and men who exhibited qualities of the opposite gender were actually held in high esteem and called “Two-Spirit People.” This is because native peoples (unlike most Americans) valued a person’s spirit (what was on the inside) more than what was on the outside (gosh, imagine that!) Take a look at this fascinating article. http://www.firstpeople.us/articles/the-two-spirit-people-of-indigenous-north-americans.html.
Another interesting case is that of the Etoro people in Papua New Guinea. This tribal society believes that semen is a life-giving force, and so the men believe that having sex with other men actually prolongs their lives, while sex with women is just for reproduction. The Sambia people, on a different note, actually force young boys to have sex with men as an initiation right to make them less feminine so that they become fierce warriors.
I seem to have digressed, but it is such an interesting topic you’ve opened up, Fred. In short, though, I don’t think there is one reason why this happens. But, just to clarify for some of the prejudiced people out there, no, there is no ongoing conspiracy by the LGBT community to “convert” straight people into gay people. Sad to say, the opposite is not true because there are many people out there trying to convince us that being a homosexual is a sickness but that we can be “cured” or “converted” back to being straight.
My advice to straight men (or women, for that matter) is that if a gay person approaches you with an offer take it as a compliment that they find you attractive. Say, “Thanks very much! I’m flattered! I’m sorry, but I’m not gay, but you seem like a nice person and I’m always open to new friendships....” In other words, be nice. Don’t get freaked out. You aren’t going to catch gay cooties. If you are confident and comfortable in your own skin, just chill out and make a new friend. We are not zombies come to eat your brain, and we are not going to wave our fairy wands over you and make you gay. (Seriously, this is how some people think). Oh—and this one is priceless—we don’t carry secret rings with gay-cootie thorns that we then give to men to infect them with HIV. Thank you, Pat Robertson. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/27/pat-robertson-aids-rings_n_3824401.html
People need to stop freaking out about their sexuality. If we all could chill, we would have a much more civilized and less neurotic society.
I Give You the Secret Bear Hug. You Are Now Gay. Bwa Ha Ha Ha Ha!
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