Hey Papa Bear.
I'm in a mateship with a wonderful pup and it's a bit of a long distance relationship. We both agreed we weren't going to post on FA that we're mates until we've had time face-to-face together and have pictures of us together to prove that we're mates.
The thing is; my mate has been in previous relationships and I’ve become friends with one of his ex's who isn't really over my mate. My mate and I are getting antsy about when we want to announce our mateship together, but we want to wait like we planned. I'm scared though to announce it because I don't want to lose all the friends that I've made because they're upset with my choice. What do I do? Do I announce it as planned? Do I announce it earlier? or do I not even announce it at all?
* * *
Let me ask you this: are you ashamed of your choice for a mate? Because if you are, you should hide him, maybe store him under a rock somewhere near the North Pole, bringing him out occasionally to play with in secret and only when no one else is out and about to see the two of you together.
If, on the other paw, you love your mate and are proud to be in a relationship with him, then why are you concerned what your friends say or whether or not they approve? If you were playing a game of cards in which the cards were made up of friends and mates, a hand in which you only held a pair consisting of you and your mate would beat a flush consisting of only friends.
True friends will support your choice of mates and will be happy for you (unless there is something about this mate that is dangerous, but then I doubt you would describe him as a “wonderful pup”). False friends, concerned about past dramas such as who's been friends or mates with whom, will criticize you and will not support you in your pursuit of love and happiness. If you lose them because they don’t like your mate, then good riddance. You have your mate, and that is better than a thousand shallow friends. (BTW, not sure why you bring up being friends with one of his exes, unless that is what is causing the issue with other friends).
If you love your mate now and he loves you now, then the time to tell people you two are together is ... now. You don’t have to treat it like the announcement of a wedding engagement, but there is certainly no reason you should hide the love you have for each other. Love is a beautiful thing and should be celebrated.
Leave a Reply.
A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.