What is the point in life?
I know a few of the typical responses. Because there are things in life that can bring you joy and happiness. However, the emotional manipulation I mentioned in my other letter led me to suppress my emotions from a young age. What better way to make it easier to change my myself to fit the situation? And I have yet to figure out how to turn them on or if they are on I have no way of knowing if they are real or not. So that idea is out.
Then there is the idea of "if you died your family would be sad," but given my relationship with them or lack there of I can honestly say I wouldn't give a shit, pardon my language, what happens with them.
Then the final one is similar to the one above but replace family with friends. Except given my issues and lack of real social skills, I have great people skills, but not social skills, I don't build lasting or close friendships. I base this off of my track record with "friends." So even now I have plenty of acquaintances, but probably only one friend who is still just a step above an acquaintance most likely. And acquaintances come and go, so I don't really consider this argument either.
Though having said all this I should probably point out that I'm not suicidal. Mostly because I'm incapable of taking my own life. Because without emotion all I'm left with is logic and instincts, so I have a strong survival instinct. Or put another way, I'm too much of a coward to take my own life (I've heard the cliché that it is cowardly to commit suicide and the brave keep on living, but hard to feel that way when the only reason for not choosing death is out of fear).
So at this point I'm merely going through the motions day in and day out waiting for death. And as mentioned in my other letter, tried therapy twice with two different people and neither one helped at all. Sorry for the downer of a letter.
* * *
[Note to readers: here is the previous letter from Thief: http://www.askpapabear.com/1/post/2013/06/he-needs-to-rediscover-who-he-really-is.html]
Hello, again, Thief,
Humanity has pondered this Ultimate Question since our dimly self-aware ancestors first gazed up at the moon and stars. Greek philosophers have pontificated upon it, religious leaders have declared unbelievers in their dogma to be heretics, modern science has defined it in stark, unfeeling terms of “survival of the fittest” and “passing on one’s genes.”
I cannot tell you what to believe, but I can tell you what my own conclusions are.
I believe that no one knows, not even God. Or, at least, not the God of this current universe we are in. Because life and evolution is not simply about subatomic particles, DNA, and the betterment of society. It is about the evolution of the Grand Consciousness of which we are all a small part. We, you and I and everyone and everything around us, is a part of God, the Great Spirit, and the Being That Is One experiences and lives through our hearts, our minds, and our vision. We all contribute to the spiritual growth that is the evolution of God and of God’s slow Awakening into Self-Realized Consciousness. Another way to put it, is that we are in a present state of the evolution of God in which God is deciding whether or not existence is real and has purpose (it has long been my belief that if scientists keep peeling apart subatomic particles, eventually they will discover that matter only exists in our minds). The next phase of the evolution comes when the conclusion is “Yes, life is real and I Am real.”
But that cannot happen without you and every one of us contributing to that conclusion. You, Thief, have the Touch of God within you that grants you the ability (based upon Free Will) to choose your purpose, to believe that life has meaning, because you, as a part of God, are empowered with a small piece of the Creative Gift that made all things.
The purpose of life is the purpose you give it. Only you can give your life meaning, and by self-generating that meaning you give God more Life, and you give all of us a greater hope.
The Meaning of Life is not something you seek and find, nor does it emanate from the mouths of those who wish the throngs to follow them. It is something you create.
P.S. If that was a little too heavy for some readers, watch this for a little relief:
A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.