What Do You Do If You Get No Replies?

Hello!

I have a question about popular furs. I’ve always looked up to them but when ever I try to talk to them online, I never get a response. I don’t hate them nor do I want them gone, I just wish they would say thanks or hello.

I guess I kind of don’t like the fact they have so many friends while I don’t. It kind of hurts to see them with their friends and having so much fun while I can’t really go to conventions or do the kind of stuff they do. I live in a state that is literally just looked over and seen as another empty place.

Should I chalk this up to being just jealous or them not really caring about someone who isn’t as popular or interesting as they are?

Thanks,
Rivet

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Dear Furiend,

I've talked about popufurs in passing in various columns before, but I don't believe I have addressed the issue head-on just yet, so thank you for your question. 

Let's define what "popufur" means to start off. The denotation is, basically, anyone in the furry fandom who has gained a lot of popularity and followers for one reason or another; the underlying, less flattering connotation that has developed is that a popufur is someone who is, to put it simply, an elitist in the fandom who is also dismissive of anyone who is not as popular as they are.

I know of one or two popufurs who don't have a great attitude, but I don't think we should write off all furries who are popular just because they have a lot of friends and followers and automatically consider them jerks. That's not fair at all.

Let's take a look at your experience. You say you have tried to contact some popular furries and "never get a response." There may be some legitimate reasons for this. For one thing, some furries may be a bit gun shy about people they don't know who contact them out of the blue and wish to engage in dialog. Or they might be overwhelmed by people contacting them and forget to reply! I've done that, too! Ack! Another possibility is that, depending on what your message says, they might just think you were saying hello and not necessarily looking for a reply.

A good way to get replies from people is to ask them specific questions that would elicit a response.  If you say something like, "I am a big fan of yours and love your fursuit!" this might not result in a response. If you, on the other hand, say, "I am a big fan of yours and wanted to know if you made your fursuit or if someone else did, and, if so, who did?" this is more likely to get a reply.

At any rate, if you're writing to someone who doesn't know you and don't get a reply, don't worry about it. A bigger issue is communicating with people you do know. If they don't reply, then that is a lot more rude of them and you need to figure out why they are not reacting to you reaching out to them.

Hugs,
Papabear