Virtual Furry Life vs. IRL

Dear Papabear,

You remember me, right? I sent you an email a few months ago about talking to my parents about my beliefs.

But anyway, I have a completely different question this time. It's about the furry fandom. 

I have been a member of the furry fandom since I was 13, but I don't consider myself to be a furry. I don't consider myself to be one only because I don't believe in labels. 

Now onto my question. I was wondering if the real life furry fandom is anything like the Internet fandom. I have never been to a furry convention, and I've never met a furry in real life. I know there are furries in my area, but I just don't know where to find them. It seems like on the Internet, very much of the artwork is yiff, or fetish related. Even if it isn't fetish art or yiff, many more seem to have some type of sexual overtone. 

People drawing yiff/fetish art is more than okay with me. It just seems like it dominates the Internet fandom. Just look at furaffinity; 75% of the website disappears with the mature content filter on. 

To recap, I was just wondering if the real life fandom is like this. People tell me it isn't, but I just wanted to hear the opinion of an active member in the fandom. 

Sincerely, 

Steve. 

* * *

Dear Steve,

There is a big difference between virtual reality and reality, and, since you don’t like labels, that’s true not only of the furry fandom but of all things. Yes, online there is a LOT of yiffy art, animations, and screwing around in RPGs and virtual worlds like SecondLife.

I have been to seven furcons now, and Califur this June will make eight. I have also been to a number of furmeets, and I can tell you that these gatherings are very different from the online world. At furmeets and cons, furries chat, fursuit, eat, go bowling, play games, that sort of thing. If you go to a con, yes, you could probably find a room where there is sex going on (true of ANY convention of ANY kind—my sister is a Ph.D. and has been to academic conventions where professors act very... unacademic, shall we say), but most of what goes on is very G to PG. Even moreso with furmeets, which are even more public than furcons and people need to behave themselves.

But it’s not just because these events are in public; it’s because they are REAL. When someone is at a keyboard, hiding behind a digital shield, their inhibitions are dropped because they can be anything or anyone. I mean, if you wanted to, you can be a dragon with three hyperpenises that can have multiple orgasms. In real life, if you have to expose yourself in a bedroom, self-consciousness and shyness kick in big time for many people. Many furries are young, inexperienced, and awkward in the bedroom—many are virgins—and so they shy away from real sex (and good for them for not recklessly jumping into the fray). But there are some, too, who are yiffy IRL as well as online, and some of those don’t play safe.

They key is, Steve, that you can make of the fandom what you will. If you want to do the X-rated thing, you can certainly find people who will be willing to do that. But if you want to have the Family Experience with the fandom, it’s very easy to do that, too. I guess what I’m saying is that you shouldn’t be afraid of going to a furcon, furmeet, or just meeting some local furries. It’s not like we’re all sex-crazed freaks who are going to rip your clothes off and pounce you when you walk into a room. Most of my friends are furries and my experiences with them have been very tame and friendly.

It’s all about the furiends you pick. That will determine your experience in the fandom in real life. I hope you make the leap from the virtual world of furries to the real one. I have found it to be well worth it.

Bear Hugs,

Papabear