Very Short "Honeymoon Period" Indicates This Couple Need to Slow It Down

Hiya,

I need a little relationship advice... Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for a couple of weeks, but I just feel we need time away from each other. I know as my cat fursona, I can be independent. Her fursona is a wolf-dog and she can be very needy and sexual at times. I honestly wouldn't mind it (because I'm sometimes very dirty minded), but this is pretty much constantly and at the most inappropriate times. Basically, neck biting, boob grabbing, and butt grabbing are a daily thing from her; as for me, I'm all hugs. What makes it worse is that it's a public thing and I know how some people are easily triggered by this display of affection. I like her, but we still know so little about each other.

Please help me, Papa Bear!

Florance Sphynx

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Dear Florance,

Gosh, only a couple of weeks and you already need a break from her? Usually, new lovers can’t get enough of each other for at least the first year or two, or what is often called “the honeymoon period.” If you already are in need of a break, then that is a strong sign you might not be with the right person. You’ve already pointed out how your feline vs. canine personalities don’t mesh.

But I won’t tell you that you should break it off just yet. You also say “we still know so little about each other.” So, first try to get to know your girlfriend better. She, clearly, needs to get to know you better, too. She doesn’t understand how you are uncomfortable with public displays of affection that involve more than hugging. You can start there, but you should also just talk about all other things not related to sex and see if you really do click as a couple or not.

Sometimes people fall head over heals into a relationship before they know what they are getting into. A lot of this can start because there is some sexual spark between two people and they mistake that for love. As you said, you can get pretty dirty minded at times, and perhaps it was that period of lust that got her going, too, and caused her to think that you were on the same page sexually.

So, now is the time to, as they say, slow things down. It might have started hot and heavy, but take the time to take things to a deeper level. I wouldn’t say “take a break,” meaning not see each other for a while, because that won’t help your relationship; just move at a slower pace.

With luck, you will discover things about each other that you didn’t know and that you both really like, and you will both be better for it. But, if you find that you really have nothing much in common, then better to find out now rather than a year or two later when you have invested a lot more of your heart into it and the breakup is more painful.

Bon Chance!

Papabear