Last year I got a new job and around that time, a good friend of mine stopped talking to me. I tried to find out what happened but I was hurt. After a few months of silence after sending multiple messages, I blew up and told him he was being a terrible friend and he blocked me.
Losing him as a friend was hard and it took a long time to get over. However, I still wish I knew what changed and got some closure. I want to reach out but I'm not sure if it's appropriate, especially since this happened a while ago. Do you have any advice?
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The first thing I would suggest depends on whether you have any mutual friends. If you do, contact them and see if they have heard anything. Usually, such behavior from people is the result of misunderstandings or miscommunications, so, yes, it's important to find out what went on so that you can try to clear things up. If no mutual friends are available, perhaps you can scope out his profile on some furry social site or other, then go there, read his posts or journal entries, and see whether they offer any insights. Your friend might have blocked you in a messenger or email program, but he might not have elsewhere, you see. There is also the very old-fashioned telephone, but of course, that can also be blocked. Next, there is in-person contact. Does he go to a particular furmeet or furcon on a regular basis? Perhaps you can go to one of those and try to talk to him in the real world.
So much could be going on here that led to this state of affairs. Perhaps he was going through something personal and difficult and was unable or too tired or sad to contact you and then when you blew up at him he was shocked and hurt. Perhaps he heard a false rumor about you that made him stop talking to you. Perhaps he's just a jerk. You don't know until you can talk. When/if you do, start with an apology for blowing up at him, tell him your friendship is valuable to you and that you will do anything you can to reconcile (within reason, of course).
Bear in mind it is possible you might never be able to talk to him again, and you will never get that closure. Could be one of those lessons that, in life, nothing is guaranteed and stories often don't come to satisfying conclusions. I hope that it works out for you, however.
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