I've recently come out in my real-life as a trans man, and while not facing complete acceptance, it's going well enough that I am being accepted as a man by at the very least my friends. That's not why I'm here.
Now that I am being viewed as a man in the furry fandom as well, I've come to notice the treatment I got as a woman, which I originally assumed to just be infuriating quirks of less-than-stellar people in this fandom, were examples of misogyny--I don't have these problems if perceived to be a man. As someone long active in feminist circles, I recognize that I am now inheriting Male Privilege--and it's a daunting prospect. How can I continue my transition without grabbing handfuls of this privilege and, by extension, pissing on the women of the furry fandom?
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Wow, what an awesome opportunity this is to get a rare and insightful look at the division of the sexes within the fandom. You are not the first furry to point out to me that females are sometimes treated differently than males within the fandom. It is a fact that there are fewer women in the fandom than men, and that most of these men are in their teens and twenties. A lot of them are gay, too, but that really shouldn’t matter when it comes to treating women with respect.
There are some female furry groups out there, like https://www.facebook.com/FemaleFurries on FB and http://furry4life.org/group/femalefurs on F4L, but both of those groups have fewer than 200 members apiece.
I really think it’s time this topic got more discussion. Perhaps have regular panels at conventions about female furries and the issues they might face in the fandom. Maybe some of my femmefur readers can chime in here on the topic, and I brought it up, too, to my friends at FurMedia and they said they would do a show on the subject.
To address your question more directly, I would first of all say that I think “misogyny” is a bit too harsh of a term. I don’t think male furries hate females, I think it is more a case of many of them being awkward and shy around females (the younger ones, mostly, but some older ones too, I hear). Now, you may have garnered some “male privilege” since your change, but you don’t have to use that in a negative sense. You have a remarkable opportunity here to be a liaison between the sexes in the fandom because you understand what it is like to straddle the gender gap. If you take on a role of advocate of female furries, you certainly won’t piss them off; I would think they’d appreciate it.
Try joining some women’s groups, like maybe the ones mentioned above, or maybe even create your own, and start a dialogue with the ladies of the fandom. I think that would be terrific, and it sounds like it is needed.
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