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  • Ask Papabear

Torn between Two Lovers....

9/24/2012

4 Comments

 
Dear Papa Bear,

I think I'm in love with two people.

I was told to follow my heart but the thing is... I care for them both the same. I've known each of them for a long time. I know each also care for me the same. So... how do I choose? 

Kuvok

* * *

Hi, Kuvok,

You think you are in love with two people? That first sentence speaks volumes. You aren't actually sure you love them, are you, hon.

One thing I've noticed with many furries who talk to me is that everything with them seems to have to happen right now. I have to decide right now whom I love, what to do with my education, where my career is going, what to do with demanding parents.

All of them, including you, Kuvok, need to take a lesson from us bears. Relax.... cool it.... fall apart, in my backyard. Because lemme tell you something, Lil' Britches. If you act like that bee act.... uh uh, you're working too hard.  And don't spend your time lookin' around, for something you want that can't be found! When you find out you can live without it and go along, not thinking about it I'll tell you something true.... the bear necessities of life will come to you.... they'll come to you.

Pardons for quoting Baloo. But I think you get the point. You don't have to decide right now. My suggestion is that you explore your relationship with both of these people further (you say you've known them for a long time, but evidently not long enough to decide). The more time you spend with them, the easier it will be to figure out which one is the best for you. When the time is right to decide, you will know.

Hugs,
Papabear
4 Comments
Stilghar link
9/27/2012 02:57:12 am

Something else to consider:

Why not consider pursuing a relationship with both?

Polyamory isn't for everyone, but when it works - when all parties involved love each other and work to make it work - it is a beautiful thing.

Just food for thought...

Reply
Papabear
9/27/2012 11:42:50 am

You are correct that sometimes polyamory works, but in this case probably not. I talked to Kuvok offline and that just wouldn't work. Some things are not always included on the website. Hugs.

Reply
Stilghar
9/27/2012 12:40:20 pm

Ahh.

C'est la vie.

*hugs back*

Papabear
9/28/2012 02:25:50 am

C'est l'amour!

Reply



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