Too Much Advice Is Making Picking a Fursona Difficult for Him

Hi,

While I was googling why I was changing my fursona, I came across your lovely website. I've wanted to ask you, how can I have a more permanent fursona? Everytime I change, I feel bad and people are like "Thal, are you serious, you changed again?" I do it, since I get this sense of ennui from having to force myself into a role. I'm also afraid of having to have a fursona that's seen as trite like a fox or wolf.

For now, I am just going with the flow. Personally, I've been told to base some of my species off of my personality.

On the good side, I'm rather reliable and tend toward a soul that is rather more suited to smiles than to frowns. I tend to be self-sacrificing and a bit of a mediator. I'm also pretty self-aware.

On the bad side, I can stubborn and I've been told I can be arrogant. I also tend towards a defiant personality, and I don't hold like being around big crowds or having to work in a large team, like a sports team.

For more neutral or double-sided traits, I'm introverted, and tend to like work by myself or in a small group like I've said. I am also of a dominant ... at least when it comes to matters in the bed. Also, when I'm not sure, I tend to seek advice from people who I regard to be wise... which is why I'm typing this. xP

So, what do I do? have anything to suggest to me?

Signed,

Thal (age 21)

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Dear Thal,

Yes, I do :-) First off, stop listening to other people about what your fursona should be. A fursona is deeply personal and only you can decide what it should be and what feels right for you.

Secondly, don't worry if you change fursonas (or have multiple fursonas). That's perfectly fine. And if people have a problem with your changing fursonas, that's their problem, not yours. Don't worry your fuzzy head about it. My fursona, over the years, changed from wolf to dragon to bear (I'm quite certain it will stay bear from now on). When I was your age, I was still a dragon.

Thirdly: should your fursona reflect your personality? Not necessarily. It can, but doesn't have to. My feeling is that a good fursona can reflect who you wish to be, what you aspire to be, rather than what you are. You might have noticed that people choose fursonas that are often more outgoing, talented, adventurous than they are. Fursonas often personify (haha) the traits we are afraid of expressing ourselves. Great example: the real me (Kevin Hile) would be terrified to perform on stage. I've never even done karaoke. However, as Grubbs in my fursuit I performed "The Bare Necessities" on stage quite expressively. Grubbs is stronger, more easygoing, more confident in himself than I am.

Perhaps the problem you are having is that you are listening too much to other people and it is making choosing difficult for you. My advice would be to plug your ears to all those other voices and listen to what is in your heart and spirit. Do not force it; let it come to you naturally. This is how Grubbs came to me. I really didn't think of it much, he just introduced himself pre-formed in my head and all I had to do from that point is commission a fursuit.

Think about your fursona at quiet times, such as when you are lying in bed about to go to sleep or perhaps while in meditation. In a way, fursonas pick us, not the other way around.

Hope that helps.

Bear Hugs,
Papabear