Things I Have Learned at 51

Hi, Dear Readers,

Today, Papabear is 51. I wanted to take this time to write a column about what this bear has learned by this time in his life. These are things that are at the core of the advice that I give people who write to me, so perhaps they will help you understand where I am coming from.

1. You do not need the approval of other people (even your parents) to be a valuable and worthwhile person.
2. Success is not measured in how much money or stuff you have, but in how much your heart loves.
3. Listen more than you talk. You learn more that way. When you talk, you just repeat what you already know.
4. Just because it's published in a book (even a 2,000-year-old book) doesn't make it true ... or relevant.
5. If someone asks for your help, and you are able to give it without harming yourself, then give it.
6. It is okay to think of your own well-being first, and then, once that is established, help others. This does not mean being selfish; it means taking care of your health, sanity, and spiritual well being, because if you don't have those things then you will not be capable of helping others.
7. There are two fundamental forces in action in this world: the creative force and the destructive force. Devote your life to being a creative force.
8. Appreciate those who are in your life now. They might not be there tomorrow.
9. Live in the now, for the same reason as the above.
10. It's okay to make plans for the future, but don't be surprised if the future is not what you expected it to be. Learn to adapt.
11. If someone cuts you out of their life and you are unable to change their mind, let them go, and don't feel like you are a bad person because, for some reason, they have done this. More than likely it is a problem they are having, not you.
12. Blood is not necessarily thicker than water. Many of my family members are not related to me by blood, but they are no less my brothers and sisters. (You know who you are.)
13. Be kind to and considerate of people, animals, and Mother Earth.
14. Let go of the things you can't change. You will only stress yourself out fretting over them.
15. It's never too late to learn something new.
16. Learn to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. The only sin is not learning from those mistakes.
17. Learn to forgive others. Often, they, like you, have simply made an unintentional mistake. Even when they don't try to amend an offense against you, being angry and bitter about it only hurts you, not them.
18. There will always be someone smarter, prettier, or more talented than you. Don't worry about it. The only person you need to work on being better than is your present self.
19. Don't allow others to impose their beliefs on you. Instead, gather all the information you can, consider the opinions, listen to your heart, and then draw your own conclusions.
20. If you want to be an elephant, then be an elephant (if you haven't seen Zootopia, you won't get this one, sorry).

This is not everything I've learned, but it includes the highlights. Thanks for reading.

​Papabear