The Problem Isn't That She Isn't a Furry; She's Just Not That into You

Hello, Papabear! 

I need some relationship help, Ive been with this girl who isn't in the Fandom I have tried to introduce her but it just didn't appeal to her for the most part. The main issue is the fact that every date we go on she doesn't seem to be amused in any shape or form even the dates that she herself planned out.

I stayed the night at her dorm room when we both were still in college and instead of saying "Good Night" or "Sleep Well" I got "You know if my Dad seen you sleeping there, he most likely kill you." (I was sleeping on the couch in the living room she was in her own room that has a locked door.) I didn't sleep well at all that night and ended up passing out in class, Every date, any conversation always ends up talking about her dad or her family. I try and move the topic onto her or even me, but it always ends up back on that.

I guess what I am getting at is I want to break up with her, but I am not sure how to go about it> The spark that was there when we first met and within the first few months has all but died out and I want to try and not hurt her feelings and maybe still be friends with her. 

This is my first real relationship. Most of my past ones have ended with my mate cheating on me and that's an easy breakup right there, so I had it easy until now. 

Did I make a mistake of trying to date someone out of the Fandom and thinking I can try and introduce them to it?

Thank you for your time,

Arctickitsu (age 24)

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Dear Arctickitsu,

No, the mistake is not that you dated outside the fandom (I did, and have been in a nine-year relationship with a non-furry). Nor is it with trying to introduce her to the fandom (again, I told my mate I was a furry and have taken him to cons; although he’s not a furry, he enjoys the experience). It’s simply the mistake of not being with the right person, furry or not. Frankly, based on what you’ve told me here, I have to wonder what the appeal is with this woman, and I don’t blame you at all for not feeling a spark anymore. I mean, pardon me, but yuck. Did she really say, “You know if my Dad seen you sleeping there, he most likely kill you”? Is English even her first language? I have many foreign friends who speak better than this.

She’s already given you an easy out that you can use as an excuse. Here’s your line: “I really don’t want to be killed by your father, and you seem pretty uncomfortable with this relationship, so I think it would be better if we were just friends.”

I honestly don’t think she’ll protest. In fact, Papabear strongly suspects that she is looking for a way out of this relationship, too. So give it to her, and better luck next time!

Papabear