Telling the Boyfriend the "Big Secret"

Me with my late husband, Jim, at Califur.

Hello Mr. Bear,

I have only been in the fandom for about a year, and have been with my boyfriend for longer. (We're both introverts and didn't talk to each other for the longest. I kept staring at him, and I've caught him staring. I internally freaked out and didn't know what to do so I put all of my eggs in one basket and had flowers and candy (this was around February and my school does this service that sends flowers and candy to people who want them to be sent to someone, yada yada yada, I'm getting off topic) sent to him weeks later. Instead of my name on the card, I drew a picture of myself, as to not draw attention to myself from the rest of my classmates. He looked in my direction and said "I like you, too." I still dog him for that. And I panicked and said "y-you too". He still dogs me for that, too. I really do love him.)

When I'm browsing my art instagram account, I always slowly turn my phone away if we're sitting together on a couch or something. I don't really know his opinion on the fandom, nor have we talked about it. I don't know if or when we'll have this conversation, but if it DOES happen, how do I go about telling him?

Thank you for your time (I need to work on my story-telling skills),

Grayden Baretuff

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Hi, Grayden,

That's a charming story and I thank you for sharing it :-3 As for telling your boyfriend, you're worrying too much. I was in your position once, and I was freaking out just as you are. Finally, got the courage to tell him, and he was like, "Oh, that's interesting. Why were you afraid to tell me? No big deal." I ended up taking him to conventions and he really loved seeing the fursuiters and talking to people, even though he wasn't a furry himself.

​Other people I've told along the road were pretty much of the same opinion. Most, to be frank, had never heard of the furry fandom, and when I explained what it was, they were like, "Oh, it's kind of like Comicon" or other conventions and such. They were fine with it.

The key is to tell people honestly about it, and if they have questions, answer them frankly. The less self-conscious and embarrassed you are about yourself being a furry, the easier it will go.

Hugs,
Papabear​

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