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  • Ask Papabear

So, Older Furries Can't Be Affectionate??

10/23/2012

13 Comments

 
Papabear,

My question to you is: IS there a such thing as being TOO YIFFY?

I asked this on a facebook group, Furries. Reason I asked this was because of most of the local younger furs are telling me I'm too YIFFY. But in turn they are doing the same thing, showing affections towards each other in public, and it's cool for them. But when I do it, I'm called perverted.

--Coony

* * *

Dear Coony,

Ain’t THAT a double standard they’re laying on you! LOL. So, it’s okay for them to be yiffy but not you because you’re older than they are? That’s a big ol’ “WTF?” in this bear’s book.

(Now, to be clear to my readers, Coony is simply talking about public displays of affection, such as hugging and kissing, not yiff in terms of fornication.)

Papabear's feeling here is that you are being discriminated against because of your age. They are essentially saying that it is only cool for cubs to kiss and hug and greymuzzles should stand back, because, I guess, we might remind them of their parents, and who wants to think of their parents being affectionate in public? 

The young furs in your group need to get over themselves. It really gets my goat--to use and old expression (UPMO, for those cubs who love abbreviations so much)--whenever young people think they are superior. So, I'm gonna start a new feature here, called my Weekly Bear GRRRR at the world. Here's this week's

WEEKLY BEAR GRRR!

"Youth is not a virtue, nor is old age a sin." --Papabear

Of course, Papabear is taking the risk of insulting a large part of my readership. So be it. I am not saying all youth are like this, not at all, but there is a problem with many young people thinking they are the bee's knees (shit don't stink). I'm not blaming them entirely for this attitude. Today's Americans are part of a neurotic society in which kids are not challenged because we don't want to hurt their self-esteem, they go to schools that are dumbed down so everyone can get a passing grade (I mean, they allow calculators in math class, for God's sake!), and they are part of a youth-worshipping culture that is geared entirely to teens and twenty-somethings when it comes to TV, music, movies, and so on. So, no wonder they think a lot of themselves. They are constantly told they are amazing, even in those cases when they don't deserve it.

On the other paw, we have a huge disconnect where a large part of the young population is still suffering from depression and low self-esteem when they cannot match up to the illusion of beauty and popularity displayed on the glowing screen. I see this a lot in my column. This is fortified by bad parenting (there's a LOT of that going on) in which parents are falling down on the job of raising their kids, many parents even being abusive to their children.

The result: by and large, from what Papabear has seen, we have very few well-adjusted young people in this country. I'm not blaming them by any means. They are at a gross disadvantage because they are being poorly raised and educated. I think, actually, that many kids recognize this, at least subconsciously, and that is why they act out or, perhaps, become furry: they are seeking an escape from what their instincts tell them is a psychotic society.

This is a long, desultory explanation to get around to my point. Coony, you are basically the target of a neurotic society. These young furs have been brainwashed into thinking that being older is an ugly thing and that older people shouldn't be affectionate. Perhaps their own parents are nasty people and so they cannot come to grips in their mind that not all older people are cold, cruel, or uncaring, so they mock your actions (mocking is an instinctive defense when people are ignorant of or confused by a behavior they cannot comprehend). Perhaps they just buy into the whole Hollywood image (you don't see old people kissing on screen much) and are amazed that you don't fit that mold.

In short, YOU are not the problem and you are NOT a pervert, Coony. This world NEEDS more affection, more love, more hugs (as my friend Pawfan would say), and more kisses. We need LESS hate, less prejudice (including ageism), less callousness and cruelty.

Papabear happens to know you personally, Coony, and you are a sweet sweet furry. Don't ever change. You should set yourself as an example to these cubs and pups!

Here are some hugs and kisses for you (young people, avert your eyes or they might melt in your eye sockets!)

HUGS, KISSES, LICKS, YIFFS!

Papabear

13 Comments
Joe Moose
10/24/2012 03:03:57 am

Amen!

Reply
Brianna
10/24/2012 06:59:56 am

I distinctly remember my first boyfriend at the age of 14. OMG was I IN LOVE and no grown up could ever stand the intensity of that feeling...or so I though. Me and him practically invented sex you know!

Well now I am a greymuzzle and I know that is a load of shit. but yeah every teenager thinks that they invented sex and no adult could possibly feel that way.

Kids are also being taught that if someone holds hands they are "Committing a PDA" or a public display of affection and that this is practically criminal behavior. So when they are in the midst of their feelings they do it because well that's different.....clear case of do as I say and not as I do....

The sexual pendulum swings both ways. We are in an time of sexual repression right now but it WILL swing back to open sexuality at some point...it always does....

Reply
Paw
10/24/2012 06:12:43 pm

There needs to be more hugs! And in extreme cases....Relaxing pawrubs! The pawrubs part, pawfans are known to promote.

It's hard living in a world of critics! Co-existing around a lot of hypocrisy! Trying to reason with unreasonableness. Attempting to make sense out of senselessness!

One thing does hold true in the hands of time,.....Those cubs will be graymuzzles too! And they will be going through the very same crap they have put Coony and others through. Their response at that time might be a bit more violent than our reactions to their action. But, so will future cubs these present cubs will be dealing with, at that time.

Meanwhile, go have fun, and be yourself, Coony! And I'll do the same! I'm sure the rest reading this will do likewise, also!

Reply
Younger fur. link
10/26/2012 09:14:16 pm

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=479696638718054&id=138353956185659&comment_id=5574062¬if_t=like

The initial question had nothing to do with older and younger furries. I'm a younger furry and I see nothing wrong with older furries doing whatever younger furries do. You guys have more experience in life anyways, so go for it.

Sometimes people simply feel awkward when a couple is hugging and kissing beside them.. This applies to people who are young, old, gay, straight, furries, non-furries, etc, etc. It can happen to anyone and by anyone. I'm sure many older adults would feel uncomfortable around me if I were to publicly hug and kiss someone as though they were a boyfriend or girlfriend.

In addition, I don't see how being young has much to do with a Hollywood image, depression, or a low self-esteem. I'm not going to say it's a wrong generalization, but you definitely need to broaden the range of it and include everyone you know, everyone they know, and yourself in it. Everyone is depressed about something. A low self-esteem in this modern society could also be caused by the internet replacing our social lives, but hey everyone is online. Yourself included. As for the Hollywood thing..., well the last time I checked, my mom and her friends watch TMZ and hit up the latest fashion trends waaaay more than I ever would.


"I think, actually, that many kids recognize this, at least subconsciously, and that is why they act out or, perhaps, become furry: they are seeking an escape from what their instincts tell them is a psychotic society." (Papabear)
Uh, well, it seems that I've escaped. Hopefully my being young doesn't override that and keep me in my brainwashed, narrow-minded, stupid state I was just thought to have.

-Flinch

Reply
Papabear
10/27/2012 03:15:35 am

Well, yes, we are all neurotic in some form, old and young alike. Not everyone is one way or the other, damaged or sane. You're right that we are all damaged in some form or another, but I never called anyone stupid or narrow-minded. We are all victims of this society, and that is something no one can escape.

Reply
Flinch link
10/27/2012 06:29:53 pm

"They are at a gross disadvantage because they are being poorly raised and educated." "poorly raised and educated" poorly educated

-stupid


"Perhaps they just buy into the whole Hollywood image (you don't see old people kissing on screen much) and are amazed that you don't fit that mold." "don't fit that mold" my social standards are reminiscent of a mold

-narrow minded



Correct me if I misconstrued anything! o:

Papabear
10/28/2012 12:46:34 am

Dear Flinch: "Poorly educated" is not the same as stupid. You can be a very smart person who did not receive a good education. I give you Albert Einstein, whose teachers did not know how to deal with his brilliance and did not educate him the way he should have been as a young boy, so he did very badly in school early on. There are three types of human mental capacities: knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom. Knowledge is just repeating facts, which gets you a good score on Jeopardy. Intelligence is knowing how to interpret facts and solve problems. And wisdom is knowing whether or not to use knowledge and intelligence and when to do so. So, you are not stupid if you got a bad education, not necessarily, anyway. Neither is your interpretation of narrow-minded correct. What I was trying to get at with the whole Hollywood image is that people can be brainwashed by what they are told and shown repeatedly. Now, if you are narrow-minded, you are incapable of overcoming a prejudice or mindset. I believe that young people CAN overcome that mindset, if they are given better examples.

Thank you for insisting I clarify myself on those points. It is good to be challenged. Hugs.

Reply
Flinch link
10/28/2012 04:40:33 am

I feel that the prompt-based way of thinking taught in any K-12 school has absolutely nothing to do with being social. I also feel that even the freedom to ask more questions and be more of a critical thinker in college has little to do with learning not to judge people and developing friendship. This applies to both schools these days and the schools that existed centuries ago. Take it from someone who's been going to school recently, we're not constantly told we're winners and we're not given credit where it's not due. Education seems the same. There's bad grades when you don't do your work, there's bullying, there's cliques, there's bias based on race or gender, etc.

My opinion is that people just invest more emotion in everything they do these days, no matter what path in life they choose. An example is that people are spending way more time online doing the same exact things on facebook that they'd be doing in reality without the fear of retribution whenever they say or do something. It's total freedom. Another example is the edgy artist that always has to trump the previous act and make a piece that is more provocative than anything that anyone has ever done before. There's people trying to break world records, people trying to invent things, people trying to get a zillion twitter followers, etc. The far ends of the social spectrum in any scene, furry or otherwise, is definitely the product of being in such an emotionally charged society.

I appreciate the clarification! It took more than simply re-reading this page several times to somehow get something other than a negative vibe.

Reply
Papabear
10/28/2012 06:15:35 am

That's terrific input, Flinch, thank you. I should apologize to my readers. This has been a very rough few days for me and it got me irritable and feeling negative, and that came through a bit in a couple of my recent letters. Just proves I'm far from perfect. I try to always stay upbeat and helpful, and I kind of dropped the ball a bit. So, I am sorry if I got a bit too down on anyone. Thanks for understanding.

Drake Wolfe link
2/13/2013 05:07:31 am

Personally, I'd love to have a gray-muzzle PDA me; Ever since I started looking at Furry, and other... Stuff, in general, I realized I was gravitating towards the older end of the spectrum.

Sorry, getting off-topic.

The point is, I see absolutely NOTHING wrong with showing PDAs, and hope that this sexually-repressing age will be lifted in my lifetime, so that people can be affectionate in public without fear of retribution.

<3 <3 <3

Drake Wolfe.

Reply
Azure Paragon link
12/23/2014 07:54:28 pm

(WARNING: NSFW / XXX-themed / SUGGESTIVE POST BELOW)

I gotta bravely admit, after casually browsing this side during 6 in the morning Eastern Standard, reading this article gave me a good boner after having read the "Hugs, kisses, licks, yiff! part. Is it wrong that i'm starting to develop an imaginary intimate horny crush on Papa Bear?

& Older? Pfft age really is just a number in nearly all cases incl. this! XD

Frankly, I'm a sucker older men; more room for daddies & manliness!

With seasonal greetings,
~Azure

P.S:
Apologies for the raunchy dialogue. Now go enjoy some X-mas cum!! (fuck, i did it again! lol, no innuendo overloads intended ;3)

Reply
Papabear
12/27/2014 11:07:08 am

*blush* hehe, thanks!

Reply
Azure
12/23/2014 07:57:15 pm

(typo fix: I'm a sucker ~for~ older men. Better flow of sweet intimacy!)

Reply



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