I've been wondering lately if what me and my mate want is a good idea? Both of us like bigger guys and my mate is a gainer. Whenever we chat about how we see ourselves in the future, he keeps seeing himself gaining to the point of being housebound (which is pretty hot IMO), but the thing is, it's like he's in such a rush for getting that big. I'd like to have him bigger (like 4-500 range) and still have him waddle about with me and go places and see things. Am I too much of a short term planner and not thinking of the big picture, or is he trying to rush it along faster and not really interested in what I am?
Thanks for your time and help!
Owen (age 24)
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The question here isn’t about whether he wants to gain weight too quickly and too much or whether or not you’re correct in telling him to slow down his weight gain and maybe just be really big but not to the point of being housebound—the real point is that it is not a good deal at all in the real world.
I sympathize with your love of large men (I share it, to a point, with you), and it is fun to fantasize about such things; it is definitely a popular sexual fetish. There are entire subcultures based on it (BBW [big beautiful women] lovers for straight men, chub chasers for gay men). But in the real world becoming morbidly obese is extremely unhealthy. You are subjecting your mate to serious health issues, including the potential for type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, liver disease, stroke, and even cancer. There have been many studies of the effects of obesity on life expectancy and they show that being extremely overweight increases mortality rates up to 30%.
I’m sure you do not wish to cause harm to your mate, so I am writing this as a wake-up call to you. The problem is that what you want is extreme, and pretty much anything taken to extremes is not a good thing. This includes getting too thin. Hollywood and the fashion industry seem obsessed, still, with women being thin (although they often don’t concern themselves as much with men, except for the younger hunks). This sends a bad message to people and encourages diseases such as anorexia and bulimia. We even see it with dolls (Barbies), which have been shown to give young girls an unhealthy ideal for beauty.
The answer is moderation: neither too fat nor too thin. How do you know if you are too fat or thin? Well, there is a tool called the Body Mass Index (BMI) that many health care professionals use. Normal weight is considered to be 18.5-24.9. Yours truly comes down to 29.8, which is considered overweight and just short of obese (obese is 30 or higher). The problem with the BMI is that it doesn’t seem to factor in muscle mass very well. If you are a muscle bear, the BMI can’t handle it (example: 5’8” and 225 lbs and heavily muscled, rippling abs, etc., results in a BMI of 34.2, which would be very obese—not). I don’t consider myself grossly overweight. I go to the gym and, if I do say so myself, have pretty nice biceps :P ). So, the BMI is just a guide for people with average builds, really
What’s even more interesting is that doctors are discovering that if you are healthy in all other respects and exercise regularly, being “overweight” has no real effect on your health. Indeed, the National Cancer Institute did a study that found that moderately obese people actually lived an average of 3.1 years longer than those who were considered to be average weight.
Owen, Papabear advises you this way: keep moderation in mind. If you’re going to be pudgy, okay, but remember to eat well and to exercise, too. Keep the supersized chub fantasies where they belong: fantasy land. Both for you and your partner. Buy him a nice box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day, but eat them after a healthy meal. Then go out and have a nice, long romantic walk in the countryside together.
I wish you good health and love.
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