Hello there, I'm so happy to find this website. Its a bliss!
So my problem is I have a close guy friend and he told me not too long ago that he has a crush on a mutual friend we both have. But there was a problem. She's still in love with her ex, so my guy friend decided to move on. Just about yesterday he confessed to ME that he has feelings and he those feelings were always towards me and he wants me. But then I didn't reject him but I didn't accept either. RIGHT AFTER confessing to me and me not giving him a straight answer he asked the girl that I had mentioned before up there ↑ to be his girlfriend. That was shocking. She accepted and admitted that she has feelings for him too blah blah. The thing is that HE HIMSELF told me about this. 5 mins after confessing to ME!
I'm sorry if that was long.. My question is.... I think I should tell the girl of what happened but then again he told me not to tell anyone that they're together.. At least not for now and if I told her she'll know that he told me. And I don't want to lose his trust. So please help me here!
What should I do? I know he's a good person but with conflicted emotions.
Misère (age 17, Kuwait)
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Ah, the teen years, and young love.... A complex, emotional time when your raging hormones, inexperience, anxiousness about the world, idealism about love, and the ins and outs of social life all smoosh together into one giant undigested meatball in your stomach to give you a big bellyache.
Allow Papabear to lend you some perspective on this situation.
Even if this guy and that girl get together, chances are a few months from now they will have broken up to see other people. Chances are you will all leave school in a year and go on with your lives. And five years from now you will have completely forgotten about all of this and won’t even be talking to these people because you’ll have new friends and adventures in your life.
You said the guy is emotionally confused. I believe you. Do you really want a guy for a boyfriend who’s so bonkers in the head that he asks one girl to go out with him and then turns around and five minutes later asks another girl? If you’re smart, your answer will be “No.”
Let him have the girl. Don’t tell her he hit on you first. The only purpose of doing that would be because you’re upset and want to break them up by getting her ticked off at him. And then he will get ticked off at you and all three of you will be alone and hurt. If he’s a good person, as you said, why would you want to hurt him?
Let it be, hon.
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