Sex and the Fandom

Dear Papabear, 

I have been in the fandom for a little over 2 years and have been making fursuits since then and have came to a very concerning problem and I need yet your advice on this issue.

My parents and close friends always have known I'm a furry and they recently found out about the more sketchy side of the fandom [yiff ect...] And they think it to be satanic, even the fursuiters [they happen to be very religious] And they are now beginning to think that I am a part of an occult, how do I explain to them that the fandom is not like this?

Thanks,
-Monty


Dear Monty,

Sex and the fandom is an issue that gets talked about a lot. Indeed, I have already touched on it in an earlier column.

It is a sensitive matter. Indeed, since you have only been in the fandom a couple years, you might not be aware of the schism it caused back a few years ago. Very briefly: back in the days when Confurence was still around, a bunch of furs decided they wanted to be taken very seriously as artists and this meant no porn at all. When they tried to be financially successful publishing G and PG art and fiction, they didn’t have much luck, and called themselves the “burned furs.” On the other side of the debate were the “frozen furs” (taking a name opposite “burned”) who had no problem with furry porn.

Anyway, the stress this divide caused eventually led to the death of Confurence, which eventually got revived as Califur. Meanwhile, over in Pennsylvania, Anthrocon (AC) was founded by the furs who wanted to avoid the X-rated stuff (though they acknowledge it). As you might know, AC is now the biggest furcon in terms of attendance.

So, when you say that “the fandom is not like this,” the truth is that part of the fandom does enjoy furry porn, while another part of the fandom does not.

Papabear’s personal opinion on this is that people (furries and nonfurries alike) who criticize furries who enjoy furry porn need to get a life. Sexuality is a normal, healthy part of human nature. As long as it is legal and between consenting adults (i.e., e.g., Papabear is against pedophilia, rape, and all forms of cruelty and abuse), then there is nothing wrong with it.

Let me emphasize, too, that furry porn has absolutely nothing to do with Satanism. Many narrow-minded people who do not understand or agree with something automatically label it as “evil,” “Satanic,” “obscene,” or other such epithets. I give you the current debate about same-sex marriage as a case in point.

The reality of human sexuality is complex. You and the people you know who are objecting to furry porn probably have no idea what kinds of crazy things go on in people’s minds when it comes to sex. Papabear assures you that, right now, as you read this, there are some straight-laced, right-wing, “moral and upstanding” American citizens out there doing some fabulously kinky things to each other that never go beyond closed doors, many of them more disturbing than any of the furry porn you might have seen.

A lot of what Papabear just wrote has little to do with your letter; he just wanted to get it out of the way for the record.

Monty, if you are not into furry porn, then that’s fine. There are many furries out there like you, and what you need to do is explain to your friends and family that you are not a furry who is into porn. Show them, if you haven’t already, the variety of sites out there that are clean, such as Furry4Life.com, Christian Furs (http://christianfurs.net/),  and many of the furcon websites out there. Explain to them that, just as there are nonfurry sites that are clean and nonfurry sites that have porn, there are furry sites with porn and those without it.

Would they condemn you as a pervert for using the Internet just because there are porn sites out there? Of course not. Similarly, they should not condemn you for being a furry just because some furry sites have porn on them.

I hope that makes sense, and I hope it helps!

Bear Hugs,

Papabear