Seeking Friends Outside the Fandom

Dear Papabear,

I've been a furry for a few years now, and I'm wondering if you can give me some advice. I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome last year and was hoping you had advice on how I can overcome a problem I got. Whenever I'm at a furry convention, and in all honesty I don't go to that many, I'm all open and ready to greet furs I don't know and make new friends. But, when I'm someplace else, like church, I just sit there while others go and talk to their other friends. How can I take my energy that I have when I'm at a furry convention over to help me so I'm not just a guy who has no friends?


Sincerely,
Jake Otter

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Dear Jake,

What an excellent question. I meet a lot of furries in the fandom suffering from Asperger’s syndrome, a form of autism that makes social interaction difficult. It’s interesting to Papabear that furries with Asperger’s are able to interact with other furries, but, like you, have trouble outside the fandom.

You do not say whether or not you are receiving treatment for Asperger’s, but judging by your letter, it appears you are not getting any professional help or you probably would not be writing to Papabear. For some furries, paying for therapy or medication is not an option because they do not have much money and are not covered by insurance.

Depending on how extreme your AS is, you might be able to perform some self-help treatments. There is a wonderful woman in Canada named A. J. Mahari who has AS and has created as website called “Asperger’s Adults Differently Abled” at http://aspergeradults.ca/.  She has posted so much first-hand information here that I recommend this site to anyone with AS.  The site focuses a lot on self-help techniques, and there is an entire section offering advice on how to better form social relationships and relate to others when you have AS.

You should be able to find your answers there, Jake, which will help you with your situation in church.

Big Bear Hugs to You!

Papabear