Saying "Yes" Can Cause More Problems than Saying "No"

Um, hello, Papabear... 

If it's no trouble, I need your advice. To preface my question, I have a girlfriend in real life and have a very hard time saying "no" to others. Now on to my purpose for writing, I was asked to be the mate of a friend online and I said... Yes! He seems like a very kind and loving person, but it was so sudden... Honestly, I am not sure what to do here. I fear that this new relationship is only a result of puppy love, as I have truly only met this guy recently through an art stream that he runs. Now, sorry for rambling, onto the real question. What do I do here? I mean, what if it IS puppy love, and what of my girlfriend? How can I deal with this with the least hurt feelings from either party? Honestly, all I care about is keeping the others involved from being hurt... I suppose I just need help figuring this out, and if you can help, some advice.

Thank you for your time and consideration, please help me if you can... 

~Lethe

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Dear Lethe,

So you have a hard time saying “No.” Also, in your online form, you say you are 15 years old. The combination of the two leads me to suspect you said “Yes” to this proposal was a combination of youthful impulsiveness and your desire to please others. You really didn’t think it through, did you? I mean, did you stop and say, “Wait a minute, I already have a girlfriend” before you said yes?

I think you need to pause, take a deep breath, and think this through. Do you love your girlfriend? If so, why would you dump her for someone you just met and know very little about? On the other paw, if you don’t love your girlfriend (i.e., perhaps there is a subconscious reason why you leapt at the offer from this other person) then there is the option of dumping her and pursuing this puppy love and seeing if it develops into something special.

Either way, since I’m guessing you’re not looking for a ménage à trois, you’re going to have to let one or the other go. This will be a lesson for you to think before you act in the future because now you are going to have to hurt someone’s feelings, no matter what you do. And learn to say “No.” That is an important lesson in life that can save you and others a lot of grief; and keep in mind it is okay to say it.

Good luck,

Papabear