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Responding to the "NJ FurBQ" Incident and Furry Paranoia about the Media

7/7/2012

15 Comments

 
[Ed Note: I recently found out what actually happened at the event discussed here. It was truly an eye-opener. However, I have been sworn to silence on the matter. It's too bad, because the truth would dispel a lot of gossip. In the meantime, Papabear has responded as best he could given the facts he was able to obtain secondhand. However, if anyone reading this knows the people who ran the NJ FurBQ, I urge you to ask them to come out publicly with the truth. The most informative and balanced report I've seen online is here: http://www.nj.com/mercer/index.ssf/2012/07/animal-themed_party_at_west_wi.html.]

The Furry Fandom Nightmare

Hi, I may not have a name for a Fursona and you may notice the words on top: "The Furry Fandom Nightmare" and yet this Question might not be meant to be public... But I may give it a shot. I am not very sure if this is a proper question, you do not have to post this or Answer, or both if you do not want to. Especially if this is a lot of misunderstanding info.. . .

Ever heard about the news about this furry meeting party (NJ FurBQ) that there was possibly a certain behavior going on there? When I saw "all" the fear and the report, I was like "What is the big deal? Even if its true, what’s with all the fear over it? People probably was not hurt." And a lot of people in the Furry Fandom acted all burned with there "Fandom is not like this" (The whole Fandom isn't but part of it might be.) "We need to ban all these people!" "They need to keep their mouths shut about there sexual lives!" "We need to remove all the stuff that could be "offensive"!" "Sick!" And all the evidence talk like if it was a bad crime. (It made it look like a crime scene!)

Its fear just because of fursuits I think. And all this crap I have seen for the past months going on. And I have to say: This is NOT how I picture a Open, Warming, Accepting Fandom. Ever sense the first time: I have never seen the fandom the same way for a long time.

I think I know,  it’s mainly to avoid something about society, but I don't think its the answer and think society is the one that needs to be more open about sexuality so all this fighting going on will end in a more better way.

There was a lot of other crap I have seen, I don't want to explain all, its making this letter too long!

I don't even know if this is a proper question, but I am going to try to make it one and connect it with above:

The Question is, is the Furry Fandom ever going to be more TRULY open someday? Will people be able to be accepted Equal and not be forced to put expressions in private when yet, society gets to express thiers? Like I know people have a legal right, I think, but was wondering if in the future, all this fear and fighting wont come up after or something.

Whenever I see talks about stuff (Like that NJ FurBQ) and I see all this fear going on, I get scared so bad about the future. It might make a lot of others and maybe me to stay more in the closet while other Furries get to come out.

Maybe I miss understood something, but I kind of doubted it for this one.

Anonymous

* * *

Dear Anonymous Furry,

Your question provides Papabear with the opportunity to comment on the NJ FurBQ incident and everything to which it relates in the Fandom, so thank you.

A little background: the NJ FurBQ is held twice a year (Memorial Day and Labor Day) at the Twin “W” Rescue Squad (a charitable organization) facility in New Jersey. It’s somewhere between a large furmeet and a furcon, offering fursuiting facilities, games, a bar, live DJs, and outdoor grills for noms, of course.

Since Papabear was not at this FurBQ, I do not know what actually went on there (some furries claim it has been totally blown out of proportion, which I won’t deny as a possibility). For those of you who have been living under a rock and have not heard about it, supposedly what happened was that two fursuiters went off somewhere nearby and began yiffing (or, at least, passionately making out) in broad daylight. Some people, including park security, apparently, saw this and the shit hit the fan. The furry group involved has, rumors say, been banned from the facility (their website http://njfurbq.webs.com/ says nothing about it, so Papabear has no official word on the matter). There was a clip of the TV news story on YouTube, but it has been removed by the user for some reason.

The story, whether true or not, hit a raw nerve. Why? That, my furiends, is a long story. Here is how Papabear understands it from talking to a number of people over the years, starting with some history:

When the first big furcon, ConFurence 1990, was held in Costa Mesa, California, the organizers were concerned they would not get enough attendees, so they opened up the con to what were apparently some fairly sleazy people who were into some pretty kinky stuff (S&M, half-naked slaves on leashes, and such) and were not shy about showing off in public. The media got wind of this and the result was some negative publicity. Even though the next ConFurence considerably cleaned up its act, the damage had been done. Furries became increasingly shy and suspicious of the media after that. This was not helped by such things as the infamouse CSI episode “Fur and Loathing” http://www.csiseries.com/csi-season-4/csi-season-4-episode-5-fur-and-loathing/ which portrays furries only as people who like to have sex in fursuits.  Here’s an interesting response to the video by a furry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRN7yPvUVhU.

The policy of many furcons has been to ban or restrict the media. Here is Uncle Kage, chief organizer of Anthrocon, at the 2011 Anthrocon talking about the subject of the media and furries: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5HyMH7YXFM and http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_732134&v=OgVUzqw1LKc&src_vid=K5HyMH7YXFM&feature=iv.  Kage asserts that furries are their own worst enemy, often embarassing themselves in front of the media, so it is best just not to talk to the media at all. He goes on to say we should refer to ourselves as people interested in cartoon animals (when talking to nonfurries) and to avoid describing ourselves by what we are not because that puts ideas in people’s heads (e.g. “We are not pedophiles” so people automatically have an image in their heads that we are pedophiles). Kage, as one can see from the video, is very suspicious of the media and feels that they will do anything to twist the story to make furries look like sex-obsessed deviants.

Kage’s idea that the media should be excluded from furry events as much as possible is a bit of overkill, although such views have moderated somewhat over the years (see http://www.anthrocon.org/rules-conduct#media). Papabear’s mate has worked in the media for nearly 40 years, and he advises that keeping furcon doors closed to the media just arouses suspicion that something nasty is going on. Papabear agrees with Kage that we should not describe ourselves by what we are not, but we should also not be ashamed of ourselves and try and hide.

Other cons also adopt policies that reveal how wary we are of the media. The FurtherConfusion official policy allows some restricted media access and also discourages con attendees from speaking to the media (http://www.furtherconfusion.org/2013/policies/press-policy); as another example, Midwest Furfest also requires media personnel to have a badge or they cannot conduct interviews or videotape anything (https://www.furfest.org/page/code). And Califur’s policy is even more restrictive: http://www.califur.com/2012/?page_id=127.  To be fair, many conventions put restrictions on the media. Comic-con, for example, makes it very difficult to get a press pass. It is wide to not make a private convention into a free-for-all for the media, but an air of paranoia about TV and radio stations persists to this day.

While it is true that there is some negative stuff out there, here is evidence that the media is not “out to get us.” They might not get everything right, but the stories below are certainly not malicious:

  • A KARE News 11 story about ConFurence 9 from 1997: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6h2IkMXMJXs
  • WSVN story http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImpL4odba4Q
  • CBS story of FurtherConfusion 2010: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqNQPJwQEgI
  • Pittsburgh Post-Gazette story on AC 2011 featuring Uncle Kage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pnJrRzDL_4
  • G4TV.com coverage of Furry Weekend Atlanta: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_DHtM8p6uY

Also, the story in New Jersey (sorry I don’t have a link) was not all that negative, really. There are more stories out there, but that’s a good sample for you. Some, like G4TV, touch a bit on the kink, but certainly don’t obsess about it. It was not, by the way, difficult to find these more positive videos. Papabear believes it is high time we stop fearing the media so much.

Okay, so that covers the media issue fairly well, I believe. Now, back to your question, which was why can’t the fandom be more “open.” Papabear takes this to mean “why can’t we be more open about the sexual nature of furry?”

The answer is we can be a bit more open about it, but the problem lies in how we do it and how we handle society’s reaction to it. Papabear believes that, within the furry community, we are very accepting of our sexuality. Furries open their arms to people of all sexual orientations and practices. More than any other group of people, I feel that we are the least discriminating. Everyone is welcome, no matter the race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, nationality, or whatever.

But we live in a much broader society, one that is not always accepting of people, especially those who do not conform to what is considered “normal,” which, in America anyway, means heterosexual, non-kinky sex practiced by married couples in hushed tones behind closed doors and only for the purposes of procreation (boring). Overt sexuality makes many Americans uncomfortable unless that overt sexuality is used to sell cars or beer or movie tickets or Carl’s Jr. jalapeno patty melts http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UGoVioteJk; then it is okay. To this bear’s mind, such attitudes about sex are twisted and neurotic in themselves, but that is what is accepted in this country.

So, back to the New Jersey incident. You seem to think that people have the “legal right” to do what these furries are rumored to have done. In fact, you would be wrong about that. Public indecency laws are common throughout the country. It is not legal for you, for example, to go naked in a public park, and having sex in, say, a public toilet is also against the law. So, it is not your legal right to behave in such a way.

The police had a right, therefore, to detain the two furries performing sexual acts in public (again, I’m not saying this happened for sure, but if it did, they could be arrested for it). Banning all furries from the park, if true, was an overreaction.

The reaction to the FurBQ news, and calls for “banning” the accused furries who were involved in the supposed indecent behavior, is not a call to restrict furry sexuality but rather to do something to curtail such foolish behavior, or at least punish those who are seen as giving furries a black eye.

That the furry fandom is so loosely and informally organized is why this cannot happen. There is no official furry body that can “kick someone out” of the furry fandom because you don’t have to belong to an organization to be a furry. Therefore, nothing can be done about these two furries, if, indeed, they did something at all. All the yelling on the Internet is a result of people’s frustration about not being able to act upon this.

Papabear believes there are some things we could do to clean up our image, if we wanted. Here are some suggestions:

  1. A big part of the problem is furporn on the Internet. Imagine yourself as a mundane who has just heard about furries and is curious as to what and who we are. You type in “furries” on Google and get a long hit result. On top of that list is the Wikipedia entry, which contains an entire section on furry sexuality, the Urban Dictionary of furry, which is a pretty kind treatment of furries, but which contains quite a bit on yiff (nice succinct point the UD makes: “Furries get a lot of crap thrown at them on the internet in relation to the activities of the minority of their fanbase. They have a reputation to reacting to this in an over the top manner [such as comparing their treatment to the Holocaust], which realy doesn't do them many favours.”) and such sites as GodHatesFurries.com within the top 10 hits. It gets worse if you go to any of the furry art sites, though, all of which make it amazingly easy to find pornography. This, I believe, is highly damaging to our reputation but also incredibly easy to fix: simply put all the adult stuff in age-restricted sections of the sites; doesn’t mean the sites have to charge for it, but it does make it less likely that people not looking for porn will stumble upon it and form a quick opinion of us.
  2. In the art rooms of furcons, they already have age-restricted areas for art that can be considered pornographic. The same treatment should be made for the Dealer Dens. That is, there should be a separate room for the porn and a separate room for non-porn. 
  3. Cons should also issue badges that are clearly marked for attendees who are under 18. These attendees would be much easier to restrict from the mature areas of a con. [7-25-12: It's been brought to my attention (thanks, Cool Furries) that furcons do actually issue badges for minors; I double checked with AC, FC, and MFF and they all confirmed this--Papabear just hasn't seen any at the cons he's been to. If there are some furcons that don't do this, they should.]
  4. Establish a formal body of some sort that can represent the furry community and deal directly with the media to correct the media on any misperceptions and misconceptions they may have (such as all furries are fursuiters and fursuiters enjoy fursuit sex—the vast majority do not). Right now, all we have is Uncle Kage. He tries his best, but he’s only one person. The formal body would provide news releases and announcements geared to dispel misinformation about furries.

Whether or not something unseemly happened at the New Jersey FurBQ, it is clear to this bear that more can and should be done about furry image paranoia, both in how outsiders feel about us and how we ourselves behave in public in front of outsiders. It goes both ways.

So, Anonymous, I hope that what I have written so far explains a bit why this was treated, right or wrong, as such a big deal.

It sounds to Papabear like you feel you can’t be open and express yourself within the furry community. I think you are not really correct on that point. Among furries, you can be yourself, I truly believe that and encourage you to do that.  I also believe that, with more time, we will gradually get over our fear of the media and such.  It is already happening to a certain degree, but it will take time and patience.

Hugs,

Papabear

15 Comments
Anonymous
7/7/2012 03:04:27 pm

Hi, I am the guy who wrote this letter (The Question part). I had a user name on here but I just wanted to be even more Anonymous even more. Hard to explain.

But anyway:
I notice in the letter, one part was removed, about the sadly aware thing that I put down somewhere at the top? I wonder why it was?

I have to say, that was one large reply, when it comes to a reply, I didn't expect that much info about the top part. :P I might not check all of the links, I am kind of scared because there might be negative "We are not those freaks" "energy" absorbing into me. Like because its like they are saying "We >all< are not and yet they call them freaks idk.

When it comes to whats legal, has the right. I kind of thought the "Yiffing" scene (If there was one) at that one place was maybe legal.. Well I heard it was just simulation, if you mean actually having sex, then yeah that would be having sex in public and that might be illegal. And the reason why I was like "So what" was because if it was just two non-fur suiting, I was thinking no one would care, and yet it may have not been banned. And if its just pretending, and if that was legal.

Society: Yeah, I know its how society reacts, and the problem was how Furry Fandom was trying to "Hide" it because of how they acted. That is the main problem I have had, some furs try to react all burned out so society can be more "open". And I was hoping a better way in a: Can't we just teach society to be a little more understanding about it? Since society seems to be more limited, trying to make the fandom the same way will just not work out for many people in the fandom. Because the limited part of society seems to be unfair to certain sexualities. And was hoping someday, that could change its self.
I'm not saying to keep making stereotypes or maybe over do it, I mean I was hoping sexualities outside can be fairly expressed in the same Equal way as Heterosexuality. (18 DVD, Books, 18 Public places) If the fandom was doing it more that way and not make the Internet, public non-internet overly sexual but more in a fair Equal way, then I feel relief although, since due to the way of how the society is, it might be too strict and not fair. And the actions of the fandom of banning, policies in some areas might be leading to that instead of a more Fair way if you know what I mean.

When it comes to expressing my self, I was hoping in the future Society would be more open about the sexuality so I can keep going with in that area and connect my "Other side". I wasn't only wanting to express my self only in the Furry Fandom. Because of the fact, that my life is more in a area of what Society is more open about I think. And someday, I wanted to express my self more fully and even my sexuality (No not too public scenes, more fair and "limited" in a fair way, legal I guess. If I ever) that same way as if society gets to express theres and didn't want to keep mine hidden "forever".
And I do wonder if the outside would get more open more fairly someday... I also found an article on Flayrah talking about Furries are already aware or something, it sort of talked the same kind of way when it comes to society I think. But these days, I cannot find anymore info like that anymore.

I hope you understand what I mean.. And is this another question? It might be, but you don't have to write a lot or at all, don't want to rush you or make you work in anyway. And plus, this is just a reply area, not meant to be posting in the same way of "Writing letters" Haha. I also like to say, I do write a lot and is not meant to be taken too far because of the length.

Oh yeah about the question, I might of miss something and didn't write proper, I was wanting now to add a question about "If there was going to be a fair thing when it comes to "Sexuality and whatnot, like if someday Society was going to be more less limited" with outside this fandom someday. The thing I was explaining was above this paragraph I guess. Although this might be a separated question, my bad if so.

Reply
Papabear
7/7/2012 03:33:02 pm

Hi. Yes, I deleted the short paragraph that says thus: "I been sadly aware about how the fandom was getting into. This is about sexuality I am highly worried that people who has that side will be forced to be kept quiet and not really accepted anymore." I deleted it mostly because the first sentence was incomplete and didn't make sense and the rest of the paragraph just repeats what was said later in the letter anyway.

I think we would ALL love to live in a Society someday that accepts us for who we are. While we have made some strides as humans in this area, there is still a lot of hate and prejudice in the world This is the world we still live in, and it is the world that furries have to deal with. Until we reach a Nirvana where people are not judged unfairly, we will have to deal carefully with the society that lies beyond the fandom.

Reply
STH
7/7/2012 03:59:40 pm

I find the furry community is still growing and in 20 years fursuit will be common as sand. Right now we need to be careful and try show the good that we can. it just take one person to screw it up. Yes they sex in the furry fandom but if you check the other fandom you find sex in it too so people need to keep it in the bed rooms and not in public. Sorry for my grammar and spelling

Reply
Anonymous
7/7/2012 04:37:39 pm

Reply to both:

Yeah I guess we would all want that. Maybe if we try to keep trying to be more limited about sexuality a little, maybe it will get better and we can get into that fair way someday... But I don't know about trying to go so far in limiting and I might be suggesting to keep some things and find other ways for now. (Like that wiki thing) Eh, I don't want to be involved in certain actions though.. And the I have my own "Belief System" with this world.

One thing I was worried about is that since this is now a history and even if we try to make it more unfair first, it might stay that way because of the whole history of this.. If you know what I mean.

When it comes to good, I don't believe that one side is "bad" as its not proven though. Yeah in private for now I guess, although I think any type of sex is private. :P But what is legal more for public, it would be great that later in the future it does get more fair with non-hardcore expressions like society. Like non-extreme versions, idk kissing. But whatever better.

When it comes to people, I could say is that I hope the fandom doesn't get too strict in this process of "moving forward" etc.

Oh yeah, if there is any hope for something more fair and easier for the future, if you have any ideas, some stuff to report that can lead to that, you can always tell me. ;)

Reply
Anonymous
7/7/2012 04:39:10 pm

"limited about sexuality a little" I mean for now*

Reply
BluWalrus
7/9/2012 04:17:47 pm

Wow, judging by the comments in the nj.com article, those hoomans seem to be extremely narrow minded and irrational, which worries me because they are ready to pick up all those pitforks and torches they have laying around. However, they can't be blamed, since the reprehensible actions that have already been condemned by members of the fandom, took place while there was still daylight, and in front of the kids. It's always about the kids!

It would be better if everyone could measure and think their actions before performing them. The fandom doesn't need any more damages inflicted to its image, which seems to deteriorate more every time a non-furry (should I say skinny?) individual approaches it. Now while it's true that haters will always find reasons to hate, it's important that people understands there are places and times to do some things. We can't go out there showing off our dirty laundry all over the place and expect everyone to either accept and respect us.

Reply
Cool Furries link
7/25/2012 05:16:34 am

Some comments on your suggestions:

1. You claim furporn on the internet is a problem, but cite a bunch of examples (UrbanDictionary, GodHatesFurries) which have nothing to with it. You suggest the adult stuff should be put in age-restricted categories, but this is already done by FurAffinity and other sites. The real issue isn't the furporn, it's what impression newbies get when they search for furries on Google. That's something that gets fixed by people not running away from the term Furry and countering the misinformation (i.e., UrbanDictionary, GodHatesFurries) that's out there.

2. Splitting the Dealer Den into non-adult and adult sections is unworkable because it would require a dealer to be in two places at once if they (like most artists) sell non-adult and adult work. Or they'd have to limit their sales by choosing to cater to a niche market.

3. You suggest conventions should have minor badges. Can you cite an example of a convention that doesn't already do this? I can't think of any.

4. Yes, conventions should have a media liaison, and many already do. Their job is to escort media representatives, distribute as much information as possible, and answer any questions they have. It's not so much a concern at the smaller conventions, but for the larger ones it's always a good idea to have one.

Reply
Papabear
7/25/2012 05:51:04 am

Thanks for your comments! Okay, well, let me try and respond. 1. There are a number of references to furporn on sites like GodHatesFurries, so I must disagree. Urban Dictionary also makes reference to it. FurAffinity and other such sites do NOT have age-restricted sections, so I disagree with you there 100%. Not sure where you get the idea they have age restrictions when the certainly do not. 2. Not all dealers sell furporn, and those who do can certainly get an assistant to attend the age-restricted area to sell their art and wares; the burden should be on the seller, not the buyer, to control X-rated materials. 3. I have attended 6 conventions and have never seen a minor badge. However, I will grant you I wasn't looking for one, so maybe I just didn't notice. It's a good thing to do and I'm glad conventions do that. Thanks :-) 4. yep, conventions often do have media liaisons and I think I was just emphasizing that this is a good thing to have, whether or not they are a large or small convention.

Thanks for your input!

Reply
Cool Furries link
7/25/2012 12:21:16 pm

1. References to furporn by trolls is an issue with trolls, not furporn. You shouldn't be giving them or their strawman arguments credibility. FurAffinity has an adult content filter, which is only accessible by users over the age of 18. It is general content by default, so there is obviously an age restriction.

2. The burden is already on the seller to control access to adult materials, which is why there are clearly marked binders which indicate adult materials, and convention guidelines restricting access by minors. Having separate Dealer's Rooms when most people sell both and most people buy both is simply unnecessary.

Papabear
7/25/2012 01:49:29 pm

OK, Cool Furries. If you're happy with the status quo and feel everything is being done that's possible, then I guess we just have to live with the fact that most nonfurries see us as furverts, shrug our shoulders, and not do anything about it. Or, do you have suggestions?

Reply
Cool Furries link
7/26/2012 12:14:11 am

Excuse me, when did I say I was happy with the status quo and we shouldn't do anything about it? I don't recall saying any such thing.

What I did was point out which of your suggestions have already been implemented or weren't workable. You didn't explain, for example, how a convention would cover the additional expense of having two Dealers' rooms. Were you suggesting Dealers should buy two full price Dealers tables even though they wouldn't be making any additional profit? Also, do you think Dealers who had the additional burden of this expense eating away at their profits would be likely to return to such a convention next year? Do you think a convention which had an exodus of Dealers due to this policy would be able to find new Dealers to replace them, or would they be saddled with the expense of two largely-empty Dealers rooms that they couldn't afford to pay for? Lastly, do you think a convention which can't pay for its function space has a good chance of existing the following year?

I never suggested we shouldn't do anything about the problems, just that we shouldn't fix what isn't broken.

The fact is, most nonfurries don't see us as furverts because most nonfurries don't know about us at all. (And in fact, some nonfurries are even enthusiastic about us.) So the real question is what can we do to improve our image for those who are curious about us and want to know more about Furry fandom.

I have been a longtime advocate of distributing accurate information about Furry fandom as far and wide as possible. If you want to improve our image, that's the way to do it. Focus on what we are, not on what we aren't. It's tried and true and it works.

Being on your best behavior probably goes without saying, but with any large gathering or people you'll inevitably get one or two people acting inappropriately. Most conventions have Standards of Conduct that cover this. Fans need to keep in mind they're representing Furry fandom and discourage bad behavior when they see it. If you see something, say something.

The only issue with furporn in terms of our image is it shouldn't be the first thing you show to people who are new to or curious about the fandom. That should be common sense.

Reply
Cool Furries link
7/26/2012 12:36:18 am

PS: This kinda goes along with distributing accurate information as far and wide as possible, but when Furry fandom gets positive press, fans should link to the article and give it more exposure. Currently the tendency is to focus on the negative press (e.g., NJFurBQ, which only got covered by FOX because everyone was talking about it on FurAffinity), and giving attention to the things we don't want people to see makes improving our image an uphill battle.

Reply
Papabear
7/26/2012 02:44:32 am

I included many links to positive news pieces about furries and gave a balanced view of this story. I agree we shouldn't focus on negative stories, but we also should not ignore them. My article was an attempt to provide a balanced response to the incident in New Jersey. I happen to know some interesting facts about the incident which would have gone a long way to improving the image of the furries there, but was made to promise not to reveal it because the group that organized the FurBQ wanted to handle it. I have not heard anything since, so keeping this stuff secret, in my view, actually harms the fandom.

Reply
Artiewhitefox
4/21/2013 04:21:57 pm

Why the furry does not like the media is because the media act exactly like the religious people against Jesus. They prodded and asked odd questions to trying to trap Jesus to accuse him condemn him being devious, deviant with their words. The media has to change. The media needs to seek God resisting the devil.

Reply
Artiewhitefox
4/21/2013 04:27:46 pm


Why the furry does not like the media is because the media act exactly like the religious people against Jesus. They prodded and asked odd questions trying to trap him to accuse him condemn him being devious, deviant with their words. The media has to change. The media needs to seek God resisting the devil.

Reply



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    My Rainbow Ark is a site for and about LGBT furries and religion and how they are not incompatible.

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    A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.

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