Ask Papabear: The First Advice Column for Furries!
  • Home
  • Letters
  • Write Me
  • Disclaimer
  • Good Furry Award
    • Nomination Form
    • Lifetime Achievement Award
    • 2023 Nominees
    • 2022 Winners and Nominees
    • 2021 Wiinners
    • 2020 Winners
    • 2019 Winners
    • Good Furry Theme Song
  • Advertise
  • About
  • Gifts
  • Testimonials
  • Fan Art
  • Resources
  • Ask Papabear
  • Home
  • Letters
  • Write Me
  • Disclaimer
  • Good Furry Award
    • Nomination Form
    • Lifetime Achievement Award
    • 2023 Nominees
    • 2022 Winners and Nominees
    • 2021 Wiinners
    • 2020 Winners
    • 2019 Winners
    • Good Furry Theme Song
  • Advertise
  • About
  • Gifts
  • Testimonials
  • Fan Art
  • Resources
  • Ask Papabear

Real vs. Fair Weather Friends

7/3/2012

1 Comment

 
Greetings Papabear,

Recently I have been having troubles with the friends I had. I was in a relationship within the friend circle, and we broke up cause she lost interest in me. The trouble was she said she wanted to keep the friendship. It took me 2 months to get over the love, but still care enough to be friends. It got to the point where she wouldn't tell me anything and I had to find out on her tumblr. But the friends I made during college wouldn't respond back or try to talk with me. They would post pictures about friends doing the initiative and I grew tired doing the initiative with no response. I took time to think about it, and a few close online friends showed me some truth. But even with all the help and stuff I still feel like its not fair that I gave so much for these people and only get the cold shoulder. Is it the right thing to stop caring about every friend I have and only cherish the close friends I have, or is there another way?

--Shinjii

* * *

Dear Shinjii,

One thing that a person learns over the years and with experience is there are friends and then there are friends. People used to call the shallow friends—the ones who are only by your side during the good times—“fair weather friends.” These are the ones who don’t support you when you are going through something stressful or even tragic, such as a relationship breakup or a death. They will also quickly turn on you for the slightest reason.

Then there are the real friends. The ones who will always like you and talk to you and want to be with you, whether you are rich or poor, healthy or in the hospital, happy or sad. Papabear can’t tell you which is which in your life; you have to take that on a case-by-case basis. Your group of friends will change and evolve over time. New people will pop in and others will leave your circle. Papabear wouldn’t advise you to dump an entire crowd of friends all at once; you should talk to each one individually and find out where they really stand, whether that’s with you through thick and thin, or just with you when it convenient for them to do so. You’ll know which ones to drop.

Hugs,

Papabear

1 Comment
Shinjii
7/12/2012 11:22:40 am

Thank you so much, this really helped a lot. i really appreciate it!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Go to Papabear's Facebook page

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Addiction
    Art And Literature
    Careers
    Coming Out Furry
    Crime And The Law
    Editorial
    Family Issues
    Friends Issues
    Furry Definition
    Furry Issues (other)
    Fursonas
    Fursuiting
    Health
    Illness And Death Issues
    LGBT And Gender Issues
    Loneliness Depression Anger
    Love And Relationships
    Money
    Odd And Ends
    Politics
    Religion And Spirituality
    Roommates
    School Life
    Self Improvement
    Sexuality And Sex
    Social Networking
    Work And The Workplace

    Picture
    Picture
    An excellent article on coming out LGBT to Christian parents.
    Picture
    My Rainbow Ark is a site for and about LGBT furries and religion and how they are not incompatible.

    Picture
    A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.

Home

Letters

Write Me

Disclaimer

About

Copyright © 2012-2023