Part of Growing Up Is Transitioning Friendships

Papabear,

I've been loosing some of my friends in real life, because they are either moving or are blowing me off for being a furry. My last friend in my neighborhood has told me he got his girlfriend pregnant. (He is only 13) I don't know how to deal with this well. I don't really want to be friends with him as he also told me he was having sex with her for a while. If you could give me any advice, it would help a lot. Thank you. 

- FireWolfTheFury (age 13, Tennessee)

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Hi, FireWolf,

It’s a shame about your friend getting a girl pregnant. I understand your apparent revulsion, but isn’t this the time when true friends step up and are supportive when their buddies make a mistake, no matter how large? This depends a lot on the situation, of course, but if your friend is asking you to stick by him when he needs someone on his side, I wouldn’t brush him off, especially if he admits he has made a huge mistake and wants to turn his life around.

As for your other friends, this sort of thing happens a lot in life, especially as we transition from childhood to teen years, or from teens to adulthood, or single life to married life, etc. etc. Transitional periods of our lives are often coupled with transitions in the kinds of people we hang out with.

As we grow up, our interests change and that can cause us to lose touch with those who have not changed or have changed in ways different from ourselves. In your case, you have become involved in the furry fandom, while a number of your friends have not and now are blowing you off, as you say.

What you need to do, then, is find people who share your interests. Let the old friends go, if that’s what they wish, and get new ones—preferably, to start off with, anyway, fellow furries. I recommend you start with the Tennessee Furs group and try and make some connections there.

Good luck to you! And to your troubled friend.

Hugs,

Papabear