Parents Need to Know Why He Plans to Visit St. Louis

Dear Papabear,

First, I'd like to say thank you reading this, I've always received help on your advice. I'm going to make this to the point: for a while I've been planning a trip to St. Louis in the summer to see my mate. Now I have the money required and a place to stay, but the thing is my parents don't know that I have been planning this or that I'm a furry. I don't know how to ask my parents if I can go or not due to them always being overprotective. I truly want to see him, so I guess my question is, what's the best way to convince them to let me go? Thank you in advance, sir.

-Rune (age 17)

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Dear Rune,

Since you are still 17, you realize, of course, that you can’t go traveling without your parents’ permission to do so, unless you want to be considered a runaway (or if you go through the rather difficult process of declaring yourself independent of your parents—that is, legal emancipation, which is uncalled for in this case). And you’re not going to get their permission to go visit some person they don’t know and have never, apparently, met.

Really, your being a furry has nothing to do with your dilemma. But I suspect what is important here is that you’re gay. If you’re parents don’t know that, then you should really work on that confession before you go running off to have fun with your boyfriend.

Let’s say that they do know you’re gay. Great! You still have the sticky issue that they don’t know you have a boyfriend and who that person is. From your letter, I read between the lines and interpret your situation to be thus: you’re a gay furry with conservative parents and you have not told them anything about who you really are. If this is the case, then there is no way you’re going to be able to convince them to allow you to travel to another city by yourself to meet someone they have never met. They, as your parents, are responsible for your welfare and have every right to know where you are, what you are doing, and with whom.

Now, you could wait until you are 18, move out of the home, find a job to support yourself, and THEN, as a responsible adult, go and see your friend in St. Louis. Or, you could tell them what’s really going on, have them meet this potential love of your life, and, if all goes well and they like him and understand what’s going on, ask for their permission to visit him by yourself in St. Louis.

The only way you’ll be able to convince your parents of anything is if you are honest with them. Any other alternative involves lying through your teeth, feeding them a bunch of bullcrap, and sneaking off to St. Louis, a plan that is very likely to backfire in your face. (My bear sense was telling me that by “convince” you meant “persuade through deception and half-truths,” but I could be wrong).

Please write again if the above was not helpful.

Good luck!

Papabear