Dear Papa Bear,
As my pseudonym implies, everyone in my so-called “home” kept saying to me that I'm one of those "cursed beings," being different from the normal standards they consider. Oh, I'm a nine-tailed fox if you're wondering. The parents told their children not to go near me and the other folks are giving one hell of a life.... I thought to myself that my existence was a mistake, a fallacy, that I shouldn't be here in the first place. I considered suicide but deep inside me told me to shove the idea off. I have this special "gift" and even I used it to help they still consider it worthless and push me off.
It all started in pre-school where I'd sit in the corner while the other children play with the other normal kids. Occasionally they'd throw the Lego blocks at me.
Elementary got bad. As during free time they'd throw a rant on me on how 'not normal' I was and mythical creatures like don't exist.
High school got worse. I got into a male-exclusive school and knowing how boys like me go... let's just say they'd do rough-housing on my and used me as tackle practice.
Right now... college, then again male-exclusive but things seem to calm a bit. I got a friend who is normal that actually understands my disposition. But I have the feeling his other friends would influence him to knock me senseless. Plus I got a crush on him... I never told anyone and I hide it pretty good. I don't want to ruin his and my reputation so I recently decided to avoid him and break all contact, luckily his dorm is on the other building. I heard that he was worried about me for not answering his calls or replying his texts, that melt my heart but still I decided to keep BIG distances, it's for his own good, I think.
Speaking of the dorm, it is the worse nightmare EVER! Anyone would come in my room start trouble for nothing. If they find out I'm gay they'd beat me into a bloody pulp. Luckily the teachers' (all males) dorm was just next door and heard the mess one night. They barged in heroically and reprimand the trouble makers. Then they asked me to move into their place so that they can take care of me. That's sweet. But deep down I still feel empty.
So Papa Bear... is it really THAT bad to be THIS different?
Sorry if I wasted most of your precious time.
Signed, "The one who is not suppose to exist,"
* * *
My Dear CursedFoxy,
Normal people are boring. Normal people are sheep following the crowd, doing whatever everyone else does because that is what is accepted and expected. Normal people never stretch beyond the confines of the box. Normal people have no imagination. Normal people never achieve their full potential or come to realize their true selves. Normal people are about as interesting as dried toast.
You are lucky to be you. You are truly unique and are anything but normal. Therefore, Papabear says you should consider yourself blessed, not cursed.
When the norms attack you, either with words or with violence, it is because they are afraid of all things that are not like them. That is because people who are not like them—physically, intellectually, or spiritually—challenge their concepts of good and bad, right and wrong, healthy and unhealthy, moral and immoral. When those concepts are challenged, then they have to think about whether their OWN concepts are correct or not, and norms do not like to think. It hurts their brains.
Three things you need to bear in mind, Foxy: 1) you have rights, including the right not to be abused, which is protected by law; you have the right to contact authorities if you are assaulted, and I hope you will do so if it happens again; 2) you have the right to defend yourself if someone attacks you, including punching them back and, if necessary, even killing them if they try to kill you. Not that I hope it ever happens like that, but it would not be a bad thing to learn some self-defense skills.
And 3) YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXIST. Indeed, I feel that it is fortunate that you and others who, like you, are not norms, exist. You are the windows to possibilities beyond the norm. This is one reason Papabear is a Furry and loves all people and things Furry, and it is also why I get my grrr on when Furries show norm-ish behavior when they reject, say, Otherkin or Bronies. A true furry considers such prejudices beneath the spirit of Furry.
Foxy, Papabear has a task for you. It is an easy task, it might seem, on one paw, but on the other paw, it could be a challenge for you. It is this: change your name from CursedFoxy to BlessedFoxy. Would you do that for Papabear? Please do. It sounds silly, but if you do this it could change your entire outlook on life and on yourself.
You are BlessedFoxy, and don’t even know it.
P.S. That guy who likes you? Contact him, please. You should not toss away love so lightly. It is a rare thing. Learn to love yourself and it will be easier to accept other people's love in return.
A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.