Dear Papabear,
I have a big problem, Which is a little nerve wracking. It was only last month I attended comic con and kinda realized that I was attracted to furries. I mean, I always kinda liked the idea but never like this before. It kinda brewed inside of me until I decided to check out some uh... unsavory images. I don't really want to specify as this website is accessed by many. I just wanted to say that I was awakened. I have been struggling with this for a month or so. I know it is nothing compared to others but I am really confused. I feel ridiculous but I can't help the feelings. I don't know how to tell my boyfriend, George of three years. I know he will freak out and possibly dump me. I also don't know if I should ever come out to my parents. It is always difficult. I have a suit but it is firmly tucked away in my wardrobe. I don't know if wearing it downstairs and inviting my boyfriend and parents would be good. Maybe a catwalk. I don't know. I am so confused Gentle Giant (age 18, UK) * * * Dear Gentle, Questions like this keep coming up with my column, of course, and it causes me to think and rethink the issue, which is not a bad thing. First of all, it should be stated that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your sexual interest in furries. Now let’s discuss the whole “gotta tell my family, boyfriend, friends etc. etc. about my sexuality.” No. No, you don’t. Sexuality is an extremely private thing (or should be). You are in no way obligated to tell your parents and other family members. This doesn’t mean you don’t love them or are not being honest with them. It is none of their damn business. Do you ask your parents what they do in the bedroom? “Hey, Mom, Dad, you guys have any kinks? Use toys? Can you recommend a good lubricant?” No, you don’t, because it ain’t your business to ask. So why do you have to tell them? When it comes to your lover/boyfriend that’s different, of course. Since you are (I presume, or this wouldn’t be an issue) having sex with him, you should be able to talk about what your interests are sexually, and he should be able to do the same with you (you might find out he has a kinky side, too, for all you know). A couple things can result from this: 1) as I mentioned, you might find out he has a kinky side too, and might even think furotica is fun, so there will be no problem; 2) he might not be into furry sex, but be wise enough not to judge you about it because you have other things going on (this was the case with me and Yogi; he had some things he liked, I had some things I liked, and we helped each other out); or 3) he could be a giant ass about it, call you a freak, and storm out of your life; if that is the case, good riddance and you’ll be happier without someone like that in your life, trust Papabear when he says this. So, no, don’t don your fursuit and show it to your parents and boyfriend and cause a big blowout. That’s just nonsense. You’re 18 and an adult and can have your own personal life that has nothing to do with your parents. It’s fine to do that. There are many other things you can share with your family that can bring everyone joy. Good Luck! Papabear
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