New Furry Suffering from Social Burn

Papabear,

I have recently come to realize I have some furry in me in the past years. Thankfully I'm in a relationship with someone who is also learning the same about himself. We don't have anyone here we've talked to about this, so I thought to look for a forum online to share with like minded people. 

Sadly, my first time out in a chat, I was answering another's questions and another (previously, non-commenting) got all up in arms because (yet) another got mildly offended. Not really a welcoming. Now I feel a bit gun shy about saying anything, anywhere in any company because someone is always going to be offended. 

Is there any hope?

Dubious,
Kiki

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Hi, Kiki,

I'm a little confused here, so if you could clarify? Were you on some kind of furry chat and a furry was mean to you? Could you describe the situation in a little more detail?

Thanks!

Papabear

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Papabear,

Sorry for the confusion. Yes on a furry chat, but I wouldn't say someone was “mean to me.” Though, it bothered me enough, when that when I came across your advice column I thoughts I'd ask. Ultimately it really boils down to a fairly new identified furry just looking for a place to talk to other like-minded people.

Lacking in a scene where I live, and no one really about to talk to... interwebs is really the only option for outward expression. My partner/owner/master (and yes, husband) and I have recently discovered we both have a bit of furry in us. (It worked out pretty great, huh?) 

Last week or so, I started perusing the web more to see more about the culture as whole. I came across a chat, joined in and immediately met people who you can admit "yes, I like to be a kitten" to. One individual was asking general questions, which I started to answer, in what I considered way mellow and vague answers. Long story short, someone not making any comments until this point, got jealous (sadly, she was without an owner). the stick that bother me was that then another lurker jumped immediately in that things should be rubbed in that offend people, etc. I tried to explain that I had no way of knowing this other had issues, and of course the latter continued their argument and even got political and religious nonsense.

I remember when aol first took the US by storm, and I am not a naive person when it comes to the internet Bottom line, I guess, is just that it really sucked to find a place where I could ask questions, get advice and just socialize with others and things got ridiculously whack. Now, over a week later, I cant believe it bothered me so. But I still find I don't really want to say anything because someone is bound to get offend at anything and everything.

Sorry, to be long winded about it. It just sucks that the first time out to get a proverbial herring slap to the face.

Thank you for your time in responding. Guess I'm just fustrated at keeping the ol mouth trap shut, especially when its about something that makes you feel good.

with thanks,

Kiki

belonging to one Capt. Lupe Del Bosque

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Hi again, Kiki,

Okay, well, it sounds to Papabear that maybe you just chose the wrong place to start chatting. There are many many many chat forums and boards all over the Internet, and some are better than others. There are many flamers and trolls out there in cyberspace and you have to watch out for them. Papabear recently got burned bad by them, and I share your pain. Personal attacks from people you don’t even know are especially hurtful and cruel, and I feel there is a special place in Purgatory reserved just for those people who are haters without a cause.

But there is hope! There are some furry boards that are safe and sane. One of the places that is really great is http://furry4life.org/.  This site has been, for me, pretty drama free, especially if you choose to join (or create) a group that is more catered to your interests (I’m in the Greymuzzle group, for example).

There are also some safe places to chat on Facebook, if you join the right groups there. Furries for Life on FB (https://www.facebook.com/groups/311636512250169/) is the FB version of the site mentioned above.

So, don’t write off chatting online with furries because of one initial bad experience. Instead, try out various social sites where you can mix with furries, find which ones are best suited to you, and avoid those with lots of flaming (FYI, I recently learned that there are a lot of trolls who comment on Flayrah. Flayrah is in itself a great news site, but I would avoid commenting on their columns. I got burned bad there).

I hope this helps!

Hugs!

Papabear