Dear Papa Bear,
I've been dating my boyfriend for quite a long time over the Internet, and I very much love him with all of my heart, and even want to live my life with him wherever we may go. That being said, whenever I think of moving away from my family here in another state, I become horribly depressed and don't know what to do. This has happened every single time the topic comes up.
Is this normal? Am I supposed to suddenly feel depressed when thinking about moving in with him? Please help!
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You sound like a very loving furry to Papabear. You love your boyfriend and you love your family very much. That does this bear’s heart good, seeing someone like you who is so full of good feelings toward the ones around you.
Papabear doesn’t think you are depressed at the thought of moving in with your boyfriend—no no, what is depressing you is the thought of leaving your family and being so far from them that you won’t see them very often.
Here’s a thought: who says YOU have to move to where HE lives? Why can’t HE move closer to YOU and your family? Is that a possibility? If so, that is your answer right there. Papabear feels you would be happiest if you could be with both your boyfriend and your family. That doesn’t mean you all have to live in the same house or apartment, just close enough so that visiting is and easy walk, drive, or bicycle ride away.
Now, if his moving closer to you is not an option, here’s another thought: you say that he is your Internet boyfriend. Does that mean that you have never met in person before? If so, Papabear STRONGLY recommends you meet this young man before you make any major changes in your life.
You cannot get to know someone intimately well via electronic communications alone. Case in point: Papabear knows of two furries who met online and came to like each other very much. So much, that one of them agreed to move across the country and move in with the other. Well, once he did, surprise surprise, the two furries discovered they were not as compatible as they thought. Good news is they are still friends, but they are not mates any more.
Lawliet, sometimes there is an inner voice within people that warns them that something is not quite right, and feeling depressed is one such warning sign. Examine your heart carefully before making any big decisions. And if you need further advice, feel free to write Papabear again.
Big Bear Squeeze,
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