So mister papa bear ...
I hope for advice and clarification on relationships.
First my family and I are doing a bit better and I've gathered my self and applying to everything that's offered.
Second is something a bit more complicated and why I’m contacting you. I always liked helping with minor tech support and thus kinda how I introduce myself to new furs. So I help this one guy and get his [computer] back up and running and we have been talking over the last 4 months so he is a friend.
Now the confusion... I always thought I was straight but recently I enjoy his chats of random things and it kinda brightens my day. We ... recently started to rp together and now yiff too. I enjoy it I do, but once I start thinking “oh, the other one is also male” it kinda ends up in a stand still and me feeling guilty and the other one feeling like he pressured me.
It’s just he also helped me like you did stop the idea of suicide.
I do enjoy rping and everything but as soon as I think it’s a male I'm doing it with confusion of who I really am.
I'm confused now more then ever since I look almost forward to his text messages.
It might seem silly. And the other says more or less we are who we are, but I is real answer. May you help?
* * *
Don't overthink things, hon. If you like the guy and you like chatting with him and even yiffing, then relax and enjoy it.
* * *
And what if I want to see him and be with him? I mean it sounds right but confusing and is warping who I think I am.
* * *
You need to learn to trust your instincts. Many people have lost touch with their instincts, and, instead, listen to the brainwashing judgment of parents, peers, and those at the top of the social hierarchy. [Here is yet another reason I feel the furry fandom is taking off—the desire of the younger generation to reconnect with Nature and the Animal Kingdom—with INSTINCT—something that modern society has stripped away from us and denied us.]
Note that you say “who I THINK I am.” Your intellectual side is creating a filter that is blocking your connection with who you REALLY are.
I can say this from experience. For 40 years I thought I was a straight man. That is because I believed all the crap that was going into my ears and eyes from my father and the media, among other sources--I was brainwashed. When I learned who I really was because I allowed my instincts to awaken, it was a huge surprise for me, I can tell you! But I am better for it.
If you want to be with this guy, and if your heart is saying that you may even love him, then, if I were you, I would listen.
This does not necessarily mean you are gay (why do we have to label everything?). It means your instincts are telling you that you should be able to love a person with whom you feel a connection.
Love is color blind. Love is blind to race, nationality, religion. Love knows only the heart.
This is why those in power hate Love, because Love cannot be controlled by money and power. Love liberates us. Love connects us. Love is Instinct. It is within us from the time we are conceived. Hatred is learned. Hatred is the elite’s tool of preference for controlling the masses (the second tool being, of course, ignorance, which is why our school system has been destroyed—sorry, I’m getting on my soap box).
Don’t be confused, hon. Let yourself be free.
7/25/2013 06:47:25 pm
Being another guy not seeing gay lifestyle as my lifestyle I surprised myself around age 40 also. I became diabetic and was looking to get more social as I had been becoming a happy hermit, so I thought. So at age 40 I got out and learned a few things about myself.
Don't label yourself, and don't hold back to what your heart says. Don't listen to the brain washing of the world. Just because you thought you were straight, doesn't mean you are. You could be gay, or bi (pansexual) or this could just be an experience for you to explore who you really are. Spread your paws and explore. You live life the way you want to, and just make sure you're happy.
Leave a Reply.
A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.