Is She Too Picky about Finding a Perfect Mate?

Dear Papa Bear 

I feel I have painted myself into a small box, and that I will never meet that man of my dreams. You see I have just realized I am a trans women and I am beginning my transition at the age of 26. However though I have baggage to go along with that. I am also a bigger girl, who's Christian & to top the cake I live with a few disabilities; for example a hearing impairment. But the problem is I'm attractive to bulky guys, bigger boys with d***s between their legs, body hair and facial hair. So my question to you is, am putting myself into a small a box where I won't be able to find anyone? Will I find love?

Sincerely
Transgirl loving bulky bears

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Dear Transgirl,

It is this bear’s ardent belief that there is someone for everyone out there—sometimes more than one. There are currently 7,125,000,000+ people on Earth. I’m sure there is someone out there for you.

That said, do not look for a perfect match of someone who shares all your traits and qualifications. Instead, look for someone who is an accepting person who loves you for you. Now, of course, there are some provisos here. You should be physically attracted to one another, for instance (lots of people like their mates meaty like you and I do :-), but other things can be overlooked. Don’t limit yourself too much. For example, if you find a really great guy but he doesn’t have a beard and is smooth, I wouldn’t dismiss him, if I were you, just because he is not a hirsute man.

A personal example: my mate, Yogi, and I are quite different. He’s nine years my senior, he is not a furry, he is very much into TV and radio broadcasting (not a big interest of mine), and we even have some differences sexually. But we share other things, such as enjoying theatre and movies, talking about politics, sharing values. Most important, he is a caring, loving man who loves me deeply and is there for me when I need him to be (such as with my recent hospital stay).

So, to answer the question: yes, you can find love, and there is someone out there for you. The trick is to not be overly picky, while at the same time finding someone who is good for your life (i.e., is caring and kind to you, supportive, and, above all, respectful of you as a human being). Don’t over-romanticize things with the idea of the “man of my dreams.” Most people’s dreams are outrageously unrealistic. And be open to the possibility that love may enter your life from the most unexpected of angles and when you least anticipate it.

Good luck! Wishing you love!

Papabear