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  • Ask Papabear

Is It Crazy to Be an Adult with Imaginary Friends?

3/10/2014

5 Comments

 
Dear Papa Bear,

I'm a 21 year old male and I have 5 imaginary friends. I talk to them every night before I go to bed. I use to be depressed (it's gone now) and would think about suicide but they (my imaginary friends) would tell me not to think like that and give me reasons why I should live. I don't have a lot of friends and for instance if I was playing basketball by myself I would pretend they are playing along with me. I know they are not real but I like talking to them. Like I said before, I don't have a lot of friends and talking to them takes the loneliness away). So my question to you is do you think having 5 imaginary friends and being 21 is bad for me mentally?

G

* * *

Hi, G,

I would only be concerned about you if you said that the five friends who live in your head were real or if they were telling you to do things that were hurtful to you or others. You describe them repeatedly as “imaginary,” as well as helpful, so, therefore, you are not crazy. Many people have imaginary friends in their lives, although they usually imagine them when they are children, not 21-year-olds.

But let’s consider this, as well: a lot of people would say that believing that Jesus Christ or the Holy Spirit is watching over you is just as imaginary as having pretend playmates or companions. Or, look at people like me, who believe that they have guiding spirits in their lives who help them survive the vicissitudes of our existence. These things could be considered equally, if not more, crazy than your imaginary buddies. It’s all a matter of perspective, you see.

In a more quotidian example, many people in this country feel very close friendships to people they see on the television, especially on TV series. For lonely people, these characters become comforting, reassuring presences in their lives. Or look at the recent movie “Her,” about a man who falls in love with a talking operating system.

The thing is, G, we all need companionship; it is a very human need. And, when we find ourselves living alone or in isolation and unable to connect, the human mind and spirit will do what it can to cope with that situation. Your invention of five friends is your method of coping, and it clearly works for you. As long as you have a healthy perception of the real world (know what is real and what is not) you’ll be fine.

Hugs,

Papabear
5 Comments
Critter link
3/10/2014 05:21:40 am

I think it's kinda cool you talk to them, G. To name another example, people often speak to their parents or grandparents who have passed away.

Like Papabear says, we do need companionship - you may want to make more of effort to make real world connections as well through whatever your interests are. If you're into gaming of whatever type there are often places to gather, or if you enjoy a sport or physical activity these can lead to real life friendships. I've recently joined some groups at Meetup.com hoping to make some new connections in my area.

Good luck, and have fun!

Reply
Phobia Rat link
3/10/2014 08:27:06 pm

There is absolutely no shame in the company of imaginary friends. I see you are very well aware that they are not in any way real. People may call it different things but it is a pretty average thing for us human beings to do especially as children but consider the following!

Totemic or spiritual connections such as the belief of spirit guides including religious spirits. Talking to pets as if they understand can be very therapeutic, talking to your own 'fursona' or other characters that you yourself have created is pretty calming for me as if I can talk to myself inside of my head even if it is still me. Talking to stuffed animals or acting as if they are people is also something that I find solace in. It's all harmless fun, the only worry you need to have is if these characters become more then just 'imaginary' or tell you to harm yourself or others or do things that could cause harm.

I do insist that you never limit yourself even if you have had bad incidents within the furry community that does not mean every one is a bad person. I have had my share of run ins with nasty, rude, hateful people but once I got away from them I made new friends and enjoyed their company. You can use Pounce.com or find an intirest group on facebook where other people or furries also share your lifestyle or interests. I hope you meet a lot of kind, brotherly types and know that you just need to look to find people who will be a friend. In a world so full of life we are only as alone as we choose to be.

Have a great time.

Reply
Diamond Man
3/10/2014 09:14:36 pm

You probably won't listen but it will count as a review someday from me though:
I don't want to sound mean Papabear and to anyone, but it's hurtful and anti-spiritual to have a problem with someone thinking "imaginary friends" are real (Yet according to theory, there is "shockingly" evidence of so. (Remember what I talked about?)) especially if you say "God is" or other spiritual people are but pretend this doesn't count.

Secretly I think that in a spiritual sense in the same way as believing God is over you. So I guess I'm "crazy?"

From the theory (And many others) that this world is an illusion, it made my belief in this even more stronger..
http://themindunleashed.org/2013/10/thought-power-how-to-manifest-your.html

Honestly to suggest better things, please only be concern if there is pain involve at least?... Believing in stuff based on a theory like real isn't crazy. Nor is it painful, <b>in fact,</b> lacking the belief can be hurtful for those who like to feel comfort.. I mean how can I feel comfort if I have to so-called "know" they are 100 % not real?
It just destroys the feeling when it comes to being faithful or something.

____

Anywhoo, to whoever wrote and asked about this, if your not hurting anyone, then your fine.. Believe what you want.

Reply
Diamond Man
3/10/2014 09:20:33 pm

Edit:
"Secretly I think that in a spiritual sense in the same way as believing God is over you. So I guess I'm "crazy?""
I mean I secretly believe in "imaginary" ways in a spiritual sense of them being there, in a faith way or belief, similar to God.

Also, lesson learned: Bold htmls doesn't work. xD So you may notice a try of "<b> </b>" on that comment.

Reply
Byron Bear link
3/11/2014 01:27:46 am

You're fine so long as your Imaginary friends don't think you're imaginary!

Reply



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