In Search of Love after Losing His Bear

Dear Mr Papabear,

Losts my beloved Husbear/Daddy Bear a year now. I am looking for love again, but there is a guy who loves me and I don't love him. Since keep triggers me a lot. I want love again. I don't know how to tell him it is over. I am tired of being alone and hurt. Do you know where I can find love again with a bear as well?

Lil' Gothcub (age 33)

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Hi, Lil' Gothcub,

I am very sorry for your loss, hon. Glad you have the courage to move on with your life, though.

You don't really find love; it comes to you. But you have to be ready to receive it when it does come. That's the key. To do that, you have to do a couple things:

1. Let your heart be open to the possibility of love.
2. Do not be overly picky—that is, do not have unreasonable expectations and so many necessary qualifications that you eliminate every possibility of someone meeting your requirements. Not everyone is a gorgeous billionaire who is amazing in bed. Learn to know what matters.
3. Conversely, you should have some self-esteem and not take someone into your heart who doesn't deserve it simply because they are available. This goes especially for potential mates who are abusive, lazy, and/or users.

As for the person who loves you but you don't return the love: rip off the bandage. Tell him now that you simply don't have those feelings for him. You can soften the blow by telling them that it's not because they aren't a good person; you just don't have that spark of emotion for them, but you are sure that someday they can find someone who will love them.

Hope that helps,
Papabear
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