Hey Papa Bear.
I have had a great relationship for 4 years with my boyfriend. We shared everything. We watched things together. We also like furrys. We even planned to go live together.
However. A month ago he decided to dump me. I have lots of support from my friends. But I am still so lonely and scared. Especially at night. I fear and dislike being alone. I have no one to call. No one calling me.
I believe in true love. In staying with a special someone for the rest of your life.
But maybe I am being naive.
So my question is this:
Thank you very much Papabear!
Just typing this has helped a little.
Anonymous in Belgium
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I'm so sorry for your break up. Did your former boyfriend ever give you an explanation why he left you? Understanding this would go a long way toward taking the next step in your life.
I understand feeling lonely and scared. When my husband died in 2015, I was alone for quite some time, but then Michael came into my life. He was already a friend when my husband was still alive (actually, my piano teacher), and about a year and a half after Jim's death, Michael decided to divorce his husband and move in with me. But that wasn't the first time I was alone. The first time was when my wife divorced me (long story from a time when I didn't realize I was gay) and I had to get by on my own. I don't really like being alone, either. After Jim died, I kept the TV on all the time, even when I wasn't watching it, because I hated the silence. The other thing to do is to try and be with people as much as possible. Socialize, visit family, even invite friends to your home for a sleepover. Anything to not be alone.
That said, don't discount the value of occasionally being by yourself for a little quiet reflection. But don't be afraid to ask people to visit you. Keep the door open.
Meeting furries is pretty easy. I mean, you must know about social media, and there are all kinds of places to chat online. To get some in-furson experience, if you haven't already done so, go visit your furry friends at the Belgian furcon Flüüfff in Blankenberg @FlüüfffCon. Always a great way to have fun, going to a convention. There is also a bimonthly furmeet in Liège https://www.ouftimeet.be/ if you can travel there.
Now, about meeting someone special. Here, I can only speak in generalities. First of all, be genuine. Don't try to win someone over by being what you are not, because if you try to impress someone with falsehoods or change yourself to accommodate them, you can't keep it up forever. Secondly, always be kind and considerate of other people. Third, don't allow yourself to be used by other people because you are desperate not to be alone. If you keep those things in mind, eventually, real love will appear.
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