Ask Papabear: The First Advice Column for Furries!
  • Home
  • Letters
  • Write Me
  • Disclaimer
  • Good Furry Award
    • Nomination Form
    • Lifetime Achievement Award
    • 2023 Nominees
    • 2022 Winners and Nominees
    • 2021 Wiinners
    • 2020 Winners
    • 2019 Winners
    • Good Furry Theme Song
  • Advertise
  • About
  • Gifts
  • Testimonials
  • Fan Art
  • Resources
  • Ask Papabear
  • Home
  • Letters
  • Write Me
  • Disclaimer
  • Good Furry Award
    • Nomination Form
    • Lifetime Achievement Award
    • 2023 Nominees
    • 2022 Winners and Nominees
    • 2021 Wiinners
    • 2020 Winners
    • 2019 Winners
    • Good Furry Theme Song
  • Advertise
  • About
  • Gifts
  • Testimonials
  • Fan Art
  • Resources
  • Ask Papabear

He's Out, Boyfriend Is Not ... Should He Do Something about It?

5/5/2013

0 Comments

 
Dear Papa Bear,

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. He is in the closet and it affects how much we can communicate with each other. His major fear is that his family and friends won't accept him. I've never had problems with telling people that I'm gay. But, I can understand his fear, because we're both from very rural parts of Minnesota, and I've had my fair share of trouble.

I've come to terms with him refusing to tell his friends and family. I'm really curious as to what you think could be done to ease him to tell his parents. I love him so much, and I'll continue to sneak around like we do ... but it's not something I enjoy doing. What could I do?

Sincerely,
Sammi

* * *

Hi, Sammi,

Every person’s family is different. You may not have had too much of a problem telling your family you were gay because they were pretty understanding about it, which is very lucky for you, but your boyfriend’s family may not be so tolerant, which is why he refuses to tell them and why he is still in the closet.

Under no circumstances would I advise you to try to force him out of the closet, and especially don’t go telling people who don’t know he is gay that he’s gay. I remember when my ex did that, and it was super-embarrassing for me.

Do not coax or pressure him in any way. Let him make the decision on his own when he is ready to do so. In the meantime, just let him know that you love and support him no matter what, and if he needs to stay in the closet for a while, you will still be there for him.

Remember, they also serve who only stand and wait.

One day, inevitably, he will come out. Be patient.

Hugs,

Papabear

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Go to Papabear's Facebook page

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Addiction
    Art And Literature
    Careers
    Coming Out Furry
    Crime And The Law
    Editorial
    Family Issues
    Friends Issues
    Furry Definition
    Furry Issues (other)
    Fursonas
    Fursuiting
    Health
    Illness And Death Issues
    LGBT And Gender Issues
    Loneliness Depression Anger
    Love And Relationships
    Money
    Odd And Ends
    Politics
    Religion And Spirituality
    Roommates
    School Life
    Self Improvement
    Sexuality And Sex
    Social Networking
    Work And The Workplace

    Picture
    Picture
    An excellent article on coming out LGBT to Christian parents.
    Picture
    My Rainbow Ark is a site for and about LGBT furries and religion and how they are not incompatible.

    Picture
    A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.

Home

Letters

Write Me

Disclaimer

About

Copyright © 2012-2023