He's New to Furry and Needs Help Getting His Paws Wet

Dear Papabear,

First of all, I'd like to say thanks for creating such a great avenue for people to ask questions. To be quite honest, I'm not really sure if I'm a furry myself. Ever since I was little, I've gotten aroused at the site of people being transformed into animals or anthropomorphic animals in general. For most of my younger years, the urges went away but have resurfaced in my teens. 

I really need some suggestions as to how to cope with this fetish. I am an outgoing person and sociable. Unfortunately, I've never had the guts to tell anyone about this weird kink (even my parents don't know about it). I'd really like to try to find a community of people I could talk to about this and to help me understand it. It would be nice to start a relationship with a girl who I could relate to and start a true relationship with. 

I don't have a fursona and I just don't know if I am a furry or not. I'm not into the idea of fursuiting at all. Where should I start and who should I talk to? Thank you for your time and I truly appreciate you taking time to have this advice column.

Sincerely,

Ash

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Dear Ash,

I can see you need a lot of help becoming familiar with furries and coping with your personal identity. First, let me clear up some misconceptions you have:

1. You do not need a fursona to be a furry.
2. You do not need a fursuit to be a furry.
3. If you find anthropomorphic characters arousing, you’re probably a furry.
4. However, that doesn’t mean you have to be aroused by anthros to be a furry; many furries are not into the sexual side of it at all and, indeed, dislike hearing it called a “fetish.”

As for talking to people about being a furry, I invite you to peruse the “Coming Out Furry” category on this website for some tips on talking to family about being a furry.

And, as for finding a girlfriend who is a furry and who will understand who you are, believe it or not there are furry dating sites you can check out, including FurryMate.com and FurryDate.com.

I would recommend you join some furry social sites, too. Although FurAffinity.net is the most popular, you will find that a large part of its focus is on art. I like FA, but would recommend you check out Furry4Life.org for a site that is more about social networking than art. Also, I am slowly working on the American Furry Association, which will be a site helping to connect furries, too.

Start talking to other furries, and try to see if there are local furmeets or cons you can go to for extra exposure to the fandom. You need to get over your fear of being a “weirdo” and learn that there is a large community out there that shares your interests. Being different doesn’t make you weird; it makes you unique and fun and interesting.

Try not to be ashamed of who you are and what you enjoy. As long as you are not hurting anyone, there is nothing wrong with having unconventional sexual preferences—or preferences about anything else, for that matter.

Feel free to write again if you have more questions.

Hugs,

Papabear