Why are people so upset with the thought of a third gender?
Furries, etc, seem to be mostly fine with it.
I'm an androgynous pseudohermaphrodite ("shemale," in porn terms) and I like myself, but people always seem to have a problem with that... I didn't become this, I grew into it, for the most part.
Some research showed me that men don't like it when you're attractive for them, while having a penis and women don't like that you're not a valid prey for them... :\
Do you know the answer?
Wow, this is a big question. There’s no way I could give a fully satisfactory answer within the scope of the “Ask Papabear” column, but I will try and provide a little basic insight.
From what you say above, you are a male pseudohermaphrodite, in which you appear to be female at first glance but you have a penis. (I believe “androgynous pseudohermaphrodite” is redundant, but I could be wrong). Pseudohermaphroditism is sometimes called being “intersex,” in which a person exhibits some characteristics of both genders. It’s not so much a “third sex” as it is a combination of the other two. There is also female pseudohermaphroditism (having ovaries but outwardly male in appearance) and true hermaphroditism (having both ovaries and testes). I’m writing this for the benefit of my readers; I’m sure you already are familiar.
As to why men and women may be uncomfortable with your being androgynous, the answer is pretty basic. Human beings, as with all animals, are biologically programmed to reject individuals who would not make viable reproductive partners. This is the same reason why many people are cruel to and reject people who are different from them in other ways. Humans, no matter how much we aggrandize ourselves and believe we are superior to other species, are just animals with big brains. We still behave in very fundamental ways, for the most part, that have to do with survival of the fittest and reproduction. The results can sometimes be hurtful. Let’s face it, humans still have some evolving to do.
Of course, in a happier world, we would have all evolved beyond such prejudices and accept others for what they are. What matters, as you know, is what’s on the inside. You, Jen, have clearly accepted yourself. You like yourself, and that is so wonderful! Some hermaphrodites opt for surgery, but you are staying true to yourself.
But now you have a really tough task. If you don’t want to be alone in your life, you’re going to have a challenging time finding someone who accepts you for you. This is certainly not impossible; it’s just going to be tough.
You might wish to consider checking out the Intersex Society of North American at http://www.isna.org/ which lists some support groups and has more information on the subject.
I hope this helps, Jen. Good luck!
A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.