Hello,
I'm having a bit trouble figuring out what I should do. I have never been in a situation like this before so it would be helpful to hear what others think.
Situation:
My mate and I have been going out for about 6 months now. A couple weeks ago someone(male) asked him to be a pet and he agreed. The same person asked me as well and I agreed. Now, I'm not really into the master/pet thing, I just wanted to try it out. Probably because I was really scared of loosing my mate. Right now I'm still having reservations about it. I'm the type who can give myself only to one person at a time.
He actually only lives about 2 hours away so we can meet him in person and master does want to do "those things" with us. My mate is sorta curious about getting done in the backside. Which by itself is no issue to me, but he wants to try it with master and if he likes it . . . he was wondering if I'd be ok with them doing that on the side. My mate did what he could to reassure me that nothing would change with us, that I would always come first, and there is no way he'd leave me for master. Especially since my mate is straight and master has a fiancé. I really don't like/want my mate to do this, but I want him to be happy. He said it's fine if I say "no", but I still really don't wanna ruin his fun and happiness even if it means I have to be hurting a bit from it. I tried doing a "pros and cons list", also thinking it might help to meet master first (which I will be next weekend), and possibly my mate might not like getting in the backside as well as get tired of this whole thing at some point. I just don't anymore. So if someone can tell me what they think and help give me something else to think about . . . it would be extremely helpful. Please feel free to ask me for more specifically details if you need them.
Thanks so much!
Anonymous (age 26)
* * *
Dear Furiend,
It’s nice that you are being open minded about this, but there are a few things here you might want to think about. First of all, if your mate decides he enjoys receiving guests at the back door, then he can’t really say he’s entirely straight. Secondly, my understanding of furry master/pet relationships is that the healthy ones are not about sex. Most master/pet relationships in the fandom are about a more father/son or mother/daughter or teacher/apprentice dynamic. There are many greymuzzles (or not even greymuzzles but simply more experienced and wiser furs who could still be in their twenties) who have big hearts and like to mentor young furs who need guidance. Those who wish to be pets are looking for a parent figure—either because they have no parents or because they have poor relationships with their parents. That’s why when I hear what you are describing, I am more inclined to call it a master/sex slave relationship. This is not necessarily a bad thing, because, despite the terminology, there can be a mutual respect here in which neither party is trying to hurt the other one but, rather, they get a sexual high out of this type of role playing.
So, first of all, recognize what your mate is proposing for what it really is. If you were comfortable with that, though, you would not be writing Papabear, would you? I’m sorry to say that by the time I got to your letter, you probably have already met this “master,” so perhaps you can write back and let me know how it went. I understand, too, how you might agree to be this master’s sex toy, but doing so out of fear of losing your mate is not the best of reasons. If you aren’t doing it because you enjoy it, then you shouldn’t do it.
I will praise both you and your mate for having open communication about this rather than his going off on the sly and having sex with master. Good for him! Good for you for not immediately dismissing it and for being willing to entertain the possibilities here! It might be that, after meeting this master and having a bit of fun and experimentation, you could decide it’s okay and even enjoyable. On the other paw, if you try it and decide it’s not for you, and your mate decides he loves it and wants to continue it, then you will need to reevaluate your relationship and decide if the two of you are as compatible as you thought.
As with Schrödinger’s Cat, the only way you will find out for sure is if you open the box. I’m very proud of you for being brave enough to do this, but do not forget that your feelings matter, too, and should be respected for the relationship to work.
Hugs,
Papabear
I'm having a bit trouble figuring out what I should do. I have never been in a situation like this before so it would be helpful to hear what others think.
Situation:
My mate and I have been going out for about 6 months now. A couple weeks ago someone(male) asked him to be a pet and he agreed. The same person asked me as well and I agreed. Now, I'm not really into the master/pet thing, I just wanted to try it out. Probably because I was really scared of loosing my mate. Right now I'm still having reservations about it. I'm the type who can give myself only to one person at a time.
He actually only lives about 2 hours away so we can meet him in person and master does want to do "those things" with us. My mate is sorta curious about getting done in the backside. Which by itself is no issue to me, but he wants to try it with master and if he likes it . . . he was wondering if I'd be ok with them doing that on the side. My mate did what he could to reassure me that nothing would change with us, that I would always come first, and there is no way he'd leave me for master. Especially since my mate is straight and master has a fiancé. I really don't like/want my mate to do this, but I want him to be happy. He said it's fine if I say "no", but I still really don't wanna ruin his fun and happiness even if it means I have to be hurting a bit from it. I tried doing a "pros and cons list", also thinking it might help to meet master first (which I will be next weekend), and possibly my mate might not like getting in the backside as well as get tired of this whole thing at some point. I just don't anymore. So if someone can tell me what they think and help give me something else to think about . . . it would be extremely helpful. Please feel free to ask me for more specifically details if you need them.
Thanks so much!
Anonymous (age 26)
* * *
Dear Furiend,
It’s nice that you are being open minded about this, but there are a few things here you might want to think about. First of all, if your mate decides he enjoys receiving guests at the back door, then he can’t really say he’s entirely straight. Secondly, my understanding of furry master/pet relationships is that the healthy ones are not about sex. Most master/pet relationships in the fandom are about a more father/son or mother/daughter or teacher/apprentice dynamic. There are many greymuzzles (or not even greymuzzles but simply more experienced and wiser furs who could still be in their twenties) who have big hearts and like to mentor young furs who need guidance. Those who wish to be pets are looking for a parent figure—either because they have no parents or because they have poor relationships with their parents. That’s why when I hear what you are describing, I am more inclined to call it a master/sex slave relationship. This is not necessarily a bad thing, because, despite the terminology, there can be a mutual respect here in which neither party is trying to hurt the other one but, rather, they get a sexual high out of this type of role playing.
So, first of all, recognize what your mate is proposing for what it really is. If you were comfortable with that, though, you would not be writing Papabear, would you? I’m sorry to say that by the time I got to your letter, you probably have already met this “master,” so perhaps you can write back and let me know how it went. I understand, too, how you might agree to be this master’s sex toy, but doing so out of fear of losing your mate is not the best of reasons. If you aren’t doing it because you enjoy it, then you shouldn’t do it.
I will praise both you and your mate for having open communication about this rather than his going off on the sly and having sex with master. Good for him! Good for you for not immediately dismissing it and for being willing to entertain the possibilities here! It might be that, after meeting this master and having a bit of fun and experimentation, you could decide it’s okay and even enjoyable. On the other paw, if you try it and decide it’s not for you, and your mate decides he loves it and wants to continue it, then you will need to reevaluate your relationship and decide if the two of you are as compatible as you thought.
As with Schrödinger’s Cat, the only way you will find out for sure is if you open the box. I’m very proud of you for being brave enough to do this, but do not forget that your feelings matter, too, and should be respected for the relationship to work.
Hugs,
Papabear
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