I was miserable all my life until I met my one true love. Me and my boyfriend are both furries and we're in a good relationship.
My bf is a person who takes charge (i.e. He loves being the giver) in our relationship.
We've been very adventurous in the bedroom or should I say out of it. Me and my bf are into doing the deed outdoors and in the most unusual places, we've done it in car parks, forests, bouncy castles, in other friends horse stables, changing rooms, even once on a mechanical bull etc.
Just a few days ago me and him got into this simulator machine that replicates a roller coaster and we just made out and had sex in it. Best sex ever in my life.
But now dearest papa bear I like sex outside as he does but he likes being more adventurous than I do, but he wants to become even more adventurous, he's wanting us to go into forbidden places like an old school building with our old school uniforms on or we'd go to an abandoned hotel and he'd play a hotel manager and I'd play a customer he'd show me a room and before I know it we're on the double bed and I'm pulling at the headboard, that I don't mind but he wants us to get caught in public.
How can I talk him around? I don't mind being intimate outdoors because we're both up for it but its just he wants to push the barrier into getting caught by members of the public.
So how can I talk him out of this before we get caught?
* * *
While I think it’s terrific that the two of you are adventurous lovers, there is a limit to all things. The limit in the case of public sex has to do with the law. Both in England and in the United States there are laws that prohibit or put restrictions on having sex in places where others who don’t really want to see you doing carnal things may get a good look at it. While these rules have eased up a little in the 21st century, they still exist.
In England, laws about sexual conduct were updated in 2003 (long overdue as they remained Victorian until then), giving some grounds for things like nudists practicing their thing in private and also granting homosexual behavior the same rights as heterosexual behavior (in England it used to be illegal for homosexuals to have an orgy in a private home but perfectly legal for heterosexuals to do the same thing).
Laws about public decency are covered in England under The Sexual Offences Act and The Public Order Act. In essence, they say if you have sex where you can be seen and there is no expectation of privacy, you have committed a crime. (Note to American readers: the same sort of laws exist in the United States, but vary from state to state, including penalties; it is generally seen as a misdemeanor punishable for up to about $1,000).
Back to your boyfriend: what you need to do is point out to him that he is putting both of you at risk of being charged with a crime, especially if he wants you to get caught. Next thing you know, the two of you will be paid a visit by the nice guy named Bobby (a police officer).
I would hope that your boyfriend would not want the two of you in trouble (oh, and by the way, I’m a bit concerned that some of his fantasies may involve trespassing on property that may be abandoned but still isn’t permissible for you to enter). Hopefully, this is just because he’s unaware it is a crime (remembering that ignorance of the law does not exonerate you), and not because he deliberately wants to cause you trouble.
Again, I think it’s great to have an adventurous sex life, but the purpose of such laws is to protect the rights of others who may not appreciate it and could be offended and shocked by it. Keep your sex life private.
Hope that helps!
8/28/2015 05:21:24 pm
8/29/2015 04:48:16 am
That's super. Do note that if you are in a privately owned place (a private stable qualifies) and you are trying to do things discretely, this should not be a problem under the law (including in the UK). Really, where you get into trouble is in a place where it can be reasonably assumed that someone could see what you're doing unintentionally.
9/1/2015 05:16:27 pm
Ohh and papabear one last thing, when I refer to my post here I'm a guy, I'm in a same sex relationship with my boyfriend. Sorry I should have stated on my original post.
9/15/2015 06:38:01 pm
oops! my bad! either way, have fun!
Leave a Reply.
A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.