Hello again, Papabear.
It’s been a couple of months since I wrote to you. Still nothing. I feel like the book is already written for myself. I feel that after the divorce that I had back in July of 2014 that I proved my ex wrong. That nobody would want to date me nor will they want to date a divorced LoneWolf such as myself. I am back to square one before I met this backstabbing b**ch (sorry about the language), miserable and lonely, though to that day of our divorce I feel that the book is already written for me. Is it possible that this is my fate in life to be divorced or never to be with anyone in my life again? Ad is it possible that my book is already written to stay this way for all eternity?
If advice can't be given on this I understand why it can’t.
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Hello, again, LoneWolf,
Oh, Papabear can give advice on pretty much anything, but it’s up to the reader to decide whether or not to listen.
You have been divorced less than a year, yet you have already thrown up your paws and given up on any other relationships happening in your life. That is a defeatist attitude. As long as you are down on yourself, bemoaning that fate has already written the book for me and I am doomed to be alone until I die, then that is exactly what will happen to you. It’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The way out of your situation is to change your attitude. If you go around feeling nothing but negativity about life, you create a powerful, dark aura around you that, although most others cannot see it, is very palpable. It chases people away from you who might otherwise have become your friends. It is very off-putting.
A big step toward dispelling this aura is to learn to forgive. Put aside your bitterness toward your wife. That is part of your past now, and you are only hurting yourself by carrying that hatred in your soul. I understand anger, hon, and know that it will eat away at you unless you learn to, as they say, forgive and forget.
In addition, learn how to have a positive attitude. You might ask, “What do I have to be positive about? I can’t be positive if my life is awful.” Actually, that’s not the way it works. You have the cause and effect backwards. If you take a positive attitude toward life, it can actually make your life better and good things will start to happen. For one thing, if people you encounter see you smiling and enthusiastic, it makes you much more attractive and they will be more likely to want to get to know you.
Drop the negativity. Drop the doom and gloom. Only then will you turn your life around.
All good advice as usual. I was unexpectedly divorced some years ago (even though I initiated the divorce) and something that helped me a lot at the time and has been important to me ever since is the idea of forgiveness. Doesn't mean you have to forget, but not forgiving is like taking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.
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