I have a question that I’m a bit worried about. To give context I’ve been in a relationship with this girl for about a year. Her name’s Sadie; she’s a tomboy, and she used to bully me. Now the issue I’m having deals with this lesbian chick refusing to see that my gf is in a relationship with me. So this chick became infatuated with Sadie like 2-3 years ago, but Sadie is straight and thus will most likely never go out with a girl.
In spite of that, Lesbian Chick has constantly tried to convince Sadie that she can’t be straight because of the manly interests that she has and also has told her that she only thinks she likes dudes and will “go full lesbo once you get a taste of that cunt.” She even tried to convince me that I should break up with Sadie cause I was bullied by her because apparently this abusive girl wouldn’t abuse her, too. I don’t know how to get rid of this chick cause she’s a classmate of me and my gf. I haven’t said anything for fear I will be branded a homophobe, but I’m really worried Lesbian Chick might do something to Sadie if I don’t do something. Thank you in advance.
Davis (age 15)
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Interesting. I'd like to start off by noting that your referring to this other girl as "lesbian chick" is highly disrespectful. Similarly, her saying that your girlfriend will “go full lesbo once you get a taste of that cunt” is obnoxious and boorish. Next, I would point out the error of this other young woman's belief that having "manly interests" makes you a lesbian. What, a straight woman can't enjoy construction work or sports or cars? What utter nonsense. I know women who adore sports and cars and so on and are completely turned on by men.
So, how about both of you put your preconceptions and unflattering labels aside and let's just look at the relationships here. I'd be interested in learning how Sadie went from picking on you to being your girlfriend :-) But that's neither here nor there. The point is that she is now your girlfriend, and the other girl's nosing in on your relationship is inappropriate to say the least. Sadie is aware this is happening, you've said. Have you talked to her about it directly? I would say that she is the one who needs to do something just as much or more than you. If I were you, I would get together with Sadie, go over the situation, and discuss what you both think should be done. In other words, when you are in a relationship, Davis, it is a partnership in which important matters should be communicated and a joint decision made, not a unilateral one with you being the action-taker. The good news is that two voices are better than one.
Talk to Sadie. Then both of you talk to the other girl and make it very clear to her that her desire to break you up isn't going to happen and she needs to back off.
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