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  • Ask Papabear

He Feels His Life Has Been Ruined by a Website's Criticism

9/15/2015

11 Comments

 
I like to first ask to censor my First and Last name, but I do not mind if you say 'wwwarea'. But it's NOT a furry name. Anyway, I planned to write before, saved the document, etc. But I might write again and THIS time send it. But because of major drama I been dealing with, I am very open to the world ending even more, the desire to suicide (maybe), etc.

I been attacked by some cyberbullies online (Users such as Channeleven/REMRadioheadfan96 on Deviant Art, FunnelFortex on Deviantart, etc.). The worst enemy I've dealt with was REM (The basic nick name I used a lot of him). His history here: http://multiversefeeling.blogspot.com/2015/08/remradioheadfan96-or-channeleven-history.html

He (and his friends) always cause trouble, attack people for disagreeing, etc. One final thing so far is that I was attacked for being open about spirituality, and wondered about what 'Otherkin' mean here: http://wwwarea.deviantart.com/journal/Otherkin-557979348.

And, of course, Funnel started it, and etc. I stand up against their offensive prejudice biases, etc. They attacked me for it by pretending their prejudice opinions were "fact" (They clearly don't know what spirituality, multiverse, etc. mean.). I kinda ended it by making more general journals back, etc. http://wwwarea.deviantart.com/journal/No-REM-and-Vortex-you-Never-won-UPDATE-558689226. Anyway this drama was bad.

During another time, REM wrote an ED article about me, and that's where (I think) I was planning to ask for help. But then I canceled it out. However, after this major drama here, they updated it: https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Wwwarea.

Because of this cyberbullying article on how easy it is to find it with the name of 'wwwarea', etc. I am very open to the desire to die (again), the world ending, and etc. I am a major misanthropic, and I no longer have as much faith I used to have for humanity anymore.

I don't know what to do...

My RL friends never found that article, nor my family, etc. Like I don't want them to know about what I do, etc.

My questions are, what do you think of this article? How can I get it to not show in Google, and are articles like these accepted by many people online? This article strongly affects me, gives me anxiety, ruined my life, and etc. They say it's bad to have an article on ED even though it's nothing but a bunch of bulls***. I know it's more than one question, but I don't know what else to write.

I was attacked publicly for my possible mixed religion, spirituality, as a furry, for my sexuality, for what I defend, etc. All for cyberbullying humiliating, mock, etc. purposes. ALL PUBLIC.

I don't know what to bloody do anymore. I hope I die in my sleep and wake up in heaven.

* * *

Hi, Wwwarea,

I’m always disturbed by those who threaten suicide. If you are seriously contemplating it, please stop reading this right now and call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 and speak with a professional counselor.

If you are now returning to this letter, I will proceed. Nothing in the links you provided that I read looks like something you should kill yourself over or that has “ruined your life.” I really think you need to gain a bit of perspective here and realize that someone ranting about you online happens all the time. Heck, I’ve been called a fraud, a popufur (not in a good way), a simpleton, an idiot who thinks that all furries are gay (not true, of course), and someone who is just out to make money off of troubled furries (I actually lose money on this website). One guy on a furry podcast made fun of me a lot, mocking my name and portraying me as an egotist (then I found out that it was his job on the show to act like a buttmunch to gain listeners—sheesh).

As for people making fun of your explorations about Otherkin—people have been mocking others for ages for their spiritual beliefs. Worse, they sometimes kill each other about it. If you firmly believe in something, then who gives a rat’s patootie what others think? 

Remember to consider the source, which brings me to the Encyclopedia Dramatica. I took a quick survey on one of the Facebook pages I run and found out that 98 percent never heard of ED or, if they had, they didn’t consider it an important site. Only one person said they heard of it and that if you get trashed on it that it was a bad thing.

I really doubt that anyone is going to look at it. Since I doubt your family knows you go by the name wwwarea, I sincerely doubt anyone you care about will read the ED entry.

Papabear prescribes the following: one giant chill pill gulped down with a glass of cool water.

Hugs,

Papabear

* * *

Thanks for trying to help.

But I've heard criticism that ignoring the hate isn't always the best thing to do or something. I can see possibly one reason: While we both know ED is a shit site, and that it's clearly possible to ignore it, the problem is that many people actually consider it a real serious site (and a "smart" site) in some way (or partly real), and that the subjects against me are somewhat widely accepted by many people, etc.

If someone were to search 'wwwarea' in Google, they would find it and most likely agree to it or some of it, or believe some of it's slander, etc.

Another problem is that some furries, non-furries, etc. consider it a dangerous and effective site, etc. E.g. Some worry about being on it, and suggest things like: "You might get an ED if you say that!" <Not exact, etc.

I do not have RL friends (except 1 that moved out) and there are no person out there in RL who knows anything about me accept the basic what's considered "normal" or "normal enough" (some gaming, etc.). No person (maybe) openly accepts furry of much in RL here, it's basically just that crappy 'big media' garbage.

It can cause other people to see it, and worse, agree to it to me, etc. This can possibly happen with anyone, etc.

Sorry about the furry radio thing, that guy was a dick. I think people should sue that person.

Anyway, the reason why I am trying to stand up is because I am trying to self-defense myself because these people are actually serious about labeling me as "bad" and "delusional", etc. Example: I had to make this: http://wwwarea.deviantart.com/art/The-Right-to-Self-Defence-The-Truth-546045888.

* * *

Sweetie, listen to Papabear. 

You are trying to fight a website that has the sole purpose of offending you and anyone else it feels like. It is a satire site. It is a troll site, OK? Arguing against it is like being the subject of a roast and being offended when people make fun of you. The purpose of the roast is to make fun of you.

The more you fight them and argue with them, the more they will make fun of you.

So, stop posting about ED. Stop reacting to ED and its creator, Julian Dibbell. Stop worrying about what people think of posts on ED. It is a fruitless exercise.

Now, when you wish to talk about things like your explorations into spirituality, there are lots of websites and discussion forums where you can do that with open-minded people.

Do you understand?

Hugs,

Papabear

* * *

Sorry if I am bothering you. I have a feeling you are too busy on handling other things. If you want time to focus on other things first, then go for it. My 'suicidal' desire to die early is very, very strict, to the point that I'm only open to dying in my sleep by random unexpected action from the 3D awareness. Example: I could pray to die in sleep, but not knowing for sure if that will even work.

But here is my message:

It's not really a 'joke' site or much. The ones who wrote it are actually serious about me (They say, don't take it seriously, etc. but that's false), they do this for cyberbullying purposes and many people actually depend on it (It's all serious). When I asked about the Google thing, I was wondering if it was possible to shift my 'ED wwwarea page' name to at least the second page or something? - I care less about taking it down.. maybe. Though arguing it and showing people that it's not a real satire site could help let people be aware.

Anyway, it's proven very well that it's a harmful site. Example: http://happypenguin819.deviantart.com/art/Encyclopedia-Dramatica-286414039?q=favby%3Awwwarea%2F1568323&qo=23.

I don't agree about the "deserve" part, nobody still does and shouldn't depend on what others think, etc. but the rest is very interesting.

I also found out another article showing a quote showing that someone was effected due to a similar effect of people finding my name with that.

My main concern was the effects of the site and my 'wwwarea' name due to what I already tried to explain.

I don't want my RL friends, and family to see this! I don't want them to see what I do (Not that I agree it's bad or anything, it's personal), I don't want some of my online friends to see this either. And I don't want more people to see that article and agree to it. (YES, some really do take it seriously as a tool for cyberbullying, etc.)

Now also, I am now stalked, every 24/7 sometimes. Meaning that no matter what I want to express, they will find me, and update that article; causing me to hide my identity.

I may be hated by more people.

So no matter how I ignore it, that's not going to stop possibly.

Now do you understand?

I'm not expecting your help of 'taking down' ED, it's not exactly that way (But man I do wish the law did. Haha).

Again, if you need some time reading this, please have time...

* * *

Hi, there,

Here is Papabear’s opinion on Encyclopedia Dramatica’s purpose of “in lulz we trust” (if readers don’t know, “lulz” means doing thing to deliberately upset other people emotionally): there is a valid reason for satire in our society, especially political satire and political criticism. Such satire is aimed at making people aware of political wrongdoing in a humorous way because that can be very effective in making a point. Free speech is extremely important in our society; it is the foundation of freedom to be able to say what you think without being persecuted for it.

Some of what ED does is to point out products and companies that are pretty crappy. Okay, point taken. It’s different, though, when you are attacking individuals on a personal basis. What ED frequently does is simply try to hurt people’s feelings when they feel they are being foolish. The reason they do this is to attract traffic to their website, obviously, because traffic translates into advertiser money (or donations, which they ask for). I could go more deeply into the psychological reasons why people do this, but let’s just say that what they are doing is not very admirable; it’s just mean and petty. The author of the page compares the mission of ED to Ambrose Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary. Lemme tell ya, Mr. Dibbell, after reading some of your articles, it is safe to say you are no Ambrose Bierce.

One thing we do not need in this world is people causing more hurt and pain and hard feelings. There is too much of that already.

Wwwarea, there are a couple things you can do, if you wish, at this point: 1) you can stop using the name wwwarea and start fresh with a new online name and identity; 2) you can sue ED, and any other parties you feel are involved, for libel. To successfully sue for libel in court, you must prove the following:

  1. Someone made the statement (yes)
  2. The statement was published (it was)
  3. The statement caused you injury (this usually means something like you lost your job or had some other financial setback or, perhaps, that it, say, caused your marriage to end or some other disastrous thing in your life; in your case, you have not stated exactly how you were injured, other than your feelings were hurt, so I see this as problematic)
  4. The statements made about you were false (were they factually incorrect? And calling someone names does not apply in this category)
  5. The statements made were not privileged information (that is, you can’t sue someone like a doctor or lawyer who has said something to you that is privileged information; this is not an issue in your case).

Currently, the biggest problem in the above that I see is proving #3, but if you feel you can show this, you might want to consult with an attorney.

If I were you, I wouldn’t bother with a lawsuit. They can be expensive and time consuming and emotionally draining. Far easier just to change your name online and start over again, if it is bothering you that much.

If it were me, though, I would just let it be and ignore it. Bullies like Julian Dibbell wither and die when they are ignored just like a plant without water or sunshine or, in his case, manure.

Take Care,

Papabear
11 Comments
Herr Wozzeck
9/17/2015 05:08:41 pm

The other thing about the Encyclopedia Drammatica that is highly suspect is actually something that wasn't brought up here: ED is technically a wiki (I.E., a site done up in the format of Wikipedia), so literally anyone can edit it. Thus, half the articles likely aren't really written by Mr. Dibbell: they're written by the kind of trolls who use satire as an excuse to be a douchebag. Oh, sure, some of the people they cover are in themselves assholes (and boy howdy, is ED good at digging up dirt on people), but satire it is not. South Park is satirical. This... this just isn't.

WWWArea, I suggest you read up a little bit on Christian Weston Chandler so you can see a case study of why it's best to ignore ED and, by extension, the people that form your "hatedom", as it's called on the internet. It's... admittedly impossible to find an unbiased take on the guy because he's super controversial and he did do some truly, truly disgusting and horrible things (including his reaction to his hatedom), but I think you might want to read about him since there's a takeaway to be had where you really shouldn't engage ED. (To make a long story short, Christian did attempt to engage ED through various scummy ways because he didn't like what they said about him: his actions ended up sabotaging at least one--if not more--of his friendships in his real life.)

So my suggestion mirrors Papa Bear's: hit the reset button on your internet life, and cut them out of it. Trust me, the things they say will sting, but it is really for the best to ignore them. You'll be happier in the long run.

And honestly? About your family and your friends? If they see the ED article, my feeling is they'll side with you. If for whatever reason they don't eventually come around, they were never worth keeping in the first place is how I see it. Unless you've done some truly horrible things (and judging from the fact that you linked the article itself to Papa, I don't think you have), you don't have much to worry about. It's just assholes being assholes, if you'll pardon my vernacular. And really, in the grand scheme of things, they're nothing. If you have to be a vile little troll to get attention, you're in a sadder state than the people you try to hurt.

So don't give in. It's tough, but it's the right way to go.

Reply
Papapbear
9/18/2015 08:52:20 am

Well said! And, yeah, Papabear missed that ED was a wiki. This is a good example of how the Ask Papabear column is improved by reader input. Hugs.

Reply
wwwarea
9/18/2015 11:42:36 pm

Hello, thanks for trying to help.

Though I like to point these out even though I kinda already explained this in another comment.

ED is a wiki site, yes, though, anyone can get banned (you are required to have an account and will or most likely get banned if you edit an article for self-defense or for others) too.
I already know it's written by other people (REM, Funnel, and maybe other people).

I am not very sure what you mean on 'on the guy', can't tell if you are talking about REM, or someone else?

Some people in my family already knew 'wwwarea' for years. Sadly. They could search it up any time on Google...

You mean like abandon 'wwwarea'?
I was already thinking of doing that. I'm slowly doing so, though, if I get found again, I may have to lie.
Though, I may need to legally change my RL name too.

Reply
Herr Wozzeck
9/20/2015 07:27:22 pm

By "on the guy", I meant Christian Weston Chandler. And I say "find an unbiased take on the guy", because Christian is one of the most infamous men on the internet. I'm honestly quite surprised you haven't heard of him yet, though admittedly his heyday was back in 2008 so you might not have been on the internet all that long.

I guess I'll try to make this explanation as brief as possible, since it doesn't sound like you'll take this to Google any time soon. Okay, so:

Christian Weston Chandler is a guy who is perhaps best known on the internet for producing the legendarily bad webcomic "Sonichu". The comic is genuinely terrible in its own right for a variety of reasons: it looks like it was drawn by a second grader despite the fact that CWC was a college student at the time he drew it, it has writing on about that level, and then part of the way through it gets this weird adult turn that comes right out of nowhere. And that's not getting into the later issues where it gets... interesting, in relation to the haters. (You can find out more information on Sonichu here on TVTropes: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/Sonichu)

Anyway, Sonichu became so infamous that Christian Weston Chandler eventually got his own ED page (that I'm not going to link here). So CWC finds this ED page, and he thinks similar thoughts. How does he react? He reacts by "replacing the negativity with positivity", in his mind. Mentally, that's not such a bad thing.

But physically? Entirely different story. See, what he did was to draw a not-safe-for-work image of himself and a female friend of his from his real life (it was pornographic in nature), and he posted it on his ED site. And then, troll speculation increased on who it was, before Christian himself revealed it was a friend from real life. Oh, did I mention he drew this image without her express permission?

It pretty much sabotaged what I imagine was the only real IRL friendship the guy had once she found out.

Now, I don't think this applies to you, WWWArea. I mention that it's impossible to find an unbiased take on Christian Weston Chandler, because his case is... special. CWC's case is a mix of autism, bad parenting, extremely repressed sexuality, and other assorted mental health issues that would take too long to talk about here.

But the takeaway? Often, if you try to fan ED's flames, you'll just make it worse. You don't want your folks to find the ED page? Then don't give them reason to find it.

Also, you mention this:

"As of now, he has declared that he'll be moving to a new dA account to escape further RAEP from the trolls. Although, locating him should't be too difficult. Simply insult Alpha and Omega or anyone that's abnormal on the internet, and he's bound to expose himself."

I find it interesting that they say this, for one simple reason: they admit the only way they'll be able to find you is if you buckle under the insults they lob at you. But really, think about it: in order for them to insult "Alpha and Omega or anyone that's abnormal", that means they'll go to literally anyone on the world wide web that they think is you. So who does that open a target to? Everybody. So really, they've just admitted they'll have a hard time finding you, even as they put on a mask that says they will.

There's a reason internet fights are sometimes dubbed "flame wars" if they play out in a public forum: it takes firewood to feed a flame. So the answer, again, is simple: don't give them firewood to work off; doubly so if you hit the reset button.

As for changing your RL name... "I think they attempt to say my 'RL' name. If it's my name, should I legally change it?" From the way you word it, it doesn't sound like they have your IRL name. And you mention your Facebook is private, so really, if they haven't gotten your RL name right, you've got no reason to worry.

And honestly, legally changing your name? Don't you need a parent/guardian to get permission to do that depending on how old you are? And regardless of age, changing your RL will DEFINITELY tip your folks off to the fact that something is wrong: I'm fairly certain that most decently intelligent adults would want some explanation for why you suddenly want to change your name.

And... well, to be quite honest? Perhaps you should show them yourself. If you're so afraid of them finding it and coming to conclusions, then perhaps the best thing is to show them the page itself with you in the room, so that you can explain yourself to them. I know it might seem counter-intuitive, but what I'm seeing here (and take this with a grain of salt: I'm a musician, not a psychologist) is that you're bottling it up, assuming this is only your burden to bear. Don't. Bottling this up and keeping it to yourself as if you're the only one who'd understand your own struggles is obviously not doing you any favors. I can't tell you who to open up to (that's a decision you'll have to make on your own), but it needs to be someone. Th

Sergie
6/2/2017 12:56:24 pm

The police can and do flag trolls for hate speech the law is on your side

Reply
wwwarea
9/18/2015 11:35:22 pm

I decided to come on here later..
I like to let people know that the my first reply was to another message Papa didn't posted? As Papa's first response part wasn't what he wrote to me in private?

Anyway, I'm confused by the title because it sounds like it's suggesting that the cyberbullying speech about me is "criticism" or that it kinda looks like that it's "bad" to complain about criticism (some criticism can be fair, though, so-called ED's criticism wasn't.).

As for the first reply.
I do know ranting can happen 'all the time', but it really depends though. When it comes to stalking, etc. on a person that isn't that popular, this can be very effected.
In response to another, at least two RL family people has heard 'wwwarea'. In fact, one time someone tried to search 'wwwarea' on the phone when I was with them.

As for starting "over", I cannot quit my Youtube, but the only way to keep it is to do something (that I cannot tell on here due to possible stalkers that could lurk here, etc.) about it..

At least the article doesn't have any RL pictures of me. My Facebook is locked, and protected (good), and I think they attempt to say my 'RL' name. If it's my name, should I legally change it?
I also went back to look at the article and found this:
"As of now, he has declared that he'll be moving to a new dA account to escape further RAEP from the trolls. Although, locating him should't be too difficult. Simply insult Alpha and Omega or anyone that's abnormal on the internet, and he's bound to expose himself."

-----

Also, for the last reply.
Yeah it's understandable to not 'waste time' on a court thing, though I wish there was a far less risky attempt though.
Question, is that the only 'law'? What about other cyberbullying? Copyrighted pictures, etc?

For another. Yes it's a wiki site, but it's still doesn't change the harm it caused. You cannot really 'edit it' freely. I tried this on my own article, I got banned, with 'shock' (porn I think) pictures.

The only positive thing I've ever found involving ED is that the owner of the article said that the owner of the Copyrighted pictures can remove them. I tried something but so far, no action.

Reply
wwwarea
5/30/2016 09:10:58 pm

Hello, I've sent an email about a week ago. Or two.
I was requesting if it's OK to put this article into draft for now? (Private, etc.)
In the email, I've sent details on why.

Thanks for trying to help still. ;)

Reply
Ben Tebby
2/19/2017 08:27:53 pm

sometimes i feel like leaving the country forever because i just can't cope anymore like some times I'm numb feeling wise which is why i dream of Moscow nights

Reply
Papabear
2/20/2017 02:03:43 pm

Ben, you can't run away from your problems. This I know.

Reply
Sergie
6/2/2017 12:58:15 pm

how so?

Cooking by Alex link
11/29/2020 05:07:21 am

Thanks for writing thiis

Reply



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