Hey Papabear and gang,
I'm often getting in contact with furs I've never met before, typically on Twitter. I love getting to know new furs, but I've started to notice a lot of furs who tend to, for lack of a better term, creep me out a bit, whether it's by contacting me way more than normal or just saying/asking creepy things (one example was a fur asking where I lived).
Being my pitiful self, I have problems telling people to back off, because I don't want to come off as rude. At the same time, though, I don't want to block them, because I also don't want to come off as rude (you may be picking up on a pattern there), but I get uncomfortable talking to them.
How would you suggest dealing with furs who are being a bit creepy without seeming like a total fuzzy jerkface?
Sil (age 16)
* * *
Everyone has a different definition of “creepy.” What is “too much” when it comes to being contacted? If it’s every hour, then yes, that’s too much, but if it’s once a day, is that creepy? And asking where a person lives isn’t so bad, so long as it isn’t a street address, unless you’re actually going to visit someone or send them a birthday gift. You’re 16, so I’m guessing you’re a bit new to the fandom and perhaps don’t understand that furries tend to be more affectionate than mundanes, so please take that into account.
I sense, too, that you are shy and have low self-esteem. You therefore might not have been prepared for the onslaught of furry friendliness and are misinterpreting it as us being a bunch of stalkers or something.
Unless someone is making an unwanted sexual advance at you, Papabear’s suggestion is that you take this “creepiness” for what it really is: genuine interest in you and in making friends.
Now, if you do get an unwanted sexual advance, all you need to do to not be rude is say something like, “I’m really flattered by your interest in me, but I’m not looking for something sexual. Just looking to make some furiends, ok?”
Most furries are cool and will say okay. The other reactions might be undignified pouting or begging (just ignore this) or, more unpleasant, aggressive demands (very rare). If you get the latter, that is the time to block someone and/or report them to a site administrator. That’s not rude, that’s protecting yourself (and others) from someone who needs to better control his sexual urges.
Hope that answers your question!
Leave a Reply.
A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.